Warm
It’s freezing here in New York. The kind of freezing where it’s very uncomfortable to be outside even for a few minutes. There’s wind. There’s frost. Did I mention the wind? I think it’s finally winter over here. When I went outside to go to work this morning, I said to myself, “Shit, it’s cold.” When I went outside for lunch today, I said, “Shit, it’s still cold.” When I left the office to finally go home for the day, I said, “Fucking shit, I can’t believe how fucking windy and cold it is.” Yeah, can you tell I don’t really like the winter? I’m such a summer girl. This anti-summer weather can kiss my dateable ass.
So in the midst of the frigid cold, biting wind, and short, sunless days (it’s easy for even a sunny day to be sunless when your cube faces a wall), on Saturday night, I was warm. And I liked it. Warm is such a great feeling. After a fun night with New Year’s Lips and his friends at the get-together at his house, I found myself curled up with him in his big comfy bed under a bunch of nice warm blankets. I snuggled up to him, pulled the blankets right up to my chin, and soaked up all the warmth. Mmmm… loved it. Just when we were all settled and cuddled and drifting off to sleep, one of the cats hopped up onto the bed and curled up right next to me. So I’ve got New Year’s Lips (i.e., a hot naked man) on one side, and an adorable cat on the other. I was in the middle of a warm sandwich. Warm coming from all over. Warm, warm, warm. I’m telling you, for a single girl, it doesn’t get much better than that.
I kept thinking about that warm feeling all day today as I was trudging through the cold and plowing ahead on my dorky work projects. Having that warm feeling in the back of my mind made it so much easier to get through the day. I would smile to myself at random moments throughout the day. I would smile at other people. I would get lost in my thoughts for a few minutes and then get dragged back into the real world by the annoying ring of my phone. It was amazing. It was… nice.
Warm. I like being warm. I liked having a little entourage of warmth while I was sleeping. I used to think that I really liked sleeping by myself, that it was so great to be able to spread out and take up the whole bed and snore and do whatever the hell I wanted. I used to pride myself on it. I used to laugh at my married friends who have to share their bed with another person who probably steals all the blankets and wakes them up in the middle of the night and kicks them when they’re having a weird dream. But being in that warm bed on Saturday night with New Year’s Lips and his cat and all the radiating warmth surrounding me… well, it totally changed my mind. I admit it, I caved. I’m weak. I liked it. I want it all the time. I don’t want to crawl into my bed tonight without someone to keep me warm, without the cute little cat curling up to me, without New Year’s Lips’s shoulder to rest my head on. I want someone there. I don’t want to be alone.
Warm. Something so simple, but something that means so much. Something that’s hard to find on these cold winter nights. Something that makes the cold seem so much more bearable. Something that makes my life seem a little brighter on a dark night like tonight. I’m holding onto a piece of that warmth from Saturday night. It still makes me smile, and I like that.
Hope you all are staying warm tonight.
