The Dateable Dork

A few nights ago I was curled up on the couch, huddled in a big comfy blanket, watching some crappy show on tv, when my phone randomly rings.  Who is calling me on a random weekday evening?  Why must they disturb my crappy tv watching???  Oh, the nerve!  Well, I manage to reach over to the phone, and lo and behold…. it’s the new male prospect.  Remember this guy?  We kinda-sorta-but-not-really dated for a few weeks last fall, he would never hold my hand in public, finally we split up, a few months later we hooked up a few times, then we tried to be “just friends,” the next weekend we had an oral sex extravaganza, and finally he moved upstate, effectively ending whatever the hell we had going on.  Remember how we had this absolutely amazing sexual chemistry but never really had much fun once we actually got in bed?  (Why is that, by the way?)  Anyway… we had kind of lost touch for a while there, especially now that the NMP has a girlfriend upstate, but there he was – calling me out of the blue.  What to do, what to do…  I picked up the phone, bracing myself.

DD: Hello?
NMP: Hi, DD?
DD: Oh, hi!  What’s up?  How are you?
NMP: Oh, I’m good.  Just calling to catch up.  We haven’t talked in a while, huh?
DD: Yeah, no kidding…
NMP: So how are you?  What’s going on?  How’s work, etc.?

Dude, are we actually “just friends” again?  He’s calling me to say hi and shoot the shit?  Really?  Have we finally successfully transformed our relationship from an ambiguous more-than-friends state to a real platonic friendship?  Is this really possible???

Now, the debate could go on all day about the possibility of men and women being “just friends.”  It’s “When Harry Met Sally” all over again.  It’s classic.  It’s as old as time.  And…. for some reason I’m still not clear on the answer.  Go figure.  : )  The new male prospect and I wound up chatting for an hour or so – definitely a decent-sized conversation, packed with genuine friendship-type stuff, asking about girlfriends/boyfriends, work, school, etc.  I even threw in a “How’s your mom doing these days?”  It was… actually very nice.  Hmm.  But all the while, I am feeling the underlying sexual chemistry.  And all the while, I’m telling myself that (a) he has a girlfriend, (b) he lives far away, and (c) sleeping with him was almost always kind of a disaster.  And as I was going back and forth in my mind, something finally clicked: I think I solved the “just friends” conundrum.

The new male prospect and I have collided in the perfect storm – all the conditions are just right to foster the “just friends” relationship.  (By the way, it’s certainly possible that this is all in my head, and he is totally oblivious to the sexual chemistry that I always feel when I talk to him.  But moving right along…)  Between his gf, the fact that he’s far away, and the fact that I don’t actually want to sleep with him (I guess I just like the idea of it), I have three very good reasons to just be friends.  And since he’s crazy about his gf, there’s no reason for him to initiate anything with me.  So there you have it!  We still enjoy talking to each other, yet it’s totally platonic (for real this time)… well, kind of… you know what I mean.  As platonic as the new male prospect and I are ever going to get. 

Have we accomplished the impossible?  Is the transition complete?  Are the new male prospect and I… dare I say it… “just friends?”

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Edited to add: I tried to be all fancy and stick a poll in this post, but I don’t think it’s working… grrr… sorry! I’ll try to fix it, but no promises.  I *think* the poll is working now.  : )