The Dateable Dork

Ladies, back me up here: There are some days of the month where you are more susceptible to crying than others.  Ahem.  There are some days where the littlest thing will set me off into a marathon sobbing fit in which an entire box of tissues is voraciously devoured.  It happens.  I accept that.  I’m prepared.  During the height of the monthly crying season, I am sure to never be more than a few feet away from an arsenal of tissues, ready at my beckon call.  Maybe I’ll accidentally spill something on the floor.  Maybe a deadline is pushed up at work.  Maybe I’ll simply be out of juice in the morning.  Whatever little thing it may be, I’ll be ready for it. 

Not so much lately.  Or rather, way too much.  I don’t know what’s been going on lately, but I have been crying A LOT.  Like, way more than usual, and this little phase that I’m going through has lasted much longer than the typical, predictable hormonal cycle.  Not sure what’s going on, but whatever it is, I’ve been going through tissues like crazy.  Also, I’m starting to develop these semi-permanent bags under my eyes from the constant swelling, tear production, and eye wiping.  What the fuck, I mean really?  I guess I have just been really sensitive lately, probably heightened by the fact that I’m on vacation from work, which means more time to mull over whatever craziness happens to be going through my head.  The latest trigger?  Movies.  Sad movies.  Movies with dying protagonists and undying romance.  This gets me every time.  Ah, I can be such a girl sometimes.

I did something today that I’ve never done in my entire 28 years of life – I went to the movies by myself.  I know, right?  Craziness!  But get this: it was AWESOME.  The movie-induced sobbing fest was unencumbered by the presence of a friend or a date, so I just let it all out and, to be honest, had a fabulous time.  Must do this more often.  On the way home, I started thinking about other movies that have resulted in crying fits, and I noticed that they all have someone dying at the end.  Yes, death is sad, especially when the dead guy leaves behind someone who will love him until the end of time.  Awwww… I can feel the tears welling up already.  So without further rambling, I present to you my little list of movies/tv shows that have made me sob like a baby, complete with the most tear-jerking parts.  Warning: spoiler alert.  Read on at your own risk.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Just went to see this movie today.  I was in the mood for a movie that would make me cry, and this did not disappoint.  It seems that poor Benjamin and Daisy just cannot figure out how to deal with Benjamin’s little time-warp problem, resulting in an all-around sad and depressing movie that had my face covered in tears by the end of it.  Most tear-inducing lines: “Goodnight Daisy.  Goodnight Benjamin.”  Awww, this poor couple was doomed from the start.

Brokeback Mountain – Totally awesome movie that I would highly recommend, hands down.  Again, this couple is doomed from the start.  Unlike Benjamin Button, however, this movie is truly outstanding and benefits from superb acting and the kind of subtlety that you don’t often find in big-budget movies.  For me, the most tear-inducing line is the very last line in the movie: “Jack, I swear…”  Excellent.  Damn it, where is my tissue box???

Titanic – Ok, I’m a girl, how could I NOT include this one?  I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, this movie still gets me every time, even though I’ve seen it more times than I care to admit.  The line that still always gets me is at the very end when Rose gives her name as, “Dawson.  Rose Dawson.”  Awwwwwwwwww.  Undying love at its cheesy best.

Six Feet Under – This tv series was, in my opinion, phenomenal.  I ate it up with a spoon.  And while I loved the entire series, the finale really made me cry like a baby for many, many hours after it was over.  The finale takes you through the life and death of all the main characters, with each one more tear-jerking than the next.  I swear, I don’t remember crying this much in a long time.  Please please watch this series on DVD if you haven’t already.  It’s totally awesome.

Meet Joe Black – Of all the movies and all the tv shows that I’ve watched over the years, Meet Joe Black takes the prize for the most tears generated, by far.  Between the father dying and Brad Pitt coming back to life at the very end, this movie has it all.  Not to mention the kind of creepy vibe and the very slow, purposeful language used throughout the movie.  It all comes together in a sobbing fest which usually keeps me up half the night and results in a pile of tissues on my bedroom floor in the morning. 

By the way, if anyone is still reading this sappy post, I’m impressed.  : )

Oh, and one more thing – I’ve been really digging Pink’s Sober lately.  This song is just the right combination of tough chick and creepy/depressing that really gets me going.  Love the lyrics, love the music, love the bad-ass factor.  I’m not usually a fan of Pink, but this song is good.  Note to local radio stations: please play this when I’m in the car.  Ok?  Thanks.

Ok, I’m off to try to survive the night without another crying fest.  Wish me luck.  I promise that if I run into an undying romance type of movie on tv tonight that I will promptly change the channel.  Probably.  Well, it depends on what it is… oh god, where is my damn tissue box???