The bridesmaid of Frankenstein
Oh dear lord, what have I done to deserve such a torturous fate? Wait… don’t answer that. : )
Remember that 50-pound strapless bridesmaid dress (official photo here) that my dear friend has flung upon my unwilling body in a fit of bridezilla dementia? Remember how I NEVER wear strapless dresses (especially really, really heavy ones) because they just fall right off my unusually straight and dorky body? Lack of significant curves = strapless dress on floor. Not rocket science. But remember how I love my friend and am going to have to wear this monstrosity whether I like it or not? Yeah… that’s the thing about weddings. You pretty much have to smile and do what you’re told. Ugh.
So in the spirit of the oh-so-lovable Tim Gunn, I was determined to “make it work.” I pulled out all my dust-covered sewing supplies and, needle and thread in hand, concocted a Project-Runway-meets-Frankenstein tornado of do-it-yourself dress alterations. Note to self: never do this again. Also note: I probably saved myself over 100 bucks. Worth it? Ummm… the jury is still out.
To summarize: (1) The dress now stays on my body. (2) To make everything work, I had to stuff socks in my bra. (3) The alterations are… ummm… “not professional,” but I really don’t care as long as I’m not flashing my boobs at the wedding. (4) My fingers are sore, and my eyes are tired. (5) Really DD, NEVER do this again.
I was going to take pictures for the blog, but I just can’t stand to look at my strapless undead mutant any longer. Sorry, my dears. Seacrest out.
I actually really like that bridesmaid dress! Is there a lot of stuff underneath the dress to make it so heavy??
KT’s last blog post..Bye bye 2008
January 1st, 2009 at 5:56 pmOh, my dear, I feel you. I will be stuffing myself into a sea green taffeta abomination for my 21-year-old sister’s wedding on Saturday. In Denver. Is it possible to get frost-bitten cleavage?
In any case, this dress is of the sort that comes with the boobs already in it. Being of unusual height, and already having a pretty decent rack of my own, the dress doesn’t fit me quite right, and I invariably look like I have four breasts when I put in on. Smashing.
For more of my take on Sister’s Matrimonial Olympics, take a look at the post linked below:
StephanieInCA’s last blog post..Enraged to be married
January 1st, 2009 at 7:53 pmKT – Yes, the dress looks very nice on the model, but it just doesn’t fit my body type at all. The huge sash in the back is the main contributor to the weight of the dress, not to mention just the sheer volume of fabric involved. I would feel a lot better if the damn thing had some straps to hold it up!
StephanieInCA – Sea green taffeta??? What was she thinking? I think you have it worse than I do. Plus the whole 4-boob situation doesn’t sound like much fun. Good luck, my dear, and please give us the full report once the monstrosity is over. : )
The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..Damage assessment: 2008
January 1st, 2009 at 8:59 pmI dunno I imagine I would be thrilled to see your breasts flashed at a wedding. Thanks to KT though, you now know big boobs are hard to own too.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:52 pm