Scared shitless
Sometimes I think about upcoming events, and it really scares the shit out of me. Observe:
Exhibit A: Tomorrow afternoon I have yet another appointment with my BFF the gynecologist, at which point I’m supposed to get back all the results of the battery of tests from my last appointment a few weeks ago. Since I didn’t get any frantic phone calls over the last few weeks, I assume nothing is horribly wrong. It scares me to think that something could be horribly wrong, but what scares me even more is the possibility of “nothing” being wrong. What if all the tests come back negative, and the doctors still won’t know what’s wrong or what do to with me? I am hoping for answers tomorrow, and I’m scared to death that I won’t get any.
Exhibit B: I am trying to get my life in order like a real adult, and the whole process is very scary. It is beginning to dawn on me that this whole “being single” thing might be around for longer than I had originally anticipated, and perhaps I shouldn’t keep waiting around for a man in order to get my shit in gear. I had always envisioned doing certain things with someone, but perhaps I should just bite the bullet and do them by myself. Perhaps I need to re-think my plans. Perhaps I need to accept reality and stop living in my delusional little fantasy world in which someone will magically appear and sweep me off my feet. I am an independent woman, and I should start acting like it.
Exhibit C: After my doctor’s appointment tomorrow, I’m going out for dinner/drinking/dancing with a few girlfriends. And as we’re drinking and dancing and trying to avoid the ubiquitous skeevy bar monkeys… the clock will suddenly strike midnight… and I’ll be 29. Twenty-nine years old. Well shit then. And so the countdown to 30 begins, and I would really like to have my shit together by the time I’m 30. There are certain things that seem to be acceptable in your 20s, but not so much in your 30s. So, my goal over the next year is to transform myself from a 20-something mess into a 30-something adult. Can I do it? God, I freaking hope so.Â
So there you have it. I’m scared to death of my gyno appointment tomorrow, I’m scared to death about my birthday, and I’m scared to death that I’m forging full-speed ahead… alone.
a) Good luck! I hope the appointment goes well!
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:14 amb) Try not to sweat it.
c) Happy Birthday!
Happy early birthday!
You know, I recently turned 33 and I’m “forging full-speed ahead alone”…with the exception of my 6 yr old son. I’m dating, but nothing serious. Life isn’t too bad. It is nice being independent. I provide for myself and my son (the dad is not around and offers 0 financial support). I am living life and making the most of it.
If the right guy comes along, great. If he doesn’t, I think I will be okay.
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 ama) My scary test isn’t until late February/early March. Waiting is the hardest part. Whatever happens, you’ll know by the end of the appt. And the waiting will be over. And you’ll be able to handle whatever the outcome is.
b) Yes, you should go ahead and do the things you need to do. Why would the kind of guy you want desire a woman who doesn’t have her shit together? No brainer. Get the new job, buy a house, start your savings, whatever it is you’re waiting for a guy to do, there’s no need.
c) Sigh. 30. You have two years on me, so I can’t help. My big sis is still doing the single thing at 32 and she doesn’t seem old to me. So my new scary age is 35. 35 is the new 30.
Happy Birthday, DD!
Holly Hoffman’s last blog post..News Flash: Sex is a Distraction
January 23rd, 2009 at 1:49 pmHappy birthday! Hope the test results came back and everything was okay.
Turning 30 isn’t that bad but, that said, enjoy every minute of being 29.
January 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 pmDD,
1. I hope things went well.
2. I agree with everyone else. And as an added bonus, there are lots of guys who like a lady who has her stuff together. Too many clingy “take care of me” women out there for comfort. And you don’t strike me as being like that.
3. Happy Birthday. Dance your pretty lil ass off and enjoy the heck out of 30. I have found, at 35, that 30s are better than 20s.
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:09 pmHappy birthday!
I’ve heard that 40 is the new 30, so that means that 30 is the new 20. Thus, 29 is the new 19. Or something like that. Bring that fake ID so you don’t get carded.
One good thing about getting older is that the people you meet tend to be more mature as they get older.
January 24th, 2009 at 3:51 amTo all – Thanks so much for the birthday wishes! : )
Lawrence – Hahaha, I am trying “not to sweat it,” but I think I need a much stronger being-an-adult anti-perspirant.
Rachelle – Rock on, girl!!! You have a great positive attitude, and I need to be more like you. Good for you for taking care of what you need to.
Holly – Best of luck with your upcoming test – I’m sure you’ll be able to handle the outcome, either way. I’ll be sending you some healthy vibes. As for getting my shit togeter – my life is actually in fairly good order, but I’ve been delaying those “big steps” that have been on the horizon for a while. I think now is the time to just go for it, already!
Mr NYC – Hahaha, thanks. Hopefully 29 will be so fabulous that by the time I turn 30, I’ll be exhausted and ready for a break. : )
Chris – Yeah, I’m certainly not the “take care of me” type of girl – quite the opposite, acutally. But I do feel like I’ve been waiting around for certain things, and it’s about time I stopped waiting.
Michael – 29 is the new 19? Hahaha, I wish! I actually *did* get carded last night, so maybe you’re onto something here… I definitely find that people are getting more mature, myself included. This is a very, very good thing.
The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..Scared shitless
January 24th, 2009 at 11:59 amDD, happy birthday!! I hope you get laid! And barring that, well, I hope you get some good presents and have a blast with your girly friends. I’ll be thinking of you in a totally raunchy sexy way of course.
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January 25th, 2009 at 9:35 amLance – Thanks, babe. : )
The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..Happy birthday, happy news
January 25th, 2009 at 9:51 pmOh, shoot – the one time I am not glued to the computer, and you have a bday! Happy belated bday, DD. Boy do I have stuff to tell u!
NewWrldYankee’s last blog post..Woohoo!!! Oh…yea….
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 amP.S. I hope it all went ok bday and appointment wise. Reading on and catching up..
NewWrldYankee’s last blog post..Woohoo!!! Oh…yea….
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:57 am