Comments on: Ah, to be in love again…

By: The Dateable Dork

The Dateable Dork — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 01:08:14 +0000

fionna – Exactly – I hope it all works out the way it’s supposed to… whatever that may be. I accept fate in situations like this.

Michael – Hahaha! If only I were 10 years older and lived in Texas… : )

Honey – Yeah, seems like we’ve been in very similar situations. It totally sucked big time, but we just couldn’t figure out a way around it! I wanted him to stay in New York, he wanted me to move with him, and when we both had made up our minds, we just hugged and I left his apartment and that was that. Bummer.

By: Honey

Honey — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:42:05 +0000

Lance and I broke up only because - and as far as I know, ONLY because - I was moving to AZ for grad school and he didn't want to pack up and leave FL. We had been together less than a year when the decision was made, so I think it was the right decision, but I still wonder how things would have turned out if that hadn't happened. Even though I think the BF makes me as happy as I could be, it SUCKS when pure and simple logistics gets in the way of something great. I've been there. Honey’s last blog post..Spring Chicken: Birthday Celebrations!

By: Michael from Texas

Michael from Texas — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 08:54:25 +0000

Yeah, in that case, I’d say sure, go ahead (even though you already did it. There was nothing broken and things ended relatively well; perhaps there’s something in the old relationship that can be rekindled.

Now, if you had said he cheated on you, hit you, stole from you, or something like that, then I’d say no way should you contact him.

Actually, the only reason I’ve got for telling you to NOT see him is that this way I’ve got the tiniest miniscule of a chance with you since you’re not otherwise occupied.

By: fionna

fionna — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:40:19 +0000

Oh, see, knowing the circumstances if we were actually friends I would have, in no uncertain terms, told you to contact him. So I’m glad you did! I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you, DD, that this all works out the way it’s supposed to

By: The Dateable Dork

The Dateable Dork — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 21:23:34 +0000

All – Thanks for the honest and caring feedback. I actually *did* wind up sending him a quick email this morning. Not sure if I’ll regret it later, but for now, I’m glad I did it.

I’m very comfortable talking about the split, but I guess I never really talked about it on the blog? Anyway, here’s what happened: the five-year BF was finishing up grad school in New York, and he got a fantastic job offer in another city. I told him that although I didn’t want to pick up my entire life and move, I would feel guilty forever if he didn’t take this job just because of me. So he took the job and moved, and I stayed in New York, and that was that. We were both committed to our careers and neither of us wanted to give up such great jobs. Also, we both wanted to live close to our families – mine in New York, and his close to his new job. So we just ended it because we couldn’t figure out a way to save the relationship.

I think it’s such a shame. Maybe we were both too young to realize what we were giving up. Maybe there were things below the surface and this job offer was a good excuse to get out of it. Maybe we both wanted to explore other options before settling down. But honestly, I didn’t really feel any of those things – I just wanted to stay with him but didn’t want to have to overhaul my entire life to do it. Oh well.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have moved in a heartbeat.

By: KT

KT — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 14:01:35 +0000

I agree with Michael....think about why you guys broke up. Is it something that would still cause a problem in your relationship? KT’s last blog post..First week in DC thoughts

By: fionna

fionna — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 12:33:06 +0000

I’m with Michael…we don’t know the reason why you broke up, but it’s possible those reasons no longer apply. What’s more, it’s been a few years since you’ve been in contact with him, right? Life happens, people grow and change (even though sometimes we prefer to think otherwise) and he may not even be the same person you remember. YOU may not be the same person he remembers.

What’s the worst that could happen if you contact him? You find out he’s moved on, is married, has a family, etc. So what? You’re already worrying about that now, finding out officially could bring you some closure instead of having these what-ifs swimming through your head. Yeah, maybe you’ll regret it for a bit, but you’ll still know for certain. BUT, you might also find out that none of those things are true and that maybe he’s been thinking of you, too.

If you don’t contact him, then you’ll just have to live with not knowing. At the end of the day I, for one, tend to feel better knowing that I took a chance. Maybe I’ll regret it, but no more so than if I hadn’t tried at all.

With happiness like what you described at stake, how could you not take the risk?

By: Claire

Claire — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 06:58:26 +0000

Damn dreams! I had a dream the other night that my ex slept with an ex-friend of mine. I woke up missing him like crazy and all I've wanted to do since is call him, even though that would be a very bad move. Claire’s last blog post..Shut Up and Kiss Me

By: Michael from Texas

Michael from Texas — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 06:51:11 +0000

I don’t remember if you talked about it in your Blog 1.0, but are you comfortable talking about why you broke up? Before doing anything you might regret, think about the reasons you broke up and whether or not those reasons still apply.