Rants and raves: my opinions on sex-related issues
I don’t normally use this blog to voice my opinions on politics/religion/etc., but peeps, there is just too much interesting stuff going on right now, and I feel the need to comment. Let me preface this post by saying that I don’t intend to offend, insult, or criticize anyone. I respect the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I’m just voicing my own personal opinions here, nothing more. Let’s not get our panties in a bunch, ok? : )
Issue #1: The FDA will soon make Plan B available to 17-year-old girls.
This is such a complicated issue, but I’m fully in support of this move. Listen, teenagers do stupid shit. (Hell, adults do stupid shit!) Teenage girls who want to have unprotected sex are going to do it, no matter what their parents tell them, regardless of whether Plan B is available to them or not. That’s just the way it is. I really don’t see the harm in allowing 17-year-olds to purchase Plan B without their parents’ permission or a prescription or whatever, especially if it will reduce unwanted pregnancy and give these girls an option after they inevitably do something stupid. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all the arguments that this will just encourage more stupid behavior and minors shouldn’t be able to make these decisions for themselves and blah blah blah etc. I know. But honestly, if I were 17 and discovered I was pregnant [oops!] “accidentally” had unprotected sex, being able to go to the drug store and take this pill would seriously save my life. Granted, I knew MUCH better than to have unprotected sex when I was 17 and couldn’t imagine getting myself into this situation in the first place, but whatever. Teenagers are dumb. I think this is a good move.
Issue #2: Abstinence-only education is being practiced in many U.S. high schools.
In short, I think this is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard in my entire 29 years of life. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK. As I said above, teenagers who want to have sex are GOING TO DO IT, no matter what anyone else tells them, particularly adults. Again, this is a complicated issue, but here’s how it all boils down, in my opinion: telling teenagers not to have sex is just going to make them want to do it even more. Not telling them how to protect themselves is akin to directly and purposefully endangering the sexual and reproductive health of American teenagers across the board. Why in the world would anyone willingly do this??? I just can’t wrap my head around it. Again, I’ve heard all the arguments and know what the opposition is saying. I fully encourage educating teenagers about the risks inherent in sexual activity, and I even support education that encourages them to wait, etc. But to flat-out deny these kids essential information about protecting their health by purposefully omitting it from sex education classes should be punishable as a crime. Seriously. Wake up, people. Kids are having sex. It’s about time we accepted that and left religious beliefs out of the equation. Your kid is not going to be able to be a good Christian if she gets infected with an STD and dies before she reaches college. Wake the fuck up.
Issue #3: The Catholic church still doesn’t support any form of birth control.
Listen peeps, I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school for almost 18 years, during which time I was brainwashed with all sorts of bullshit. I have since abandoned the Catholic church because, in my opinion, it is one of the most backwards religions out there, and I didn’t go to college for all those years only to abandon scientific evidence and believe crazy stories for the sole reason that everyone else has been believing them for hundreds of years. No thanks. One of my biggest beefs with the Catholic church is their continued teaching that any and all forms of birth control are “wrong.” Didn’t the Pope recently visit Africa, see the devastation of HIV/AIDS, and still uphold the church’s anti-contraceptive teachings? Is that fucked up beyond belief or what??? Again, I simply cannot wrap my mind around why anyone would do this. It’s unbelievable. Wake up: we live in the 21st century. This also ties in to the abstinence-only education discussion above, all the issues surrounding abortion, and so many other issues, but I won’t get into all that right now. Suffice it to say that I’m very pro-contraception, pro-abortion, pro-sex education, etc., and I think religious beliefs play WAY too large of a role in many people’s thoughts on these issues. Not tyring to offend anyone here, just stating my opinion.
Issue #4: Gay marriage is still illegal in most U.S. states.
This is a big one. My opinion on same-sex marriage has always been, and continues to be, this: What harm does allowing a same-sex couple to get married cause to anyone? Who is it hurting, honestly??? Why the fuck should I, or anyone else (particularly the state and federal government!) have any say in who you want to marry? When did anyone inherit that right? I think it is absolutely ASTONISHING that we have laws in this country that specifically require that employers, etc. do not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, but we continue to purposefully and vehemently deny homosexual couples one of the most basic human rights out there. This absolutely blows my mind. And yet again, I think religious beliefs are interfering with politics here in a huge and very inappropriate way. Since when does one person’s religious belief prevent another person from doing something? Oh right, this sort of shit has been going on since the dawn of time! Isn’t it about time that we let it go? I am personally ashamed to live in a state where gay marriage has not yet been legalized, but it seems that the tides are changing, and rumor has it that New York will soon follow other states who have grown a pair of balls on this issue. It can’t come soon enough.
So there you have it. Rant over. I just had to get that out!
I agree with you on all of these, but I want to split hairs with you a bit regarding the last one. Obviously gays should have the same rights as heterosexuals, but to me a far larger issue is that marriage really has no place in law. Marriage is a religious ceremony and should stay as such. Get rid of the word marriage in a legal sense altogether and just call it all a “civil union” or whatever the fuck you want, and the debate goes away. But it comes down to this: religion is the most destructive social force in human history and really has no place in government.
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April 26th, 2009 at 11:03 pmHammer – Excellent point, and I would be completely in support of that as well. I don’t care what you call it, as long as everyone is offered the same set of opportunities.
April 27th, 2009 at 8:07 amI’d disagree that marriage is a religious ceremony. When Plymouth colony was founded, the very first Western marriage on this land was performed as a secular, civil act. Why? No where in the bible does it mention marriage as a sacrament, being ordained by a minister. Puritans viewed marriage as a strictly civil act. Many religions and cultures have viewed it as such. It has almost always been a civil ceremony. Religion hijacked it.
And comprehensive sex education is what is effective. Yes, you demonstrate how to use birth control — even though WINGNUTS will claim “there are 14 steps required to properly use a condom. Do you really think someone is going to pay attention to all 14 steps? Even then condoms are only 90% effective and you can still get aids because it can fit through the latex [absolute lie]. Sounds far too risky and like a losing bet to me.” — that is the first step. The second step is not to teach abstinence, it is to seriously demonstrate the links between large numbers of sexual partners and risky sexual behaviors and STDS and AIDS. The “if you slept with Suzy, and she slept with Joe, therefore you have slept with every woman Joe has slept with” is grossly incomplete and far too simplistic. There are numerous ways to visualize and display social clusters and how they are tied to STD risks. Of course, that would involve incorporating the latest scientific research into the curriculum. And there is no way WINGNUTS are going to allow that to happen as they are thoroughly anti-science.
DD, you are hot. I want to have sex with you.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:11 amI don’t know how you can say that marriage is not a religious ceremony. Religion and Marriage was around long before the Plymouth Colony. Nearly every culture in human history has had a form of religion in some way or another, and marriage is always presided over by some kind of divine or divine-like figure, whether that be a god or a priest or a king who claims to be a god.
Marriage is all over the bible. Adultery is one of the 10 commandments, right between murdering and stealing. A “high wall of separation” as Jefferson put it between church and state requires that marriage be removed from government.
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April 27th, 2009 at 11:12 amI agree with you all the way, DD!
What they SHOULD do is replace marriage in legal-ese type documents with civil union, and say that if you want to say you are married, go ahead – but you have to go to church at least twice a month and participate in tithe in order to claim that title.
We’ll see how many people bother, then…
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April 27th, 2009 at 12:07 pmAll fascinating (and compelling) arguments, D2.
As circular and pointless as much of this stuff (politics) seems to be, I find it all so fucking interesting. It’s the basic reason why I can’t read fiction anymore and why I’m shying away from going to school for creative writing. I just like REAL stuff and it turns out that human beings are actually thousands of times more interesting than hobbits (although I did read the whole lord of the rings series and like it).
Jonsi way to be blunt. Even though I’m sure you already know this, just remember that sometimes chicks take awhile to get onboard when you just tell them you want to fuck them.
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April 27th, 2009 at 12:19 pmWell, DD
As for Plan B, I’m ok with it except for the parental notification thing. I don’t like the idea of the government sticking its nose in this way.
Abstinence only sex-ed doesn’t work, that’s why shot-gun weddings were invented. That keeps your pecker in your pants.
The Catholic Church – I’ll pass on this one. I’m not sure they know what century it is. They may still burn people at the stake.
Gay marriage – as a Republican/Libertarian the Religious Right gives me a bad name on this. IMHO, the biggest argument FOR gay marriage is HETEROSEXUAL marriage. When the divorce rate is hovering near 50% for first marriages, the sanctity of marriage between a man & woman argument holds zero credibility. If the Religious Right actually cared about the sanctity of marriage, they’d be fighting to outlaw divorce with the same vigor they bitch about gay marriage.
That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
April 27th, 2009 at 12:41 pmIssue No. 1: I think you meant to say if you had unprotected sex that Plan B would be a lifesaver, not that if you found out you were pregnant. And odd it took a judge to order the FDA to do this because they were ignoring their scientific advisers for political reasons, ah Bush, we do miss you so, not really.
Issue No. 2: Agreed.
Issue No. 3: Agreed, and hopefully you at least kept your school outfit.
Issue No. 4: Those who oppose gay marriage will be on the losing side of history. There are only religious arguments against it, and putting aside the absurdity of many of such arguments, they aren’t legal reasons for banning it. Therefore, court after court will slowly chip away at the bans until they are mostly gone, unless you live in Texas or the deep south. This and the fact the younger generations are ok with it, old people simply dying off will make this a non-issue.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:04 pmHammer, marriage was also around before any organized religion, too. All I am saying is that in no way can religion claim ownership of it historically. To do so requires advocating that your own particularly religion have a theocracy.
I’d like to remove religion from the public square as it remains too prevalent and damaging. I would be all for making civil unions and leaving marriage to the Church, except I think it’s just conceding to the bigoted nutjobs. The question is, will that concession more quickly and thoroughly grant civil rights to gays? I don’t think it will. I suspect that within a decade most states in the union will allow gay marriage. I certainly hope so. Gays and atheists will still want secular MARRIAGE ceremonies, albeit not in a church. I believe it is an unnecessary concession that will appease a small portion of WINGNUTS. The remainder will still find an issue to preach their hate in order to keep their relevancy and power-base.
I am an atheist. I would still have a secular “marriage” ceremony and refer to my civil union partner as my wife. I would invite people to our WEDDING. I would refer to us as being married and I would vehemently oppose any religious person who claimed my civil-union-marriage was less valuable than their religious-ordained one. My state license may be a civil union license, but I am still going to have a godless wedding, she will be my godless wife [hopefully], and I am going to consider our partnership a godless marriage. A piece of paper saying “civil union license” would not change the fact that I consider our partnership a marriage, and I would ream a new asshole in any religious person who argued “sorry, but she’s not your wife, she’s just your civil union partner.”
You can have all the civil unions you want. Gay men and women are going to refer to their unions as marriage and their partners as their husbands and wives. While classifying unions as civil may technically dismantle gay discrimination from a legal standpoint, it leaves much to dismantle. I don’t know why a gay person would accept that. I understand your thesis is that religion is a cancer and it would be good to separate as many civil activities from it as possible. I agree with that statement. Regarding marriage, however, I view it as a concession: “not only are you legally allowed to believe and teach that gays are second class citizens, but as a government we have no interest in challenging that belief.” I believe government does have a role not just in legally treating all people as equals, but in actively promoting that belief. In this sense, yes, there is a homosexual agenda. And I support it 100%.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:14 pmI agree with you completely on all of this. If Barack’s election showed us anything, it’s that America is changing in a more progressive, open-minded direction. Same sex marriage is a civil right IMO and things like abstinence-only education and being against birth control is not only dumb but really, really dangerous. As for the Plan B thing, of course. For the life of me, I’ll never understand why people insist on politicizing things like love, marriage, sex, our bodies, and the environment. Letting people live their lives freely, love who they want, and control their own bodies … sounds like something Christ might agree with.
April 27th, 2009 at 5:50 pmWow, thanks for chiming in with such a great discussion in the comments!
I actually really like the idea of civil unions as a legal institution and marriage as an optional religious (or non-religious) ceremony. Everyone can claim the same financial, etc. benefits from the legalized union, and if the spirit moves you, you can have a marriage ceremony in whatever venue and in whatever way you like, and you call your spouse whatever the heck you want – husband, wife, partner, schmoopy, love muffin, whatever.
[Also, just as a side note - I am not an athiest and actually do believe in god, whatever what means. I have absolutely no part in organized religion whatsoever, but I do find myself talking to something up there when things aren't going very well. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is what it is.]
On the subject of abstinence-only education – As you know, I went to Catholic school where we were taught that evolution was “only a theory” and the topic of contraceptives was strictly off limits in health class. One day in my junior year of high school, our health teacher said she was passing out something that we were not going to discuss, and she said we shouldn’t tell anyone about it because she could get fired, and that we should just read it, pass it back up to the front, and get on with the rest of the class. She passed out a fact sheet about how to use condoms. The entire class was silent for 10 minutes. Then we moved on with the rest of the day. Looking back, I give this teacher MAD PROPS for going against the system. At the time, I just remember thinking: “Ooooooh, penises!!!” As I said above, teenagers are dumb. : )
DrSmoothie – Thanks for catching my error! I was obviously in such a frenzy that I had no idea what I was talking about – not unusual for me, actually. Hahaha. I fixed it above.
And finally, I couldn’t leave this one alone:
Jonsi – If you are having sexual fantasies about me, I absolutely demand to know all the dirty details, babe. : )
April 27th, 2009 at 9:21 pmI agree with all 4 points.
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April 27th, 2009 at 9:29 pmMy opinion: nuke ALL the bastards. There, easy.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:09 pm