Speaking of confessions…
Getting my little weight-related confession off my chest yesterday was such a relief that I’ve decided to let out a few more. Doesn’t it feel good to get things off your chest – things that have been stewing in your subconscious for a while, fermenting, eating away at you? Ewww, yeah, let’s get rid of this shit, shall we? And in the interest of maintaining this little blog as a judgment-free zone, when you inevitably hang your head in that “Oh, DD, you didn’t…” kind of way, please try not to snicker too loudly because my little ego is weak with hunger-related crankiness. Ok? : )
Confession #1: After you-know-who ditched me in a raging ball of flames the other night, I was desperate for some male attention — and, honestly, a piece of ass — and I texted Chicago Boy for a booty-call. I know, I know, I’m totally pathetic. The guy totally ditched me, and I come crawling back for a desperate piece of ass? How much more pathetic can you get? I regretted it as soon as I hit send, and I really, really hoped he would just ignore me so I wouldn’t be tempted to actually go through with it. Thankfully, he texted back that he was away for the weekend visiting his parents. Whether or not that was actually true, it was the best possible response. I haven’t heard from him since, thank god. I’ll be very happy if we never have any contact again! SO embarrassing, I swear.
Confession #2: I knew The Editor wasn’t going to work out from the very beginning. As much as I liked him, as perfect as he was in almost every possible way, and as much as we clicked on so many dorky levels, I just never had that “OMG I want to jump you right NOW” feeling about him. Know what I mean? He was such an amazingly nice guy and everything that I was looking for, but I just didn’t see us working out long-term. Granted, I was extremely upset when he dumped me, but when the dust settled, I finally acknowledged that it was going to end sooner or later, so I guess it all worked out in the end.  Too bad, really, but what can you do?
Confession #3: And this is a BIG one, people. This is something that I really don’t think I’ve ever told ANYONE, like, ever. I was so embarrassed and so upset about it that I just couldn’t bear telling anyone when it happened, and I’ve still never mentioned it all these years later. Also, there’s something about saying it out loud that makes you own up to it, and I haven’t really ever wanted to do that. Since the blog is a safe place for me, here goes: As you know, the five-year BF and I broke up because he moved out of New York and I didn’t move with him. A few months later, after many long and tear-filled phone conversations, I sucked it up and offered to move — and he rejected me. You have no idea what it took for me to offer to move when I really, really didn’t want to, and to have him flat-out reject me like that was just about the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through. It begs the question: was he just upset that I didn’t move in the first place, or was there something else that he didn’t like about me, and the whole moving thing was just an excuse for him to get out? The thought of this being a possibility just kills me, and I don’t like to even think about it. But now you know something about me that no one else does. Yes, you should feel very special. : )
Whew! Feels good to put that out there. So… what’s your confession?
that last one must have been killer at the time!…but you know what, you are right…was he just upset or were there other factors…some things just are not meant to be…
cg
curiousgirl’s last blog post..twitter fuck
May 1st, 2009 at 1:09 amThese are great as secrets go! Here is mine: I have a couple crushes (nothing cheat-worthy, just “I am happy when so-and-so talks to me” kind of crushes).
One of them is a faculty member in the department I work for. He is BRUTALLY sarcastic which I like even though he is not particularly good-looking (okay, but probably a 6.5 until he talks…then he is so bitter and snarky he shoots to a 9 instantly!).
The other is a friend that I used to work with in Flagstaff who moved to Phoenix as well. He’s also really funny and VERY good-looking (actually I think he looks a little like the BF). We met up for drinks the other day and were both still dressed from work and EASILY the two best-looking people in the bar. I imagined that everyone thought we were together and it made me feel really, really good.
May 1st, 2009 at 1:16 pmThose are good secrets (and the ones in the posts before). I admire you for putting it all out there. I’ve confessed secrets on my locked blog, but definitely not on the public one.
It does feel good to put it in writing though. Kind of like how I keep telling everyone I’m going to run a half marathon in October. That means I need to do it…
There is juicier stuff in the other blog. As for your boys, I think it worked out for the best for all of them. I can completely relate to The Editor and those feelings… and how hard that is to admit to.
OC’s last blog post..10 Things
May 2nd, 2009 at 5:57 pmcg – Yeah, it certainly *was* a killer, and I still don’t think I could ever tell my real-life friends about it, and especially my parents! They would just die – they loved him.
Honey – Ooooh, those are juicy! Well, there’s nothing wrong with being excited about talking to/hanging out with male friends. Just because you’re with the BF, doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate the things around you. : )
OC – Good luck training for the half-marathon! You can do it, girl!!! The only reason I can confess these things (not to mention write about all the dirty details of my personal life) is that no one I know in real life reads this blog (as far as I know, anyway). Thank god or else I’d drop dead of embarrassment!
May 2nd, 2009 at 6:17 pm