The Dateable Dork

You may be wondering where the hell I’ve been, considering that I haven’t posted anything in almost a week, which I don’t think has happened since I started up DD Version 1.0 a year and a half ago.  So where have I been?  Good question – I have no idea!

Truth is, I haven’t been feeling like DD in quite a while now, and especially in the past few weeks.  My dating/sex life has died a miserable death and has been non-existent for several months now.  I’ve lost that exciting boy-crazy feeling that I’ve had pretty much constantly for the past few years.  I couldn’t give a flying fuck about dating right now – I just can’t be bothered with it.  Dating is such a big fucking emotional roller coaster, it’s so emotionally exhausting, and with the kinds of results I’ve been getting over the past year, it’s SO not worth my time, energy, and money.  I can’t handle it!  I’m sick of getting excited and then being disappointed.  I’m sick of guys being interested one minute and disappearing the next.  I’m sick of losing out to the pretty girls, and I’m sick of combing through clueless virgins living in their mother’s basement who think that maybe a big dork like me might be willing to date their fat ass – no thanks.  Screw that shit!

I’m completely jaded, and I need a break.  I need a break from thinking about men, trying to get a date, trying to get laid, etc.  I need to focus on other things, more productive things, things that actually have a half-decent chance of getting me somewhere, instead of this mind-numbing cycle of dating that always, ALWAYS leaves me right back where I started, with nothing to show for it except a few more emotional scars and a few less dollars in my bank account. 

That’s not to say I’m giving up completely, but I just can’t put any more energy into it right now.  My physical scars are still healing (and getting a little better every day, thank god), and I feel as if my emotional scars are so numerous and so all-encompassing that I just don’t have any room for new ones right now.  Over the past week, I’ve been focusing on other aspects of my life that I enjoy, not to mention my ongoing goal of losing weight, which is actually going quite well.  I’ve lost 10 pounds in 4 weeks, which I think is fantastic.  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten healthier in my life, and I love the way I look right now.  My clothes fit, and I feel great.  These are the kinds of things I need in my life right now – healthy goals that I can actually achieve on my own (without the need for anyone or anything else).

I could get into all the details of my emotional state right now, but suffice it to say that I’ve temporarily decided to shift focus to preserve my own mental health.  I’m sure DD will still be around, somewhere, but right now I need to focus on the real person behind this blog – the 29-year-old woman who is about to be promoted at work, who recently lost 10 pounds without any magic pills (just diet and exercise), and who has better things to do with her life than trying to find a man who will inevitably disappoint her.  Sounds like a healthy plan to me.