The Dateable Dork

Thank you all so much for your very kind words and well wishes in comments, emails, tweets, etc.  I am seriously behind on responding to messages and can barely keep my online life in order lately (let alone my real life), but you all mean so much to me, and I truly appreciate your concern and advice.  Thank you – what would I do without all the love in blogland?  : )

I’m slowly getting back to normal over here.  (Why do I feel like so many of my posts lately are about getting back to normal, re-entry, resurfacing, healing, adjusting, dealing?)  I decided to take yet another day off from work and stayed home today to continue to let my body heal.  I got up this morning planning on heading into the office but barely made it past a shower and breakfast.  The physical ordeal of the weekend has left my body in such a state of shock that I think the healing process is going to take longer than I had originally thought.  I’m still very weak and moving around slowly, and although my stomach is handling regular meals, my energy level and tolerance for walking around, climbing stairs, or doing anything even remotely strenuous is essentially zero.  We’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

In other news, tomorrow night I still have plans to have dinner with New Year’s Lips.  God, remember that?  I don’t want to cancel because this will be our second attempt at dinner (after going out for drinks three weeks ago), and I’ve been looking forward to it… so I guess I’ll play it by ear.  If I’m feeling ok, I’ll go and just take it easy – NO alcohol.  If not, I’ll reschedule.  I still don’t know what he’s looking for out of this, but damn it, I want a kiss goodnight.  Is that so much to ask???  : )

Everything else in my real life has been on hold for the past few days, and I need to get things moving again.  I haven’t paid any bills, responded to emails from friends and family, made any progress on miscellaneous errands and other shit that needs to get done, etc.  You know, life in general.  Hot Marine has been MIA, thank god.  I really need to cleanse my life of that toxic addiction.  I have a big family thing going on this Sunday that I need to get ready for, and things at the office (from what I hear via various phone calls) are starting to explode and need to be corralled back into the herd.  Ahhhhh, life.  I’ve had a little hiatus and need to get back to things.  Let’s all cross our fingers that I wake up feeling like a normal human being tomorrow so I can get back to the daily grind (I almost can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth).

Goals for tomorrow include the following:

(1) Read all the unread emails in my personal and work inboxes (a daunting task in and of itself).
(2) Make sure I pay any bills that have been sitting on my kitchen table for too long.
(3) Fix anything at work that exploded in my absence (hopefully only a few little things).
(4) Avoid sharing the details of my absence with the entire office.
(5) Survive the day at work without having to use the hallway walls for support and without any emergency trips to the restroom.
(6) Go out for dinner with NYL, eat a bland/safe dinner, DON’T DRINK ANYTHING, and maybe, just *maybe*, get a friggin kiss goodnight.  It would be nice.  Hello, universe?  Are you listening?  Please, work with me on this one.  For the love of god, I want that kiss goodnight!

Perhaps I’ll report back on my progress later in the week.  : )

For now, I’m off to bed, where hopefully my exhausted body will continue to heal, and my fragile psyche will continue to toughen up a bit.  If only courage and confidence could be administered as easily as saline solution through an IV.