The Dateable Dork

First of all, I’m still confused as to whether last night actually qualifies as a “date,” but I’ll get to that later.  First, the details.  : )

As much as I hate to admit it, I was beyond excited to hang out with New Year’s Lips again, if for no other reason than the fact that my last date was hideous and NYL has always been a super-hot red-blooded MAN.  I mean, honestly, the guy is freaking HOT.  And last night he did not disappoint.  I walked into the bar to find him standing at the counter with a drink in his hand as he flashed me a big smile and a wave – aww, maybe he was excited to see me too?  He was taller than I remembered (although I knew he was pretty tall – maybe about 6′2″?), but other than that, he looked exactly the same as I remembered him – lean and fit and muscular with the long-ish hair that I used to love to run my fingers through.  His first words to me were, “Wow, you look great!”  Hahaha, thanks babe, I worked hard for that.  : )

I can’t tell you how weird but nice it was to see him again.  I mean, listen, meeting up with an ex is great, but don’t you always just wind up picturing them naked?  I swear, as I was looking at his face across from me all night, all I could think about was the image of that same face between my legs.  Is that awful or what?  Hahaha, I couldn’t help it!  I’m just a sleaze at heart, I guess.  Then again, I’ve always said that the sex with NYL was fantastic, so why shouldn’t I be reminded of his mad skillz now that we’re suddenly in the same room again?  Hahaha, oh well.

But anyway… we just kind of hung out at the bar for a few hours catching up about what we’ve both been up to in the last year and a half since we split up.  We had a few drinks and split dessert (I cheated on my WW diet – shhhh, don’t tell anyone), and despite my offer to split the bill, he paid for the whole thing, which was nice.  A coworker told me this morning that one dessert, two spoons, and him footing the bill automatically qualifies it as a date, but I’m not so sure… but more on that later.

Turns out NYL has had quite the exciting adventure in the past year or so, including some really great travel and a year-long relationship that must have ended in the last 3 months or so… which means that he had been dating this girl for pretty much the entire time since we split up.  Hmm.  I’m a little jealous of his dating success but, at the same time, I’m genuinely happy that he’s been happy.  It was weird – the conversation was really comfortable and mellow as if we were old friends and just picked up right where we left off.  Actually, the conversation was great and I thought the entire evening went really well, all things considered.  I didn’t bring up the STD situation (even though I really wanted to throw that back at him) but maybe it’s all water under the bridge at this point.  Who knows. 

So I think we both had a great time, despite the fact that the whole night was fairly platonic.  There was no touching whatsoever, other than a hug hello at the bar.  No footsie under the table, no arm touching or anything like that.  We did wind up sitting closer and closer together in a circular booth as the evening progressed, but we never got right up next to each other.  When we said goodnight, there was definitely that long awkward pause where I was waiting for him to make a move and he was trying to decide if I would be receptive, but he didn’t go in for a kiss, so we just hugged goodbye and said goodnight.  I was a little disappointed at the lack of making out but not really surprised considering the rather platonic tone of the evening.  BUT, he did say that he’d definitely like to hang out again, and I agreed, so I guess we’ll get together again one of these days?  I guess?  Not sure I see where (if anywhere) this is going, though.

One noteworthy thing about last night was that I think it was blatantly obvious to the both of us why we had started dating in the first place and also why we split up in the end.  There is definitely an underlying chemistry/attraction going on between us, and we actually get along very well, but NYL admitted that he always winds up getting bored in relationships and can never get emotionally attached to anyone, which is exactly what happened with us (and the latest girlfriend, according to his recap of events).  So what does that mean?  My take-away from the evening is that we might hang out a few times as pseudo-friends, and we might wind up hooking up at some point (after a long talk about the STD situation), but I honestly don’t think a relationship revival is in the cards, unless NYL suddenly changes his outlook completely, which is unlikely.  I just didn’t get that “I want do date you” vibe from him.  I got more of a “this is comfortable and low-key and fun, let’s do it again sometime” vibe.  Know what I mean?  And DUDE, why didn’t he kiss me?  I think that says a lot right there.

Honestly, I’d be very open to firing things back up with him, but the realist in me says that it’s just never going to work out.  So what now?  Do I just hang out with him and enjoy the casual friendship thing?  What if we hook up?  What if my old feelings for him start creeping back into the picture?  And what happens when he gets bored again?  I don’t know what to make of it.

Oh, another thing – we wound up having kind of a cute txt conversation after we both got home last night, confirming again that we should “definitely” (his word) hang out again and just making some stupid jokes about a few things we had talked about at the bar.  So, a good sign, perhaps?

As for whether last night could be classified as a “date,” I really think the jury is out.  Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?

Date-like occurrences:
- We both got dressed up
- One dessert, two spoons
- He paid for everything
- Plans to get together again soon

Non-date-like occurrences:
- No touching or kiss goodnight
- No sexual conversation at all
- Semi-platonic attitude on both ends
- Talking about other people we’ve been dating

Sooooo, what do you think?  Was that a date?  It kind of looks like date and smells like a date, but I have to admit, it didn’t really *feel* like a date.  Granted, my heart was pounding out my chest during the awkward pause when we said goodnight, but nothing happened, so what does that mean?  Ahhhh, men can be so confusing sometimes.  I still have no idea why he contacted me or what he’s hoping to get out of this, but I will say that I had a good time last night and am looking forward to seeing him again.  I’ll also reiterate that I don’t see a real relationship coming out of this (based on the vibe he was giving off last night), but I kind of hope I’m wrong, you know?  We’ll see.

If nothing else, it was nice to see a familiar face and catch up with him.  I never complain about spending a few hours in the presence of a hot, red-blooded man, especially one that I can picture naked down to the very last detail.  Mmmmmmmm… I’d love to hit that again!  But we’ll see.  One thing at a time.  : )

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on any future developments here.  I’m curious to see where it goes.