The Dateable Dork

Ok my dears, many of you rather astute readers have raised some concerns that getting involved with New Year’s Lips again miiiiiiiiight not be such a great idea.  Ummm…. yeah, I know.  You say that exes are exes for a reason – in this case, he never really felt all that strongly about me and eventually just kind of gave up.  Yeah, I remember that.  It kinda hurt.  You say that getting involved with a guy who gave me an STD and put me through an entire year of misery and medical shenanigans should be kicked in the balls instead of kissed outside my apartment door.  True, makes sense.  I hear ya.  You say that focusing my attention on something that has very little chance of ever working out is a waste of time and distracts me from finding something more meaningful.  Yeah, I totally agree. 

You’re all right, my dears!  I admit it!  I agree on all fronts.  But come on, seriously, don’t you know me well enough by now???  : )  I’m enjoying this, and I haven’t had anything decent going on in a loooooong-ass time.  Can we all agree on that?  Yes?  Oh good, thank you.  And can we all agree that NYL is an attractive, educated, well spoken, tall, funny, dorky, non-virgin who doesn’t live with his parents AND is actually interested in me?  And can we all agree that this mystical combination of circumstances hasn’t appeared in my life for a really fucking long time?  Yes?  YES???  Ok then.  Now that we’ve got that established, let us all shield our eyes as I forge ahead into familiar yet precarious territory, smiling from ear to ear with every perilous step.

Now, before I get to the details of last night, let’s establish a baseline, shall we?  I’ve gone ahead and made up a little list of things that are supposed to make you feel better about this situation.  As you read them, put on some soft music, imagine you’re sitting on a rainbow eating gingerbread cookies, and maybe wrap yourself in something cuddly and warm.  Work with me here, ok peeps?  : )

DD’s Chill-The-Fuck-Out Probably-True Statements About NYL:

(1) We’re not dating.  We went out for drinks ONCE three weeks ago and went out to dinner ONCE last night.  He’s not my new man, he’s not my boyfriend, he’s not anything.  Just an ex that I happen to be hanging out with again.  Tra la la… this is so easy and comforting, isn’t it?  : )

(2) We’re not having sex.  I repeat, there has been NO SEX since we’ve gotten back in touch.  We kissed last night and that was IT.  All pants have stayed on, and my sexy little panties haven’t made a debut in his presence.  La la la… moving right along… are we all skipping and eating lollipops and frolicking in the meadow? 

(3) IF it looks like things are moving toward the realm of anything even remotely sexual, I promise to do the following: (a) have a very blunt talk with him about the whole STD issue, and (b) absolutely require that he get a full STD workup and report back to me with the results.  I am willing to wait, and I am willing to get another workup myself.  If he’s not into it, fine.  No sex then.  If he disappears, fine.  I absolutely refuse to get anywhere near him without paperwork to back me up.  I will NOT go through that again.  I repeat: I will NOT go through that again.  Period.

(4) I firmly believe that NYL is a stand-up guy, and I’m 99% sure that he didn’t know he was infected when he gave me the STD.  So, I’m kinda finding it hard to hate him, especially when he gets all dressed up and takes me out to dinner.  La la la… thinking happy thoughts…

(5) I’m not looking at this as a potentially serious relationship.  I’m just enjoying spending time with a familiar guy who I happen to get along with fairly well and who happens to be friggin adorable.  Ok?  : )  La la la… these probably-true statements just keep getting truer and truer with each one… la la la… : )

So, do we feel all warm and fuzzy now?  Ah, I thought so.  See how good I am at making things alllll better???

Anyway, I barely left enough room in this post for the details of our cute little date last night!  Shame on me, really.  To be honest, there isn’t all that much to say about it except that I had a great time and am pretty sure he did too.  It was totally a date, sealed with a kiss goodnight at my apartment door.  After the kiss, I behaved like a total chick and said, “So, what is this?  What are we doing here?”  And he was all, “Don’t worry, I have no agenda.  We both had fun, right?  I’m just taking this as it is.  Are you ok with that?”  And I said I was (regardless of whether I really am or not).  And that was that.  Who cares if I just kissed my ex-non-boyfriend who gave me an STD and suddenly reappeared in my life after a year and a half?  Let’s just focus on the fact that he’s a cutie and I need a little cuteness in my life right now.  Call me crazy, call me desperate, call me what you will.  I don’t care.  I had fun last night, and let’s leave it at that.  Ok, my dears?  : )

P.S. – Warning – totally immature 5th-grade-girl moment in 3… 2… 1…

OMG NYL is so fucking adorable!!!!!!!!!  Ahhhh!!!!! 

Phew – I needed to get that out.  : )

P.P.S. – Did you ever hear that the number of smiley faces in a blog post is directly proportional to the level of denial of the author?  Oh good, I’ve never heard that either.

: )