The Dateable Dork

Dating (mis)adventures of an unexpectedly sexy New Yorker

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    I’m a 30-year-old (!!!), single, charming, and totally dorky girl taking on the ridiculous New York dating scene. When guys are surprised to see a sex kitten emerge from behind my dorky exterior, I just smile and reply, “Who ever said that dorks can’t be sexy?" [More]

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Halloween 2009 (aka, the most awesome night ever)

03 Nov 2009

Ok, so my Halloween costume this year was a “sexy referee,” and seriously, it was fucking AWESOME.

My fabulous Halloween costume!

I went out with some friends on Saturday night for some general drinking and debauchery, and dudes, I seriously had so much fun.  It totally rocked.  I fucking LOVE Halloween!  It’s like, all of a sudden, for one night only, anything and everything is socially acceptable.  You can wear whatever the hell you want and do whatever the hell you want, and the more outrageous it is, the better.  What’s not to love???  I think people’s true character comes out to play on Halloween, and I’m no exception.  This referee getup is totally me, from the semi-androgynous costume (I could never be a French maid or something that girly) to the idea of exerting a little control over my potential dance partners (the ref’s calls are final, after all), to the completely AWESOME whistle that I was blowing at anyone and everyone all night.  Hahaha, it was great!

I thought I would use the whistle to get the attention of cute boys who happened to walk my way (and I did use it for that purpose a few times), but mostly I wound up using it to “call a foul” for objectionable hand placement by skanky bar monkeys.  Listen boys, you can grab my ass in a dark crowded bar, but do NOT grab my boobs or crotch – seriously!  That crosses the line, my dears, especially if you’re a skeezeball whose face I can’t even see because you’re wearing a fucking MASK.  Geez, guys!

 And yes, I bought new Converse for this

Despite the skanky bar monkeys, however, it was a completely awesome night and a much-needed release from a long and crappy work week.  I drank and danced until 4:00 am with some good friends, and I met lots of interesting men including the entire cast of Sesame Street, Fred Flintstone, every superhero you can think of, Santa Claus, and Jesus.  I’m telling you, there’s always a Santa and a Jesus.  Halloween just wouldn’t be complete without them – haha.  I met an especially nice Batman, and one of my friends met a very gentlemanly Winnie the Pooh.  It was… a good time.  : )

The best part was all the compliments on my cute little outfit.  What can I say… what girl doesn’t love to be complimented?  My favorite was from a very young-looking street monkey who said, in the exact tone of voice you would expect: “Mmmm… Foot LOCK-er… somebody STOP me…”  I think I responded with a “Damn right!” or something to that effect.  It was fun.  I hardly ever get these compliments in real life, so I was soaking it all in.

Another thing I noticed is that when you’re in a dark, crowded, hot, sweaty, pulsating mass of horny 20-somethings on Halloween night, you can get away with pretty much anything (except grabbing my crotch, which will get you a sharp whistle blow and a firm push in the other direction).  It’s really liberating to be in this highly unusual state of being, and it feels great to just let it all go, know what I mean?  I always refer to the late-night club scene as “pure id” – you don’t think, just feel.  As Freud himself put it, the id is “a cauldron full of seething excitations,” which I think is especially true on Halloween.  Take it from me, if you didn’t go out partying this weekend, do yourself a favor and go next year.  It’ll be well worth it.  : )

I’m not sure what else to say about Saturday night except that my legs/knees are killing me from all the dancing, my crotch is sore from grinding into too many costumed bachelors, I’m still exhausted two days later, and it was all totally worth it.  I’m also super proud of myself for not doing anything stupid – my friends and I stuck together the whole time and all came home together, as it should be.  Super fun, and no need for antibiotics or the morning-after pill!

Hope you all had a fabulous Halloween!

17 Responses to “Halloween 2009 (aka, the most awesome night ever)”

  1. 1
    Michael from Texas Says:

    That outfit needed fishnets and high heels. But that pretty much goes for any outfit on a hot chick where she’s wearing a skirt and showing some leg.

  2. 2
    S. Says:

    The costume was perfect as is, imo.
    Halloween is my favorite holiday, so it was strange to be in Buenos Aires for it (the holiday isn’t theirs, but some people have started celebrating it for the fun of it. go them and their “sometimes american imperialism is super awesome” unconscious!
    I dressed up as a glam lamb. Lamb ears, pink hair, sunglasses, a tail. But, Michael from Texas will be relieved to know, there were brown fishnets and heeled boots involved, too.

  3. 3
    Claire Says:

    My god you look fantastic!!!!

  4. 4
    Ozgirl Says:

    Great costume!

    My first costume showed up Monday – oh well at least next years costume is sorted.

    And well done on not disgracing yourself! I managed too… apparently dumped in a bath to get hosed off!. My friends went above and beyond the call of duty that night!
    Ozgirl´s last blog ..Lost in Translation My ComLuv Profile

  5. 5
    The Dateable Dork Says:

    [Just had to get this in before work:]

    Michael – Geez, what’s up with all the complaints from male commenters lately? Anyway, the reason I didn’t get fishnets was because I had already spent way too much money on that costume as is, and there is NO WAY I would have worn high heels when I knew I’d be on my feet all night. Heels may look cute, but they can absolutely kill your feet when worn for long periods of time when standing up/dancing/etc. Plus my feet were being constantly stepped on, and my sneakers were soaked in miscellaneous bar fluids/dirt by the end of the night, so I stand by my decision there.

    Tough crowd!!!
    The Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Halloween 2009 (aka, the most awesome night ever) My ComLuv Profile

  6. 6
    the wolf biter Says:

    These boys don’t know what they’re talking about. Knee-high socks and Chucks > heels and fishnets.

    The Chucks are a good counterpoint to the slutty dress. Heels and fishnets would have put you over the edge into whore territory.
    the wolf biter´s last blog ..Attention to detail My ComLuv Profile

  7. 7
    Chris Says:

    DD, you can call a foul on me anytime ;)

  8. 8
    Gray Says:

    Omg, I felt the same way after going out dancing Friday night! The costumes, the people, the groping! Hell even my date picked me up with one hand and ended up tossing me against the stage while grinding against me from behind. I still have the bruises to prove what a great night it was. Halloween definitely was awesome this year!;)

  9. 9
    Honey Says:

    Jake and I went to the State Fair – silly rides, games, and greasy food. It was great!

    Love your outfit :-)
    Honey´s last blog ..How Safe is Too Safe? Or, Lance Blows Up Brazen Careerist My ComLuv Profile

  10. 10
    Andrew Says:

    Holy hell DD, that’s really sexy! Great legs! :D

    My Halloween consisted of trying to convince my friend that a party was worth going to, only to have him waffle back and forth for an hour, at which point I sent him home and watched “Mad Men” while I got drunk.
    Not the best Halloween ever, but it wasn’t as bad as some of the previous ones.

    Here’s hoping next year is better!

  11. 11
    Shannon Says:

    Man, I can’t even remember the last time I dressed up/did anything for Halloween, just another night. But if I did, it would probably put as much effort into it as Jim on The Office when he wrote “Book” across his face.

  12. 12
    comingupforair Says:

    you’d double attendances at sporting events if you were a real referee. i went as borat, i had the accent pretty well down by the end of the night

  13. 13
    Dee Says:

    I dressed up this year along with my girlie and we did a halloween party…like you partied til 4. Had a great time! I think heels and fishnets would have been over the top and taken away from the whole costume…You did just fine!

  14. 14
    The Dateable Dork Says:

    All – Thanks for sharing your Halloween festivities – hopefully you all had a great time! : )

    Also, thanks for your kind words about my referee costume, and sorry for getting a little snippy about the fishnets/heels. Sometimes I forget that this blog is kind of a fantasy world where it’s easy to forget that there’s a real/normal girl behind the scenes, wearing sneakers to parties so she doesn’t have blisters at work on Monday morning. Maybe I should have just cropped the photo to preserve the fantasy. : )
    The Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Halloween 2009 (aka, the most awesome night ever) My ComLuv Profile

  15. 15
    Vince Says:

    DD, you’ve been a bad bad girl ;-)

  16. 16
    Mitch Says:

    Hey there! I LOVE the costume and you definately look great! How goes the Grad School application process?
    Mitch´s last blog ..Random Photo Wednesday # 11 (on Thursday) – Halloween Edition My ComLuv Profile

  17. 17
    The Dateable Dork Says:

    Vince – Ooooooh, I like the sound of that. : )

    Mitch – Thanks!! The application process is moving along slowly but surely… I’m still super excited about it, just busy with work these days!
    The Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Bachelors beware: confessions of an education snob My ComLuv Profile

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