The Dateable Dork

Holy shit, this has been one HELL of a week.  Apparently turning 30 is the key to unlocking the universe or something, because crap has been flying in all directions lately.  WTF???  Here’s how it went down:

As I touched on earlier in the week, I essentially got an unofficial acceptance to grad school on Tuesday.  This is very exciting not only because I feel like this going-back-to-school thing is going to actually work out now, but because this school was the hardest one to get into (out of the 4 schools that I applied to) and represents an opportunity with a professor that I have been drooling over for a while now.  In essence, I am still flipping out over this and have let out more than my fair share of screams and happy dances.  It’s been completely unreal.  Out of all the craziness that went down this week, this was by far the best.  : )

Throughout all this school excitement, work has been crazy all week.  I worked late almost every night and even had to drive out to middle-of-nowhere New Jersey on Thursday and Friday.  I’ve gone out to NJ for work before, and it’s usually not a big deal (just have to get up a little earlier in the morning), but Thursday morning we had a bit of a snowstorm and the roads were absolutely horrible.  There was no salt, no sand, and no plowing.  People were sliding all over the place.  I witnessed a bunch of accidents and almost got into one myself.  Finally, after I was sufficiently terrified, I decided to turn around and come back to New York, figuring that if I had to be on the road and stuck in horrible traffic, at least I wanted to be heading back in the right direction.  I’ve lived in the northeast my entire life and know how to drive in the snow, but the situation on Thursday morning was pretty ridiculous.  As if I didn’t have enough work-related stress this week!

So I get back to my office on Thursday and am having a crazy hectic afternoon, when all of a sudden a fucking atomic bomb goes off in my inbox.  This was the worst possible timing, I swear.  The email was from…. are you ready for this?… the five-year BF. 

… Let us all take a minute to let that sink in …

Yes, the five-year BF who I contacted last spring in a completely delusional attempt to start something up again.  The five-year BF who I will always, always have feelings for because, honestly, he was the first (and only) man I’ve ever truly loved.  The five-year BF who, as I had found out earlier in the week via Facebook, is now engaged to someone else.  Yeah.  I know.  How random that I had stumbled upon him on Facebook on Tues or Wed, and now on Thursday an email from him is burning a hole in my inbox.  WTF, universe???  (God, I hate Facebook.)

I was actually ok with finding out that he’s engaged.  Surprisingly ok, actually.  We haven’t been in touch, and we broke up over 4 years ago at this point, and I can honestly say that I’m happy for him.  He’s a good guy and I truly want the best for him.  Of course it stung a bit, but overall I was handling it very well.  But then… that email.  He gave me his cell number and wants me to call him so we can “catch up.”  What, he wants to tell me that he’s getting married?  Do I really want to hear it coming from that all-too-familiar voice?  Ugh, I don’t know if I can handle talking to him without instantly bursting into tears.  I haven’t yet decided what to do about that email… so for now it’s been festering in my inbox.  I’ll deal with it when I figure out what (if anything) I want to do.  Needless to say, the rest of my hectic afternoon was completely unproductive.

Then late yesterday evening, as I was driving back from NJ after another busy day, guess who called me?  DAVID, that motherfucker!  Damn, first the five-year BF randomly contacts me after who knows how long, and now David is reappearing after that disaster of a dinner ~4 months ago?  What the fuck?!?!?!?!??????  This is too much for a girl to handle!  I did NOT pick up the phone but almost had a heart attack when I saw him on the caller ID, which was really bad timing considering that I was already exhausted and falling asleep at the wheel – the last thing I needed was another distraction, especially such a slimy one. 

I angrily threw my phone on the passenger seat and didn’t listen to the voicemail until I finally got back to my apartment.  First of all, I was shocked that he even left a message considering that calling late on a Friday night is obviously a booty call (and really, the only reason that he ever gets in touch with me in the first place).  The voicemail was so weird, I swear.  He said that he wanted to check in, get back in touch, etc.  He hoped that the grad school thing was working out well for me, and — so typical — he told me that I can “call him anytime for anything at all.”  WTF does that mean?  He always used to pull out that kind of shit, and I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now.  Whatever.  I deleted the message and that’s the end of the story.

Moving right along… tonight I’m meeting up with NYL for what I hope will be a fun, relaxing night of drinking, live music, and smokin’ hot sex.  I could really use a drama-free night right about now, so I hope this works out well.  As much as everyone on this blog loves to hate NYL (hahaha, don’t deny it, peeps), I actually have fun with him and he carries sub-zero drama compared to everyone else in my life these days.  We had a great time last time, and I’m looking forward to Round 2.

Why does it feel like Return of the Exes around here?  There was that crazy call from the NMP a few weeks ago, and this week I’ve been in contact with with five-year BF, stupid David, and NYL tonight.  Who’s next?  My old high school boyfriend?????  God, I fucking hope not!  (BTW, I found out through Facebook that he got married!  My only reaction: ewwwwww.  Hahaha.)  I need a 12-step program to permanently extricate myself from all this past drama, seriously.

Well… except for NYL because I totally need to hit that tonight.  : )

Anyway, that’s the story.  Can you believe all this shit????  I slept for 12 hours last night because I was so completely exhausted and so overwhelmed by everything that went down this week.  I swear, if something else pops up in the next few weeks, I’m going to check myself into a spa or something and not come out until summer.  Actually, I think I need a drink.