The NMP is being a total douche
Remember when the new male prospect called me the other day saying that he had a vibrator for me and wanted to come over and hook up? That phone call was a total disaster, to put it mildly. I’ve actually spoken with him twice more since then, and it’s gotten to the point where I am actually getting angry and personally offended. This is fucking ridiculous. He’s being a total douche.
I told him that we were NOT going to be hooking up anymore, period. Things are too complicated in my head, and I’m trying to rid my life of senseless drama and focus on moving forward (school, moving, etc.). [For those keeping track, the last time I even saw the NMP -- and the last time we hooked up -- was June 2008 when we had that oral sex extravaganza (old blog, no link). Remember that? Hello - that was like a million years ago!] Now that he’s suddenly single again, he’s fixated on getting one of those famous DD blowjobs that he used to go crazy for, and he just won’t let up.
And get this: Since I actually value his friendship (he was the ONLY person I talked to about the STD during all those awful months), I really would like to meet him for lunch and catch up in person one of these days. You know, like normal human beings. Like adults. But he actually REFUSES to meet me because, according to him, he couldn’t control himself and would wind up sticking his hand down my pants in the middle of the restaurant. WTF???????? Last time I checked, this guy was 32 years old, not 15. This is not only extremely annoying (grow up already) and extremely frustrating (why can’t I meet a friend for lunch, damn it?), but I’m genuinely offended that he is being such a baby about this and will NOT have lunch with me like a normal person.Â
It got to the point where this was really bothering me for a few days, and I called him and laid it all out on the table: either grow up and meet me during the day, or leave me the hell alone. After a long and quite ridiculous conversation, it was clear that we weren’t getting anywhere. I told him that I was going to give up and leave the ball in his court. IF he ever grows up, I would still like to have lunch one day, but it’s up to him to make that decision. I’m throwing my hands up in the air on this one.
This is kind of upsetting to me, to be perfectly honest. But he’s being such a douchebag, and there is obviously nothing I can do to force him to be an adult.
One interesting thing that came up during our last conversation (I think it was Tuesday night): He mentioned that he was disappointed that I had essentially “rejected him.” Ha! HA HA HA! I rejected him? Really??? I very bluntly reminded him that, way back in the day when we actually attempted to date each other, he was the only who harshly rejected me. (What I didn’t tell him was that it hurt like hell and I still carry these sad little lingering feelings for him.) So he says, “What, is this payback or something?” No, it’s not, but I just wanted to point out that the shoe is on the other foot now, and one of us took our rejection like an adult, and the other one is taking it like an absolute toddler. How fucking ironic, seriously.
Anyway, that’s the story. I don’t know what happens now. Do I temporarily lose my friend/confidant (as fucked up as our relationship may be) until he grows a pair and can restrain himself? Should I just give up on him for good? Oh, I probably should, but despite everything, he’s actually been a good friend to me over the years. He listens when I need to talk, and I’ve done the same for him. Life is complicated sometimes. In this case, it’s completely ridiculous.
To all douchebags out there, I say unto you: sack up and be a fucking MAN already. Give me a fucking break.
I like what he’s doing to you. The simple fact that you care enough to even write this post is proof enough that it’s working. He either wants to move ahead with a relationship with you or move on, and denying you platonic attention is the action required for both. You were the POD, the pussy on deck. Now you’re trying to pretend that you and him were ever friends? I think you’re the one who needs to grow up and face the realities of life rather than complaining about them.
February 5th, 2010 at 12:14 amyou’ve had a few interesting weeks missy, i find the same thing happens, when one ex comes out of the woodwork, they all do (usually just when im starting a new relationship…but anyway)!
im guessing ye have spoken LOTS since june 08 when ye last hooked up, so just tell him its that platonic relationship or nothing
do whatever feels best for you, the reality is you’re gonna be moving in a few months and will most likely be leaving all this baggage far behind when you reach pastures new, if someone isn’t helping you enjoy your life right now, ditch them and move on, life is too short to be wasting on people that dont deserve your time
February 5th, 2010 at 8:33 amI think you should tell him that the reason you can’t hook up with him right now is that you are currently hooking up with someone else (who, if NMP cares, is keeping things drama-free), the sex is great, and after your STD scare (which he knows all about) you aren’t willing to sleep with two guys concurrently, even with condoms.
All of which is actually true but which has the bonus effect of frustrating him beyond belief.
Or, if you are tired of playing the game, you could just accept that he’s not even man enough to be your friend and delete him from your cell phone.
February 5th, 2010 at 10:59 amHoney´s last blog ..How To Get A Totally Jacked Chest That Women Will Love
Umm, I think he doesn’t want to be “friends” with you and spend that time eating lunch (doing something platonic). He just wants to get laid, and he isn’t really your friend. That thing about not being able to control himself in public…yeah, that’s a lame excuse you should’ve seen through. Of course he can control himself! He just doesn’t want to meet you for lunch, he wants to get it on!
Don’t waste your time spelling it all out for him. He knows perfectly well already, he’s just playing w/ you. Show him w/ action. Just ignore him. That’s the end of it.
February 5th, 2010 at 1:34 pmI am with Honey on this. He is being so immature and an emotional blackmailer that you should frustrate him even more but telling him he has no game and you are hooking up with another. Friend do not behave like he is behaving. It is like he does not value like a person at all beyond your sexual abilities which is very annoying!
And regarding what Hammer said: I am actually surprised. Just because a woman hooks up with a man a few times does this mean she should continue hooking up with him?? I am sorry I do not understand this-obviously-totally male point of view.
February 5th, 2010 at 8:26 pmOf course the NMP just wants to hook up! Don’t worry, I’m completely aware of the situation. He was sexually frustrated in the last few months of his relationship, and he hasn’t gotten laid since they broke up. He’s horny, and I’m an “easy in” since we already have a history. I totally called him out on all of this over the phone, and he totally admits to it! It’s all out on the table.
Whatever. I temporarily give up on the situation. Clearly he’s being a douche, and it’s aggravating and offensive.
And Honey – clearly you are much better at deleting cell phone numbers than I am! Hitting that delete button is so… permanent. I won’t even stick my EZ-Pass on my car windshield (after living in New York for practically my entire life) because it’s just too permanent for me to handle!
(You all know I’m a little crazy, right?) : )
February 6th, 2010 at 11:37 pmThe Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Today turned out to be totally awesome!
I don’t know if I always actually delete the numbers (though most of the time I do). I have a bunch of numbers in my phone that I don’t delete because I can’t remember who they are, and maybe they’re important (like an ex coworker or Jake’s friends or something).
February 7th, 2010 at 2:25 pmHoney´s last blog ..How To Get A Totally Jacked Chest That Women Will Love
You know, Honey, you actually inspired me to delete a few numbers the other day. My criterion was that if I couldn’t remember who the person was, they got deleted. Sadly, you-know-who is still festering in there… one day I’ll gather up the guts for that one.
February 8th, 2010 at 9:26 pmThe Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Today turned out to be totally awesome!
Voldemort?
February 8th, 2010 at 9:49 pmWoo-hoo, deletion! I’m proud of you, DD!
February 11th, 2010 at 11:30 amHoney´s last blog ..Spanking for Beginners (Guest Post)
I think it’s definitely cool that you have Voldemort’s number in your cell phone.
February 11th, 2010 at 3:22 pmOk, I really don’t get the Voldemort reference. I haven’t read the Harry Potter books. Translation please?
February 11th, 2010 at 5:59 pmThe Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Warm revisited
P.S. – Mr_Right – It’s totally cool with me if you don’t want to use a real email address when commenting, but each time you use a new address, your comment gets held for moderation. Just a friendly suggestion to pick one and stick with it. : )
February 11th, 2010 at 6:01 pmThe Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Warm revisited
Gotcha. Diferent machines and all that.
You-Know-Who is the name of Voldemort, Harry Potter’s nemesis throughout the seven books. He’s the big, bad, evil villain.
And I can’t believe you haven’t read the books. They’re VERY good! I highly recommend them.
February 11th, 2010 at 8:37 pmWell, it seems that I picked the right term, then. “Big, bad, evil villain” is the perfect term for my you-know-who!
February 11th, 2010 at 8:51 pmThe Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Warm revisited
Yeah, there are other parallels too, DD. Voldemort is supposed to be dead, and he lives in hiding, but he keeps reappearing at just the perfect moment to do maximum damage to the Wizarding World (and, sometimes, the muggle world too).
Are you saying you haven’t even seen the movies?!?!
February 12th, 2010 at 12:32 pmHoney´s last blog ..Moving, Meetup, and Other Updates
Yeah no kidding…what kind of dork are you, anyway?
February 13th, 2010 at 2:29 amSorry peeps, I’m really not into Harry Potter! I think I saw the first 1-2 movies years ago (when they were in the theaters), and they didn’t really do it for me, so I gave up. Have no interest in reading the books. I don’t get what the big fascination is!
February 13th, 2010 at 10:47 amThe Dateable Dork´s last blog ..Warm revisited
That’s a shame, the books are about 100 times better than the movies.
February 14th, 2010 at 8:00 am