The Dateable Dork

Apparently, the appropriate response is to flip out and hang up on him.  At least, that’s what I did.  Ha!  Here’s how it went down:

So I happen to find myself chatting with the NMP over the phone really late one night last week, like after midnight on a Tuesday or something.  I was telling him about my upcoming grad school campus visits, and he was telling me about his upcoming job search, and everything was going just fine.  I was ziplocking my mini shampoo bottles and planning out my interview outfits, and he was straightening up his apartment or something.  Business as usual, right?  Or so I thought…

All of a sudden – like mid-sentence as I’m talking to him – I start hearing these very strange-sounding noises coming from the other end of phone.   I swear, I thought he was either crying or had just seriously hurt himself or something.  I started panicking and was all, “OMG are you ok over there???”  No response, just more noises.  And then they started to sound like moans.  Finally it hit me, and I was like,  “NMP, what the hell are you doing over there???”  But of course I knew, and he was totally jerking off over the phone.  WTF????

So I flipped out, started screaming at him, and hung up before he could finish and spew cell phone cum all over my ear.

I guess I didn’t have to hang up on him, but it just caught me so off guard that I just went with my gut reaction and got the hell out of that situation!  Which is so ironic because the idea of phone sex had just recently come up between us (don’t judge me, I’m only human!), and he was adamantly against it (acting like the adult in the conversation for the first time ever), and now I find him jerking off and moaning while I’m trying to pick out which pants make me look like a smart cookie for my campus visits.  Geez, NMP!!!!  WTF?

Sometimes I am just so flabbergasted by the male species that my only response is to throw my phone across the room in utter exasperation. 

But after I got over it, looking back, it was actually kind of hot.  Kind of.  I’m still tossing around this phone sex idea after all…  : )

P.S. – This post was indirectly brought to you by Lance, who is a total sweetheart (and super hot sex machine) and recommended me as a sex blog worth reading, and so I figured I should actually post something sex-related.  Oh, and please check out his post and the other great sex bloggers on his list!  Lots of naughty little blogs that always get my juices flowing.  : )