The Dateable Dork

Random shit that has gone down in the past few days: – It’s fucking HOT AS HELL in here in the northeast.  DAMN.  To top things off, I’m convinced that it’s actually hotter in my apartment than it is outside.  Actually, to be more specific, my apartment has turned into a sauna.  I think I’ve [...]

I’m going to make this short and sweet: I’ve been a devoted LOST fan for the past 6 years.  I was expecting greatness from the finale on Sunday.  I did not receive it.  I am confused, frustrated, and disappointed by the ending.  WTF, LOST???  Did Sawyer even take his shirt off in the finale?  I mean [...]

I know I still owe you the details from my night with the Texas guy (and they’re coming, don’t worry), but I had to share this with you first… I just kicked the NMP out of my apartment, after he drove 2 hours to get here.  We were supposed to hang out, catch up, go [...]

OH MY GOD.  So I wound up meeting up with the 45-year-old bar monkey last night, and oh dear lord, did we have the most amazing sex ever.  This guy is the prime example of sexual perfection – experienced, suave, enthusiastic, ravenous.  I have a new-found appreciation for older men.  I mean, GOD DAMN!!!  I [...]

Totally hypothetical question: If you meet a totally hot guy at a bar who just so happens to be 15 years older than you, and if you accidentally on purpose wind up making out with this guy, and if this guy turns out to be a surprisingly damn good kisser, and if you exchange numbers [...]

So tonight I attempted to recover from my hideously jerky behavior on Saturday night, and let me tell ya, this stuff is easier said than done.  I put in a good faith effort, and we’ll see if it floats.  I apologized, I explained myself, and I’ve extended the proverbial olive branch.  I’ve been feeling absolutely awful [...]

What a long, crazy weekend this was!  I wanted to sit down and write a decent post about it yesterday at some point, but it never quite happened – hopefully tonight though.  For now, suffice it to say that I had a lot of fun on Friday night with that hot 45-year-old (who wound up [...]

So I went out clubbing with some girlfriends tonight and wound up making out with an extremely young-looking 45-YEAR-OLD man.  Easily the oldest guy, by FAR, I’ve ever kissed, but definitely not the oldest looking.  Hahahahaha.  He wound up being a little creepy at the end, but he was harmless and I had fun.  I [...]

This online dating thing has become more depressing than ever.  Ugh!  The number of guys I’ve contacted is now up around 80, and my rate of return is still a big fat ZERO.  Ouch, people!  OUCH!!!  Please, somebody, for the love of god, tell me that I’m not the only one this happens to.  I [...]

The situation: DD and some random cute-looking dude in the online dating dumpster. Day 1: Cute-looking dude emails DD.  Awesome!  This guy is actually cute and sounds like a normal, intelligent person.  A glimmer of hope is born. Day 2: DD emails cute-looking dude back with a cute, witty response.  Later that day, cute-looking dude [...]