So I happen to find myself chatting with the NMP over the phone really late one night last week, like after midnight on a Tuesday or something.  I was telling him about my upcoming grad school campus visits, and he was telling me about his upcoming job search, and everything was going just fine.  I was ziplocking my mini shampoo bottles and planning out my interview outfits, and he was straightening up his apartment or something.  Business as usual, right?  Or so I thought…

All of a sudden – like mid-sentence as I’m talking to him – I start hearing these very strange-sounding noises coming from the other end of phone.   I swear, I thought he was either crying or had just seriously hurt himself or something.  I started panicking and was all, “OMG are you ok over there???”  No response, just more noises.  And then they started to sound like moans.  Finally it hit me, and I was like,  “NMP, what the hell are you doing over there???”  But of course I knew, and he was totally jerking off over the phone.  WTF????

So I flipped out, started screaming at him, and hung up before he could finish and spew cell phone cum all over my ear.

I guess I didn’t have to hang up on him, but it just caught me so off guard that I just went with my gut reaction and got the hell out of that situation!  Which is so ironic because the idea of phone sex had just recently come up between us (don’t judge me, I’m only human!), and he was adamantly against it (acting like the adult in the conversation for the first time ever), and now I find him jerking off and moaning while I’m trying to pick out which pants make me look like a smart cookie for my campus visits.  Geez, NMP!!!!  WTF?

Sometimes I am just so flabbergasted by the male species that my only response is to throw my phone across the room in utter exasperation. 

But after I got over it, looking back, it was actually kind of hot.  Kind of.  I’m still tossing around this phone sex idea after all…  : )

P.S. – This post was indirectly brought to you by Lance, who is a total sweetheart (and super hot sex machine) and recommended me as a sex blog worth reading, and so I figured I should actually post something sex-related.  Oh, and please check out his post and the other great sex bloggers on his list!  Lots of naughty little blogs that always get my juices flowing.  : )

Ummm… yeah.  About that.  The fact that I might actually be willing to give that up for an opportunity here in the snowy northeast says A LOT about just how much I loved this place.  As in, I am completely in love.  I love everything about it.  Love it, love it, LOVE IT!  Seriously, I should have done this years ago.  Not to mention the fact that the campus visits this past weekend cemented the fact that I’ve been slowly wasting away in my cube for the past few years doing monkey work.  I mean, I knew this already, but WOW did I underestimate the amazing work that I could be doing in grad school.  Granted, a PhD is not all rainbows and gumdrops, but at least it’ll be challenging work, which will be a big improvement.  And the opportunities are unreal!  It’s total insanity!

And here’s another thing: Remember the five-year BF?  The one whose Facebook page recently announced that he’s getting married?  The break-up all those years ago that stemmed from the fact that we couldn’t agree on which city to live in?  I wanted to stay in New York for my career and my family, and he wanted to move elsewhere for his career and his family, and neither one of us was willing to give up our plans for the other person?  Remember this?  Well, it just so happens that this amazing school that I absolutely fell in love with is in the same damn city that I refused to move to all those years ago.  And no, the irony is not lost on me.  Funny how these things work out.

So I still have more schools to visit, but I have to admit that I’m leaning pretty heavily toward my little slice of snowy heaven here in the northeast.  To say that I’m excited about this opportunity is a massive understatement.  I’m now 100% sure that I’ll be going back to school this fall, and I’m also 100% sure that going back to school is the right move for me, both professionally and personally.  It feels so good to be able to say that.

Oh, and did I mention all the hot, nerdy guys that I came across during the two visits?????  Hello???  Where have you been all my life??????  I swear, I saw more eligible bachelors during the last seven days than I have in probably the last year.  No joke.  This bodes very well for my grad student sex life.  : ) 

Assuming I have time for a sex life, ahem.

I’ll be away from the blog for a few days but will probably be checking back in this weekend.  Hopefully I’ll come back with a few photos of palm trees and my pasty white toes in the ocean, not to mention a good idea of whether this particular school has real potential as my future home.  I am just SO curious as to how this will all turn out, you know?  And to be perfectly honest, I’m just so excited to get out of the northeast!  A rare occurrence for me, as travel doesn’t really fit into my always-too-tight budget. 

As Chandler would say, could I BE any more excited about this upcoming trip???  : )

There was once a time when I could tell you everything, when you were my BFF, when I would tell you things that I didn’t tell anyone else, and when I could write freely and openly and really spill my guts to you.  Remember those days?  Ah yes, I remember them fondly.  But blog, what happened to us?  Why aren’t you my BFF anymore?  I have to admit, my dear blog, that I have some interesting information that I’ve been mulling over for a few days now, and I’ve been holding out on you all this time.  Yes, you read that right.  I’ve betrayed you, and I just don’t think I feel comfortable putting my guts out on the table with you anymore.  What a sad, sad situation this has become.

Is it because someone in my real life barged into our little world that time?  Is it because I’ve grown jaded and vulnerable and can’t bear to cut open that scar tissue anymore?  What is it, blog?  What happened to our great relationship?

It’s only the posts that leave me the most exposed, the most naked, the most raw and imperfect that I can’t bear to share with you anymore.  The posts that truly define me as a human being.  The posts that I started up this blog to write about in the first place.  The best posts, really.  The posts that help me deal with things, that help me get things out of my head, that free me from that internal chaos that stews and festers and drives me crazy. 

I don’t know what to tell you, my dear blog.  There’s something missing between us now.  I hate that it’s missing, and I don’t know how to fix it.  I miss you.  I want you back.  I don’t where to go from here.

Love always,

~DD

My plan for tomorrow is to re-join civilization and get my butt back to the office.  As for the rest of today, I’m hanging out on the couch with an upset stomach and a cup of tea.  Maybe tonight I’ll actually be able to eat a decent meal for dinner.  Wish me luck.

Let’s see… how many more days before I can quit my job and sign on the dotted line???  : )

So exciting!!!!

Also, this weekend I witnessed my 4-year-old nephew transform from an ordinary kid into a Michael Jackson dance machine, thanks to YouTube and a little crotch-grabbing encouragement from his father (my brother) – ha.  It was hilarious, actually.  All that dancing and all those old music videos stuck with me, I guess, because tonight I found myself studying the “Smooth Criminal” video and practicing the dance moves in my underwear in front of my bedroom mirror.  HAHAHA!!!  I’m having so much fun with this!  I really need one of those white hats from the video to pull off some of the moves because I find myself reaching up for my non-existent hat, and it looks kind of ridiculous.  Which I suppose implies that the rest of the dancing does NOT look ridiculous, which I’m pretty sure isn’t true.  I think I need a lot more practicing before I bust out these moves the next time I’m at a club, but let the official record show that I’ve already done the moonwalk at a club and am not opposed to doing it again.

Not sure what’s gotten into me this weekend, but I kinda like it.  : )

You’ve been struck by… a smoooooooth crim-i-nal.

Ok, just had to get that out.  : )

I made it very short and sweet – just a sentence or two.  I said that I heard that he was getting married, offered him my congratulations, told him I was going back to school, and said that I hoped he and his family are all doing well.  That’s it.  I feel so much better after hitting send on that email, not so much because of anything to do with his message in particular, but more because it gives me some closure on this issue that has been slowing eating away at me for the last few weeks.  I hate having the ball in my court, so I bounced it right back over to him.  Phew. 

Who knows what, if anything, will happen from here, but it is what it is.  Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, you know?  This one just happened to knock me on my ass, big time.

I don’t know exactly why this is happening, or exactly when the shift occurred, but I have a few ideas.  For one, sex has been a pretty rare event these days, as has any physical contact with men in general since I pretty much gave up on dating after that awful troll date, so I’ve been really enjoying the interaction with NYL – an attractive, completely non-troll-like, red-blooded man.  Also, I’m able to experience a decent level of intimacy with him because we’ve dated in the past, and we’re comfortable together, and we’ve actually been having fun hanging out lately.  And of course, since we’d actually be dating right now if I had my say about things, I admit that sex with him satisfies a little bit of my delusional fantasy – when he looks into my eyes, I kinda sorta pretend that there’s more there than there actually is.  Oh, don’t look at me like that.  : )

Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m lonely, and it’s winter, and it’s cold and windy and crappy out, and sex with NYL is all warm and cuddly and comforting.  And I like it when he looks at me with those kid-in-a-candy-store eyes.  And I like it when he cuddles up to me afterward.  And, I don’t know, it’s just nice to be that close to someone, even if it’s not 100% real.  You know?

But that’s the thing about sex – it fucks everything up.  You get screwed, and then you get screwed again with the aftermath.  Things are getting all swirly and confused in my head.  I can feel myself attaching to him emotionally, which, OF COURSE, is exactly what I know I should NOT be doing.  Of course.  Of COURSE this is happening.  But I actually kinda like it, and right now it’s fulfilling a spot in my life that I’m deliberately leaving open in my last few months in this crazy city.  And even if it’s all in my head, I’m really getting something worthwhile out of the intimacy. 

It’s strange to say this, but it’s making me feel somewhat human again.  And honestly, that’s not a bad thing.

**********

P.S. – After reading this post about how I’m getting emotionally attached, here’s another realization: this isn’t very much of “change” for me after all, is it? 

P.P.S. – I’m super emotional today.  I saw two polar bears nuzzle up against each other on tv and started crying.  It’s all hormones, I swear.  : )

As NYL and I were cooking a big pot of curry last night, chopping and stirring and “accidentally” bumping into each other in the kitchen, I was warm.

As we cuddled up on the couch to eat dinner, watch the new episode of LOST, and watch the episode of Jerry Springer in which NYL was in the audience and made the funniest/most inappropriate comment ever, I was warm.

As he put his arm around me, kissed me, and pulled me in, I was warm.

As we found ourselves buried under the covers, naked, intertwined, and devouring each other, I was warm.  And as NYL pushed me down on the bed, smacked my ass, and pounded into me like a fucking MAN, I was warm.  (Actually, I was *really* warm here.)

As we soaked in the hot tub, magically protected from the outdoor chill, I was warm.  And as I rested up against NYL and let the stress of the week melt away in the hot, bubbly water, I was so incredibly nice and warm.

As we found ourselves back in bed, hot and sweaty and playful and intense all over again, I was really, really warm.

And finally, as we curled up in bed, tired and content, my forehead resting against his, our legs tangled up together, his arm around me pressing my body into his, I was warm.  And as his cats curled up next to us, their furry little bodies radiating heat on a cold winter night, I was warm.  And as I fell asleep, buried under his huge comforter, cuddled up against him, listening to the purring of the cats, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so wonderfully warm.

There is something to be said for being warm.  It’s comforting and reassuring, peaceful and secure.  It’s a magical barrier against the chill outside, the falling snow, the harsh wind.  There is something to be said for the warmth of another human being.  It’s so much more natural than being alone – I think people were meant to be together, if only to share the comfort of the warmth that another person can offer – physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

There is something to be said for being warm.  And last night, I was so, so warm.  : )

1.  Grad school campus visits!  Yes, my dears, you read that right.  Pasty white DD is heading off to sunny CA to soak up the sunshine and meet with fellow dorks.  To be fair, I’m also planning a trip here in the northeast.  It just so happens that my warm weather and cold weather trips will be back-to-back, which will be pretty tiring but hopefully well worth it.  The trips are taking place in early March, so this week I’m busy booking airfare and hotels and making arrangements with professors, etc.  If all goes according to plan, I’ll have at least one more trip in the works, potentially in April.  Can’t wait to touch down in CA and bust out my short-sleeved blouses!

2.  NYL and I are cooking dinner together after work tomorrow night.  How freaking cute is this??  We had originally planned to catch a movie, but somehow it turned into cooking dinner at his place.  The choice of what to make is up to me, so I picked up a few ingredients after work today to whip up something that looks really delish in my low-fat vegetarian cookbook (which is saying a lot, all things considered).  I hate to admit it (because we all know this thing with NYL isn’t going anywhere), but I’m totally looking forward to this cooking thing and think it’ll be a lot of fun.  Also, long-time readers may recall that NYL has a hot tub.  What are the chances that my sweet little ass will be soaking in that tub by the end of the night, hmmmm???  : )

All good things ahead, which is what I like to hear.  In fact, I may even have a minute or two to breathe at work tomorrow.  Now wouldn’t *that* be nice.  Phew.

Awesome thing #1: My unofficial acceptance to grad school #1 is now OFFICIAL.  Just received word from the professor this afternoon.  And get this!  My acceptance comes with a full university fellowship (awesome!), a spot in this professor’s exactly-the-type-of-work-I-want-to-do research group (awesome!), and an invitation to visit in March with all travel expenses taken care of (awesome!).  I mean, seriously, how much more awesome can this possibly get?????  I am FLOORED by this news and am so completely humbled to have been officially offered at spot in this professor’s group.  I mean, damn, this is pure craziness.  What’s next, winning lotto numbers??  : )

Awesome thing #2: Got an email from NYL earlier today asking me out to the movies.  Aww, how cute.  : )  I have to admit, I’m getting the warm-fuzzies for NYL all over again.  He told me that after we hung out last weekend, he was walking around with a big smile on his face all day.  I mean, hello?  Cuteness, right???  Oh dear lord… somebody slap be back into reality!

Awesome thing #3: I had some killer sushi for dinner.  No better way to end a great day than with some great food, right?  YUM. 

I’m off to continue my happy dance around my apartment!  I already called my mom!  We are all super excited!  I can’t seem to adequately convey how exciting this, even by using a ton of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!  Hahahaha.

I told him that we were NOT going to be hooking up anymore, period.  Things are too complicated in my head, and I’m trying to rid my life of senseless drama and focus on moving forward (school, moving, etc.).  [For those keeping track, the last time I even saw the NMP -- and the last time we hooked up -- was June 2008 when we had that oral sex extravaganza (old blog, no link).  Remember that?  Hello - that was like a million years ago!]  Now that he’s suddenly single again, he’s fixated on getting one of those famous DD blowjobs that he used to go crazy for, and he just won’t let up.

And get this: Since I actually value his friendship (he was the ONLY person I talked to about the STD during all those awful months), I really would like to meet him for lunch and catch up in person one of these days.  You know, like normal human beings.  Like adults.  But he actually REFUSES to meet me because, according to him, he couldn’t control himself and would wind up sticking his hand down my pants in the middle of the restaurant.  WTF????????  Last time I checked, this guy was 32 years old, not 15.  This is not only extremely annoying (grow up already) and extremely frustrating (why can’t I meet a friend for lunch, damn it?), but I’m genuinely offended that he is being such a baby about this and will NOT have lunch with me like a normal person. 

It got to the point where this was really bothering me for a few days, and I called him and laid it all out on the table: either grow up and meet me during the day, or leave me the hell alone.  After a long and quite ridiculous conversation, it was clear that we weren’t getting anywhere.  I told him that I was going to give up and leave the ball in his court.  IF he ever grows up, I would still like to have lunch one day, but it’s up to him to make that decision.  I’m throwing my hands up in the air on this one.

This is kind of upsetting to me, to be perfectly honest.  But he’s being such a douchebag, and there is obviously nothing I can do to force him to be an adult.

One interesting thing that came up during our last conversation (I think it was Tuesday night): He mentioned that he was disappointed that I had essentially “rejected him.”  Ha!  HA HA HA!  I rejected him?  Really???  I very bluntly reminded him that, way back in the day when we actually attempted to date each other, he was the only who harshly rejected me.  (What I didn’t tell him was that it hurt like hell and I still carry these sad little lingering feelings for him.)  So he says, “What, is this payback or something?”  No, it’s not, but I just wanted to point out that the shoe is on the other foot now, and one of us took our rejection like an adult, and the other one is taking it like an absolute toddler.  How fucking ironic, seriously.

Anyway, that’s the story.  I don’t know what happens now.  Do I temporarily lose my friend/confidant (as fucked up as our relationship may be) until he grows a pair and can restrain himself?  Should I just give up on him for good?  Oh, I probably should, but despite everything,  he’s actually been a good friend to me over the years.  He listens when I need to talk, and I’ve done the same for him.  Life is complicated sometimes.  In this case, it’s completely ridiculous.

To all douchebags out there, I say unto you: sack up and be a fucking MAN already.  Give me a fucking break.

We wound up bar hopping for most of the night – grabbing a beer here, a glass of wine there, and finally winding up at a very crowded bar with a live band where we had this crazy, grinding, completely sensual hook-up/dance-fest in the middle of a packed dance floor.  It was probably the sexiest hour or two of my life.  Wow.  I was fairly drunk (thanks to all the beer and wine), and I just remember all the blurry flashing lights, and NYL grinding up against me, and me sticking my tongue down his throat and my hand down his pants, and him lifting up my dress in the middle of the crowd, and the amazing looks passed back and forth between us, and the deliciously dirty things whispered (or probably more like screamed, considering how loud it was in there) in my ear and in his.  The entire place was hot and sweaty and pulsating, and it was as if nothing else mattered except the beat of the music and the desire to blend my body and his into one big hot sweaty pulsating mass of sexual desire.  So fucking hot, I’m telling you.

At one point I said something like, “I fucking want you,” and his eyes lit up and we booked it out of there and back to his place where we had what can only be described as a unbelievable marathon of drunken awesomeness.  The sex was fantastic, and there was just so much of it.  This is one of the things I just love about this guy – he can go on forever, and he’s so fucking good.  Since we were both feeling kind of dirty, there was a lot of doggy style and screaming commands at each other and slapping each other around a bit.  Earlier in the night I was talking about how much I loved to be spanked, and he got really into it back at his place.  How awesome is that???  Not many guys are willing to do this, in my experience.  I just loved it. 

All through the night there was great chemistry between us, and I really had so much fun just hanging out and chatting with him, all the sex and grinding aside.  We talked about all sorts of stuff – work and family and all the things we’d love to do one day, but I admit that toward the end of the night the conversation got more and more sexual… which was great.  We had this amazing, completely open and honest conversation about kink and sex toys and nasty stuff we’ve tried (and have been meaning to try), and it just made me want him all that much more.  So hot, I’m telling you!

At one point we were sitting at a bar, drinking some great wine, talking about being aggressive during sex and taking control, and about how I like a guy to throw me up against the wall and tell me what to do.  So he looks at me with this completely serious face and says, “kiss me.”  I look around at all the people surrounding us, and look back at him, and he says it again – “kiss me.”  So I lean over and kiss him, and I swear it the most sensual, body-shaking kiss I’ve had in a while.  So amazingly sexy, right at the bar in front of everyone, with him telling me what to do and me obeying like the naughty girl that I am. 

At the end of the night, after all was said and done, things actually got kind of cute, and we had a bit of a pillow fight in his bed.  How cute.  We cuddled up and went to sleep, and I left in the morning.  What I like about these random nights with NYL is that he always insists that I spend the night, and we always fall asleep in each other’s arms.  It’s sweet, unlike the fuck-buddy sex that I used to have with David where I could barely get him to stay for 5 minutes after it was over.  NYL is a good guy, and I have fun with him, and that night on Saturday was just so sexy and such a great release from the stressful week leading up to it.

I know how I feel about NYL, and I know he doesn’t feel the same way, but I’ll take these once-in-a-while crazy nights over not seeing him at all.  I know that’s kind of sad, but I’m ok with it for now.  Hell, I’m moving in a few months, and I’m enjoying this while it lasts.  Plus, I’m enjoying this whole getting-laid thing, which has been notoriously absent in my life these days. 

For now, I’ve got a big smile on my face and I’m loving all the little flashes of memories from that night that somehow made their way through the alcohol-haze.  I swear, it’s nights like these that make me so glad that I’m single.  : )

And yes, I absolutely refuse to be humble about this.  Go me!!!!

I was so happy about this one that I was actually crying on my way home from work today.  Super excited.  I am all smiles tonight.

As I touched on earlier in the week, I essentially got an unofficial acceptance to grad school on Tuesday.  This is very exciting not only because I feel like this going-back-to-school thing is going to actually work out now, but because this school was the hardest one to get into (out of the 4 schools that I applied to) and represents an opportunity with a professor that I have been drooling over for a while now.  In essence, I am still flipping out over this and have let out more than my fair share of screams and happy dances.  It’s been completely unreal.  Out of all the craziness that went down this week, this was by far the best.  : )

Throughout all this school excitement, work has been crazy all week.  I worked late almost every night and even had to drive out to middle-of-nowhere New Jersey on Thursday and Friday.  I’ve gone out to NJ for work before, and it’s usually not a big deal (just have to get up a little earlier in the morning), but Thursday morning we had a bit of a snowstorm and the roads were absolutely horrible.  There was no salt, no sand, and no plowing.  People were sliding all over the place.  I witnessed a bunch of accidents and almost got into one myself.  Finally, after I was sufficiently terrified, I decided to turn around and come back to New York, figuring that if I had to be on the road and stuck in horrible traffic, at least I wanted to be heading back in the right direction.  I’ve lived in the northeast my entire life and know how to drive in the snow, but the situation on Thursday morning was pretty ridiculous.  As if I didn’t have enough work-related stress this week!

So I get back to my office on Thursday and am having a crazy hectic afternoon, when all of a sudden a fucking atomic bomb goes off in my inbox.  This was the worst possible timing, I swear.  The email was from…. are you ready for this?… the five-year BF. 

… Let us all take a minute to let that sink in …

Yes, the five-year BF who I contacted last spring in a completely delusional attempt to start something up again.  The five-year BF who I will always, always have feelings for because, honestly, he was the first (and only) man I’ve ever truly loved.  The five-year BF who, as I had found out earlier in the week via Facebook, is now engaged to someone else.  Yeah.  I know.  How random that I had stumbled upon him on Facebook on Tues or Wed, and now on Thursday an email from him is burning a hole in my inbox.  WTF, universe???  (God, I hate Facebook.)

I was actually ok with finding out that he’s engaged.  Surprisingly ok, actually.  We haven’t been in touch, and we broke up over 4 years ago at this point, and I can honestly say that I’m happy for him.  He’s a good guy and I truly want the best for him.  Of course it stung a bit, but overall I was handling it very well.  But then… that email.  He gave me his cell number and wants me to call him so we can “catch up.”  What, he wants to tell me that he’s getting married?  Do I really want to hear it coming from that all-too-familiar voice?  Ugh, I don’t know if I can handle talking to him without instantly bursting into tears.  I haven’t yet decided what to do about that email… so for now it’s been festering in my inbox.  I’ll deal with it when I figure out what (if anything) I want to do.  Needless to say, the rest of my hectic afternoon was completely unproductive.

Then late yesterday evening, as I was driving back from NJ after another busy day, guess who called me?  DAVID, that motherfucker!  Damn, first the five-year BF randomly contacts me after who knows how long, and now David is reappearing after that disaster of a dinner ~4 months ago?  What the fuck?!?!?!?!??????  This is too much for a girl to handle!  I did NOT pick up the phone but almost had a heart attack when I saw him on the caller ID, which was really bad timing considering that I was already exhausted and falling asleep at the wheel – the last thing I needed was another distraction, especially such a slimy one. 

I angrily threw my phone on the passenger seat and didn’t listen to the voicemail until I finally got back to my apartment.  First of all, I was shocked that he even left a message considering that calling late on a Friday night is obviously a booty call (and really, the only reason that he ever gets in touch with me in the first place).  The voicemail was so weird, I swear.  He said that he wanted to check in, get back in touch, etc.  He hoped that the grad school thing was working out well for me, and — so typical — he told me that I can “call him anytime for anything at all.”  WTF does that mean?  He always used to pull out that kind of shit, and I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now.  Whatever.  I deleted the message and that’s the end of the story.

Moving right along… tonight I’m meeting up with NYL for what I hope will be a fun, relaxing night of drinking, live music, and smokin’ hot sex.  I could really use a drama-free night right about now, so I hope this works out well.  As much as everyone on this blog loves to hate NYL (hahaha, don’t deny it, peeps), I actually have fun with him and he carries sub-zero drama compared to everyone else in my life these days.  We had a great time last time, and I’m looking forward to Round 2.

Why does it feel like Return of the Exes around here?  There was that crazy call from the NMP a few weeks ago, and this week I’ve been in contact with with five-year BF, stupid David, and NYL tonight.  Who’s next?  My old high school boyfriend?????  God, I fucking hope not!  (BTW, I found out through Facebook that he got married!  My only reaction: ewwwwww.  Hahaha.)  I need a 12-step program to permanently extricate myself from all this past drama, seriously.

Well… except for NYL because I totally need to hit that tonight.  : )

Anyway, that’s the story.  Can you believe all this shit????  I slept for 12 hours last night because I was so completely exhausted and so overwhelmed by everything that went down this week.  I swear, if something else pops up in the next few weeks, I’m going to check myself into a spa or something and not come out until summer.  Actually, I think I need a drink.

I’m getting together with NYL on Saturday night – game plan TBD.  I’m kind of surprised that I managed to squeeze a Saturday night out of this guy, considering that I was relegated to Tues and Wed nights a few months ago.  In fact, HE was the one who suggested Saturday.  Well shit then!  Oh NYL, why must you be so adorable?  I am a hopeless mush, I swear.

Although I hate to even bring this up, I was talking with a good friend over the weekend about my ridiculously awful dating record lately, and the topic of idiot David came up.  I said that I wish I had never met him in the first place, which would have saved me a ton of aggravation, but she mentioned that perhaps it was something I had to go through and that, if nothing else, it was a good learning experience.  I guess I can see it that way.  It just makes me so mad that I wasted so much energy on such a douchebag.  For like, two years.  Damn.

And one more thing – I just finished watching the first season of True Blood, and I am totally in love with Bill.  I can only imagine the amazing orgasms I would have while he sucked my blood… OH BABY.  : )  (No plot spoilers in the comments, please!)

This is super exciting because, as I said last time, this professor is someone who I would really love to work with at a university that I would really love to attend.  I’d have to iron out a few kinks if this were to actually work out, but I’ll cross that bridge if/when I come to it.  For now, I’m excited that all signs seem to be pointing toward an acceptance and funding offer, although (of course) I’m still waiting for the official decision to come in, which may take several more weeks.  But holy shit!  This is a good sign.  The adrenaline is pumping.  There is a big smile on my face.  I’m so glad I’m doing this.

Oh, and can I just say?  All those years of being a smartypants are TOTALLY paying off here.  : )

Holy fucking shit, I’m 30 years old today!!!  : )  Can you believe it?  Little DD is a big, bad, 30-year-old ADULT???  I’m still shaking my head in disbelief.  I’m also in quite a bit of disbelief at what an AWESOME 30th birthday bash I had last night, complete with the amazing paella you see above and all my friends and family gathered to celebrate.  There was a ton of food, an unending stream of wine, lots of very loud laughter, gifts, dancing, and debauchery of all sorts.  The perfect way to ring in the big day!  I feel so loved, aww.  : )

There is a lot I could say about turning 30, but I’m sure everyone goes through pretty much the same thing, right?  I’ll sum it up by saying that I really do feel like I did all the crazy things you’re supposed to do in your 20s, I hear that your 30s are even better, and I’m especially excited about what this year will bring in terms of grad school, moving, etc.  I think 30 will be a great year, and it really does feel just about right.  I think I’m ready to be a real adult… kind of.  : )

Thanks to everyone for the very thoughtful birthday wishes – I love you guys!!!

NYL and I are still exchanging FB messages and are tying to plan a little get together for next week.  I get all excited when the little “inbox (1)” light pops on.  It’s nauseating, really.  : )  I can’t help it!

I’m off to start prepping for the big 30th birthday bash this weekend.  Lots of apartment cleaning to do.  I also picked up a cute little outfit for my par-tay on Saturday night.  Can’t wait!

New Year’s Lips and I are now facebook friends.  I purposefully didn’t “friend” anyone I had ever dated or slept with to avoid those little embarrassing moments.  But this morning I got a friend request from NYL with a nice little message attached, and I couldn’t help but accept.  It was too cute!  Who am I to refuse such a request?  So I clicked “confirm” (or whatever that button says), and instantly my worlds collided.  And I felt that awkward brick sink down into my stomach.  And all of a sudden facebook got really weird.  (Ok, it was weird before, but now it’s REALLY weird.)  I mean, should I be worried about this, or am I totally overreacting?

NYL and my mom haven’t officially collided on FB just yet, but can you imagine?  Ahhhhh! 

And BTW, where’s the button on facebook that says “Now that we’re friends, wanna fuck?”  : )

(And how do I block my mom from finding out that I pressed that button?)

Edited to add: Grad school update – I think I just got an unofficial email from a professor that I would LOVE to work with at a university that I would LOVE to attend.  I also think I am hyperventilating.  And shaking.  And screaming.  Holy shit.  HOLY SHIT!!!

I’ve got a story for you, and you’re not going to like it.

I’ll make this short and sweet.  With bullets!  Here’s how it went down:

• The new male prospect called me out of the blue last night.
• Apparently he and his GF broke up after a year and a half.
• I do a little happy dance in my head and pat myself on the back for waiting out that relationship for so long.  (Don’t look at me like that.)
• He wants to catch up.
• Tonight.
• With a bottle of wine.
• In my apartment.
• I say absolutely not.  (This is where you’re supposed to be proud of me, blog.)
• He says that he bought me a birthday present and wants to give it to me.
• For about 5 seconds, I am flattered that he remembered and actually bought me something.
• Then he confesses that it’s a vibrator.
• And he wants to come over so that we can break it in.
• I say absolutely not.
• He says that he’s had a sexual fantasy about me.
• And that he’s been jerking off thinking about me.
• And that he remembers all the times we’ve hooked up in the past and how it’s been “really good.”
• I start laughing at how absolutely ridiculous this conversation is getting.
• And still insist that there is no WAY he’s coming over to my apartment.
• We get into a semi-argument about how I don’t want to hook up with him anymore because it always ends the same way and I shut that door a long time ago and want to keep it that way.
• Finally we hang up.  I am speechless.  WTF just happened there???
• I wake up this morning to two text messages that he had sent last night, one of which contained the word “cock.”
• Sigh.

Let the record show that (a) the NMP is the same hornball that he’s always been; and (b) I totally stood my ground.  Someone please remind me – WHY was I waiting out that relationship?  I can’t seem to think of any good reason…

But I sure am curious to see him again.  (I told you that you weren’t going to like this.)

Love and kisses,

~DD

Hopefully I’ll be well enough to re-join humanity by Monday.  In the meantime, I’ve certainly learned my lesson: next year, I’m getting a flu shot.

I just wish those grad school notification letters would come in already, so at least I’ll know where I stand and what I can afford to do (or not afford to do) with the job situation.  I feel like a lame duck, biding my time until I can officially submit my resignation.  IF I can submit my resignation.  I have to get in somewhere, after all.  Ahhhhhh!  I’m so nervous about the whole situation.  What if I don’t get in anywhere?  What then?  Stay at a job that’s driving me crazy?  Or quit and move to the west coast anyway, and find a new job?  Doing what – something new, or the same old BS?  Oh, the waiting is just killing me!

Letters aren’t expected until at least February, so I have a solid 1-2 months of waiting to go.  [insert Jeopardy music...]

Edited to add: HOLY SHIT!  Speak of the devil… I just received an email from a professor saying that she read my application and is interesting in chatting.  Nothing official, but a damn good sign!  Yessssssssss!!!!!!  : )

Ohhhhhhh, I am so happy.  Tonight I made meatloaf (with eggs! and breadcrumbs! and cream of mushroom soup!), and it was fucking GOOD.  Over the weekend I made cornbread, and it was GOOD.  I’ve been eating clam chowder for lunch, and it is sooooo GOOD.  And I can have a hot chocolate if it’s a cold night.  And I can have a banana nut muffin for breakfast.  And I can drink apple juice instead of water.  And god damn it, if I want a snack, I can fucking have one.  Dude, Weight Watchers is awesome and it totally works and I’m still a huge fan, but really, I just need a break.  And I’m taking one.  Ahhhhhhhh, food really does make me happy.  : )

The downside: my smaller size pants are getting really tight, I’m getting a little belly fat back, and yes, I’m getting a few more zits on my face (grrrrrr, when am I ever going to grow out of that?), but for now it’s all totally worth it.  In fact, I think I want a hot chocolate RIGHT NOW.  At 10:00 at night.  With milk.

Super-skinny be dammed.  This girl is hungry!!!

Anyway… as usual, I’d like to start the year off with a little year-in-review, a quick look back at my dating misadventures in 2009 to assess the damage and pick up the pieces before starting the new year off anew.  My 2009 wrap-up should be pretty short and sweet considering that my dating/sex life jumped off the deep end this year, never to be seen again.  And good riddance!  I’m still completely jaded and think dating can kiss my sweet little ass.  I’ve SO had it with that bullshit.  HAD it, I say!  What’s the fucking point????  Maybe after I move out of New York I’ll feel differently about things.  That’s what I’m hoping, actually.  I need to get the hell out of here and start over.  Can’t wait!  (BTW, no news yet on the grad school front – notification letters won’t start coming in until February – the waiting is killing me.  KILLING me!)

So, let’s dive right into the year-in-review, shall we?  Hold on to your seats, my dears, because as you know, this is a bumpy ride…

January

I crossed the line with the new male prospect by blatantly flirting with him over the phone in an explicitly sexual conversation, even though he had a serious girlfriend.  It was kind of awesome, and although I felt guilty afterward about the evident emotional cheating, I would probably do it again if the situation presented itself.  My relationship with NMP is so weird, I swear.

I finally got the medical “all-clear” after many months of STD drama.

February

Having a clean bill of health, I gently dipped my toes back into the sordid world of online dating, got all excited about a “good on paper” guy, and then got drastically bummed out when he disappeared off the face of the earth like an immature child.  Geez, that was frustrating as hell.

March

The saga of Chicago Boy.  We went on exactly 3 dates, I spent the night at his place but never slept with him, and he totally pulled a David and refused to call me like a normal human being.  His final reapperance and simultaneous disappearance wound up being one of the most-clicked posts on this site all year.  What a jerk.  (He was cute, though, I admit that much.)

Oh, and I documented a little sexual fantasy involving two of my favorite, totally hot, drool-inducing male bloggers.  Oh baby.

April

One night I had a crazy dream that I got back together with my five-year BF, then was actually crazy enough to contact him in real life under the delusion that I could actually make my little dream come true.  What a psycho I was!  Oh well, nothing ever came of it, so hopefully I didn’t embarass myself too much there.

I swore off David (aka Hot Marine) “forever” (hahahahaha) after he ditched me after tennis one night.

After too many rejections in a row, I got pretty dejected and actually scared myself with how depressed I was feeling.  So glad I didn’t “accidentally” drive my car into a tree or anything, seriously.  Thanks again to all my lovely blog readers for helping me climb back out of the hole.

I started Weight Watchers, which was probably the best thing I’ve done for myself all year.  I eventually wound up losing 25 pounds and 2 dress sizes – go me!  : )

May

While the Weight Watchers excitement played out, the STD ordeal officially came to a much-needed conclusion after my vaginal reconstructive procedure.  Good as new, finally.

June

I ran my first official race in Central Park, and I had a great visit with my BFF after not seeing her for almost 2 years.  All good things!

And then things started to go downhill – David and I finally slept together again after he had resurfaced back in March.  I proceeded to get all tangled up in his slimy web (for the millionth time) and had no idea what I was in for in the months that followed…

July

Motherfucker.  I slept with David AGAIN.  It hit me pretty hard emotionally, and I wrote a really raw/vulnerable post about it, sent it to him, and — shockingly — got a “heartfelt” (or so I thought) apology from him for being such a jackass in the past.  Too bad it was two years late.

I ventured back into online dating and went on an absolutely ridiculous troll date.  Enough said.  This was the final nail in the coffin and has left me completely jaded ever since! 

August

To my great surprise, New Year’s Lips contacted me out of the blue after having absolutely no contact with him after we had “broken up” (if you can even call it that) 1.5 years earlier.  We met for a drink and caught up, and then wound up going out on a surprisingly nice “real date.”  I was intrigued…

In the meantime, I made the HUGE life-changing decision to go back to grad school (well, to apply at least), which is something that had been brewing for several years.  This made me excited beyond belief.  I’m still pretty damn excited, actually.  : )

Oh, and in my 25-pounds-lighter state, my alcohol tolerance dropped down to zero and I blacked out one night and spent the next day in the hospital with an IV in my arm.  Oops.

September

NYL and I went on our third “date” (???), during which we had the incredibly awkward STD conversation, which essentially ended our little romp down memory lane.

I took a mini-vacation and went down to DC to visit my BFF – a really fun trip.

In an absolutely shocking and unheard of move, David resurfaced and called me– ON THE PHONE — to wish me luck on the GRE.  Once again, I became tangled in his web of charm and douchebaggery.  Little did I know at the time, but this little incident was the lead-up to the major bombshell that was about to be dropped…

But before all that would be unraveled, I spent two weeks studying like a crazy woman and took the GRE – my first big step toward grad school bliss.  Go me!

October

I finally (FINALLY!) saw David for what he truly was – an absolute monster.  You’ll be happy to know that there has been absolutely no contact with him since that night, and I truly hope that I never hear from him again.  I am appalled at my own behavior more than his and can’t believe that I put up with it for so long.

November

This blog took a turn toward the nasty when I got busted for educational snobbery and attempted to plead my case to the masses.  Enough said – don’t want to rehash that any more than needed.

NYL and I went out for a very nice, very platonic dinner.  Hmm… were we friends now?

After dragging my heels a bit, I submitted all my grad school applications and breathed a huge sigh of relief.  My fate is in the hands of the admissions committees now – *gulp!*

December

I experienced what was arguably the most exciting night of my adult life – I saw Hugh Jackman in person in a Broadway show.  Ohhhhhhhh, how star-struck I was after that night.  Ohhhhhhh what I would give to be a bead of sweat on Hugh’s gorgeous, chiseled body.  Needless to say, I’m still not over it.  : )

And finally, after much ado over the past several months, NYL and I finally slept together after a fantastically fun night of drinking, dancing, and making out at a bar.  Say what you will — but I had had a damn good time.

Final thoughts on 2009

Despite my apparent lack of dating, sex, or anything even remotely resembling a healthy relationship with a man this past year, I firmly believe that 2009 was one hell of a good year on almost all other fronts.  Between Weight Watchers, applying to grad school, and a slew of other self-improvement projects, I think I made a substantial amount of progress on taking back control of my life and steering it in the right direction.  I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me in 2010.  Pending notification letters that should arrive in Feb/March, I might just wind up quitting my job, moving to the west coast, and immersing myself in academia, warm weather, and a whole brand spanking new life.  Woo-hoo!  : )

Here’s wishing you all a healthy and happy new year, filled with joy, love, peace, adventure, and — of course — lots of great sex that you’ll tell me all about!  Rock on, my dears!

Christmas with the fam was great, but DAMN did I do a hell of a lot of cooking in the few days leading up to it.  So much cooking, in fact, that I’ve been eating take-out pretty much all the time since last Friday because I just can’t stand the thought of ever cooking again.  EVER.  The food was great, but I wore myself out!

Christmas goodies received: lots of good stuff for my kitchen that I picked out myself a few weeks earlier.  I had been holding out for YEARS on buying this stuff because I wanted to get all these types of goodies at my bridal shower, but god damn it, I’m almost 30, so screw that!  The time has come for me to have a properly equipped kitchen, married or not.  Shit, I didn’t even have basic things like a wisk or a muffin pan.  I even got a crockpot!  Yesssss!!!

Quality time with my nephews was, as usual, the best part of the holidays.  I got lots of hugs and played lots of games (including air hockey – awesome) and generally had a fabulous time.

Problem: I’ve been sick as a dog for over a week now.  Last Monday night I started feeling like shit, and things have gotten progressively worse everyday since then.  When I realized that I was getting worse instead of better after 5-6 days, I started worrying and went to the doctor to get checked out.  I was having nightmares about H1N1 or something.  Turns out I have a nasty sinus infection.  Eww.  And to top things off, I woke up this morning with pinkeye!  (Seriously, pinkeye is disgusting.)  I’ve had just about every symptom I can think of, except nausea (thank god for small favors).  I feel like shit, and I’ve spent almost all of my two-week vacation from work half-dead on my couch.  Is THIS what I saved up my vacation days all year for???  Really?????

Kind of a bummer.  I had a handful of exciting vacation-y plans that have all been canceled due to my death plague, but I’m hoping to at least squeeze in a few of them this coming weekend, assuming I can function as a normal human being by then.

The good news: While on house arrest (due to not being able to get off the couch AND being crazy contagious), I’ve actually managed to complete some small home improvement projects that should have been done years ago.  For example, today I dragged myself out of the apartment to get a space heater, which has been making me a very warm and happy DD all day.  I also moved my bed around to make some space for a nightstand.  Can you believe I’ve never had a real nightstand after all these years???  Ok, technically my new “nightstand” is a cheap-o closet organizer that I got on sale for $15, but it has a little drawer and I put my sex paraphernalia in it, so that qualifies as a nightstand in my book.  : )

No plans for New Year’s Eve due to my shitty illness and the fact that most of my girlfriends are away visiting their families.  Was kind of bummed out about this, but now that my apartment is all nice and warm, I’m kind of looking forward to a quiet night at home with some hot chocolate and a little project to keep me busy.

Something funny: I wound up losing my voice for several days (Christmas included), and my parents must have video of the kids opening presents with me attempting to squeak out a few words in the background.  Damn, I must have sounded like a zombie or something!  Why did I even bother trying to talk???  When I got back home, I kept running to the grocery store for soup and tylenol and getting up to the counter and forgetting that I couldn’t talk.  Many cashiers looked at me like I was crazy.  It was great.  I swear.

Finally, as for that night with NYL, I have a few more things to say about it, but I’ll save that for another post.  Long story short: no harm, no foul.  Moving on.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all!  Can’t believe it’s almost 2010.  HOLY SHIT, Batman.

Two friends and I had plans to have dinner at one of my favorite new tapas restaurants and then head over to a bar for some live music/drinks/partying/etc.  Dinner was great (sooooo delicious), and we made it over to the bar as planned.  Because we just so happened to be right near New Year’s Lips’ place (and yes, I can see your eyes rolling), I had invited him to come out and meet me for a drink, and lo and behold, he was actually up for it.  So we get to the bar, have a drink or two, and then NYL shows up and winds up hanging out with my friends and me for the entire night. 

Let me tell you: it was awesome.

Not only did NYL fit right in with my little group of friends, but he actually busted out some pretty damn good dance moves and we all wound up having a blast.  Many drinks were drunk and many booties were shaken.  About halfway through the night NYL and I started getting pretty touchy-feely on the dance floor, and when he leaned in for a kiss, I gladly took him up on the offer.  DAMN.  NYL is so hilarious – he was all “you were always a good kisser… wow…” and meanwhile I’m just about DYING from what an amazing kiss that was.  Does he really not know how good he is?  Anyway, we pretty much made out for the rest of the night, which was totally fine with my friends because they just happened to be making out with other random guys at the bar.  Win-win-win, if you ask me.  A little while later he asked if I wanted to go back to his place, and I was like, “ummm… YES.”  Score.

But the night was far from over.  It turned out that my two friends who can usually drink me under the table wound up getting REALLY sick at the end of the night.  And by “really sick” I mean “holy shit, that was more puke than I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”  It was awful.  I felt so bad, and I was actually getting pretty worried and was on the verge of calling for an ambulance because they must have been getting so ridiculously dehydrated.  Not to mention the fact that all four of us (my two sick friends AND me and NYL) were covered in puke by this point.  I must have apologized to NYL about a dozen times, but he was surprisingly a really good sport about the whole thing and even helped me pry my friends out of the bathroom and got our coats and all that good stuff.  What a nice guy, right?  I was starting to remember why I liked him in the first place.

As we’re leaving the bar, NYL looks at me, looks at my friends, looks at my puke-covered boots, and says “well, as usual for us, I guess we’ll have to reschedule for another night, huh?”  Well, you know me… I wasn’t about to pass up the invitation to go back to his place… so I asked if he would be up for waiting up for me while I took my friends home and put them to bed, and he was all “absolutely” and that was that.

Getting my friends home was quite the adventure.  It was a non-stop puke-fest the entire time.  There were many stops along the way.  Recall that it was fucking FREEZING on Friday night in New York, which made the trip home all the more agonizing.  Man, what a trip.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m more than happy to take care of these girls and love them to death (hell, they took great care of me when I got sick a few months ago) – but the whole night was just so hilarious and such a ridiculous disaster.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried!  Also, it was pretty awful to see my friends so sick – I had definitely never seen either of them in such a bad state before.  My heart was aching.  I hope I never see them like that again.  Anyway, I finally managed to get them both home safe and sound, and by that time it was about 3:15 in the morning.  I called NYL to see if he was still up, and he was, and so I made my way back over to his place.

He had left the door unlocked for me, and when I walked in, I could tell he had fallen asleep on the couch.  Aww, how cute.  I gently brushed the backs of my fingers against his arm, he smiled at me as he woke up, and he kissed me hello (thinking back, he always did make a point of kissing hello and goodbye – very cute).  By this point it was almost 4 in the morning, and I was completely exhausted and covered in puke, and I kind of just collapsed on the couch with the granola bar and cup of tea that magically appeared in my hands from his kitchen.  I curled up in his arms and drank my tea, and we laughed about what a huge disaster the night had turned out to be, but how it was still a pretty fucking fun time, what with all the dancing (so fun!) and making out and rocking out to the band (which was actually pretty good).

Eventually we sleepily dragged ourselves back to his bedroom, cuddled up under his comforter (it was freezing, and I was wearing a sleeveless dress), and had what I can confidently say was some damn good sex.  Sex with NYL had always been good – very good, actually – and this time was no different.  Well, I guess the difference this time was that it was kind of scandalous and casual, but at the same time, it was actually pretty sweet.  I was reminded of the following: (a) NYL is one hot piece of ass – I think he’s fucking gorgeous; (b) NYL’s tongue can do magical things; and (c) he is absolutely adorable and was smiling at me like a kid in a candy store the entire time.  I was also reminded that he has seriously intense orgasms for a guy and can really fuck the daylights out of me.  Did I mention that it was damn good sex???

Afterward I brushed my teeth and curled up with him in his bed and we finally drifted off to sleep somewhere around 5:30 in the morning.  We cuddled up all night, and his cats found their way into bed with us, and I got that snuggly warm feeling that I had always loved when I had spent the night at his place in the past.  Surrounded by warmth on a cold night, not to mention that the majority of the warmth was coming from a hot naked man.  Dude, it was awesome.  We woke up late, cuddled and chatted and made out for a few hours in bed, and I finally dragged myself out of there around noon or so.  He kissed me goodbye with a big smile on his face, and I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled back at him, and he mentioned that we should do this again sometime.  I agreed, and that was that.

I seriously had so much fun with him that night (even just rocking out with him on the dance floor – so fun!), which on one hand is great and is keeping me all warm and fuzzy as I write this a few days later, but on the other hand is so frustrating because I know full well that my strange little interactions with him are doomed.  Regardless, the night was quite a roller coaster and, if nothing else, will make a good story to tell down the road.  I just can’t help but be charmed by his adorable smile, his hilarious dance moves, his willingness to help my friends while they were essentially puking on him, and the way he was so sweet with me back at his place.  *Sigh.*

It was a good night.  : )

I could finally type comfortably because my fingers weren’t stiff.  I didn’t have to keep drinking tea all day and going to the bathroom every hour.  I didn’t have to wear my scarf and coat in the office, which really restricts my movement on super-cold days.  I didn’t even need the super-heavy wool sweaters that I wear to the office every single day of the year, even on 90+ degree summer days.

Do you know what this means???  Not only will I be happier and more comfortable, not only will I not run out of the office at 5:00 just to get out of the freezer, but DUDE, I can actually wear nice clothes to work now!!!!!  HOLY SHIT!  This opens up unlimited possibilities for me now, and I am just so excited at the thought!  Every single day (all year long) for the past five years, I’ve worn wool pants with a tank top, long-sleeved shirt, and heavy wool sweater to work.  Every single day.  All year long.  I had no choice – I was fucking FREEZING every day. 

But now?  Assuming the temperature in the office today is what it’s like in that building everyday?  GOD, now I can wear skirts!  And nice blouses!  SILK blouses!  And suits!  And – HOLY SHIT – maybe I can even wear short sleeves!  And sweaters with short sleeves!  And things with ruffles!  And sexy stockings!  And HOLY SHIT I AM HEMMORAGING AT THE POSSIBLITIES!

This may all sound very silly – it’s just a matter of a few degrees after all – but WOW did this make an absolutely huge difference in my day today.  It’s amazing how these things work.  Now granted, the rest of my coworkers were “too warm” all day, so I think efforts will be made to cool it down a bit in the long-term, but I have a feeling that I’ll still be better off than in my last office (i.e., the igloo).  We’ll see how it goes.  If I can go a week or two without being cold, I might just have to buy an entire new work wardrobe over the holiday break.  Now THAT would be exciting.  : )

Between this, my trip to the MOMA yesterday, and my ongoing Hugh Jackman love-haze, I’m just bursting with excitement!!!

Oh hello there.  Long time no post!  I’m sure you’ve all noticed that I haven’t quite been feeling the bloggy mood lately, but life marches on outside of this little site.  Here’s what’s been a-poppin’ lately:

I’m still not over my little encounter with Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig the other night.  I snapped the above photo of the stage door, since photography was prohibited inside the theater (too bad!).  Picture Hugh Jackman saying “fuck” every 3rd word, and picture me hanging over the balcony like a 12-year-old girl, and that pretty much sums it up.  Oh, and at the end of the night, four women each donated $10,000 to charity for a signed, sweaty article of clothing from the guys.  Unreal.  Bottom line: the play was great, and as if I weren’t in love with Hugh Jackman before, he has now completely ruined me for all other men, forever and ever.  OH MY GOD THE HOTNESS.  And yes, both Hugh and Daniel are JUST AS HOT and JUST AS RIPPED in person as they are in the movies.  Lord help me.

I have been absolutely dying to check out the new Tim Burton exhibit at the MOMA since I found out about it a few weeks ago, and I finally got over to the museum today.  WOW.  Take my advice – if you’ll be in New York between now and April, go check this out.  It was wonderfully creepy, delightfully playful, and fantastically awe-inspiring.  There was no photography allowed inside the exhibition, but I snapped the above photo from the brochure – that little story goes on to ponder what she would do if she ever needed glasses and how everything around her would get wet if she cried.  The exhibit was packed with breathtaking drawings, paintings, puppets, and even movie props (Christopher Walken’s cape from Sleepy Hollow!  Johnny Depp’s costume from Edward Scissorhands!), and it was truly a must-see.  (It was also packed with people, so I would suggest going on a weekday.)  Plus I got my yearly recharge of my favorites from the permanent collection, including “The Starry Night” and “The Persistence of Memory” which had been out on loan for several months earlier this year.  Oh, how I love the MOMA.  : )

My “DD only” photo holiday cards came in the mail over the weekend, and I must say, I think they came out great!  I’m excited to send them out.  Note to self: I also need to bust out my lights for my apartment windows one of these days. 

My transition to my new job is finally complete, signified by our move to a new office last Friday.  I went from a 400-person office to a 13-person office, so I have a feeling I’m in for a culture shock.  We’ll see how it goes on Monday morning – wish me luck!  I’m envisioning something like “The Office,” but there’s no cute Jim character for me to drool over.  Le sigh.  : )

Things are getting so busy around here!  And the wait to hear back after submitting my grad school applications is going to be a LONG one… I want to know RIGHT NOW, damn it! 

Oh, and I caught my reflection in a store window the other day and decided that I was “all legs” in the dress and boots that I was wearing that day.  I smiled to myself.  : )

Daniel Craig.  Hugh Jackman.  Shirtless.  There was screaming.  I will be completely incapacitated until further notice.

Over the past year or so, I’ve read a bunch of articles on how social networking sites, and Facebook in particular, have influenced real-life relationships for better or for worse (but mostly for worse).  In particular, I’ve heard so many stories of being “dumped” on Facebook by seeing your significant other change their status (either to “single” or to “in a relationship” with someone else) without informing you in real life that the relationship is over.  Let me repeat: what the fuck???

Is this what our society has come to?  Where we’re so withdrawn from reality that the internet becomes a substitute for real life?  Don’t get me wrong, I admit that I’m guilty of this myself.  I’m a self-proclaimed internet junkie, and this blog is just one piece of evidence in a high-piled stack.  But I just can’t seem to fathom ending a relationship by changing my Facebook status.  In fact, my (newly created) Facebook profile doesn’t even list my “status” or that I’m “interested in men” or anything like that at all.  Facebook is just a place where my real life friends and I share photos and waste time when we’re supposed to be working.  When I want to talk about my dating/sex life… well… that’s what this blog is for.  : )

Anyway, I just wanted to voice my frustration with this ridiculous internet phenomenon and re-assert my personal opinion that I’m not quite sold on this whole Facebook thing in the first place.  Sometimes it’s better to just pick up the phone, you know?

Now that Thanksgiving is over (and now that tomorrow is December 1st – yikes!), the holiday season is officially upon us… and you know what that means – holiday cards.  Yes, the dreaded holiday cards have returned to bite me in the ass once again, what with everyone’s new spouses, new babies, new houses, and worst of all – the photo holiday cards that slap you in the face with photos of gorgeous families with smiling children, proud parents, and pets dressed in Santa hats.  Oh, the humanity of it all!  MUST I be subjected to this needless rubbing-in-my-face of everyone’s success and my own failure?  MUST we go through this AGAIN, really???  I went off on a bit of a tirade at this time last year, but I’m proud to report that this year, I’m taking a stand.

I’ve always wanted to send out a photo holiday card of my own, but I never did it because I don’t have a “family” to photograph and slap on the oh-so-jolly card.  But you know what?  WHO FUCKING CARES???  This year I decided to fuck it, embrace my life for what it is instead of worrying about what it’s not, and send out a photo holiday card of my very own – with a big photo of myself, and no one else.  Take that, friends and family!  I am my OWN immediate family, and my holiday card will have a beautiful photo of me smiling and looking pretty and spreading holiday joy and merriment.  As it should be.

I am SO proud of myself for doing this, as it represents one more little step in the right direction.  Over the past year or so, I’ve been actively trying to take hold of my life and embrace the things I can’t control.  Why should I be deprived of sending out a photo holiday card if I’m a single woman?  I shouldn’t be!  So I’m embracing my singledom and splattering it all over my friends and family for all to see.  Suck on THAT, my dears.  : )

I’ll resist the urge to get into all the details of everything I cooked today, but I absolutely *must* recommend the recipe for whipped sweet potatoes with bananas and honey from the Food Network website.  It came out FANTASTIC.  Do yourself a favor and whip some up tomorrow, or next year, or whenever you’re in the mood for something indulgent and delicious.  I can’t WAIT to dive into this dish tomorrow night.  I’m drooling already.

Getting back to the reasons why I put myself through this cooking ordeal every year:  A few weeks ago I visited my family for my mom’s birthday.  It was a pretty low-key thing, just dinner at my parents’ house with the rents, my brother and his family, and my grandmother.  While we’re eating dinner, my nephew looks up at me with the most adorable wide-eyed expression on his face and asks me if I made an apple pie for dessert (as I always do for holiday dinners).  I hadn’t made one, and the little guy was visibly disappointed.  Granted, he forgot about the whole thing five minutes later, but I remember that sad little face, and god damn it, I’ll be bringing him some homemade pie tomorrow.  Aunt DD knows how to deliver.  And I *do* bake a pretty mean pie.  : )

Aaaaaaaanyway, clearly Thanksgiving is all about the food.  I have officially thrown Weight Watchers out the window until all the Thanksgiving leftovers have been consumed.  I fully expect to gain at least five pounds, but I know how to shave it back off afterward.  No big deal.  Let the holiday celebrations begin!

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to all – may you all be blessed with yummy food, good company, and enough wine to blur out any annoying relatives.  : )

Friend: “Oh, by the way, I read that article you sent me.”
DD: “Oh really?  So what do you think?  I’m not so sure that I agree with everything in there, particularly the bit about settling for a guy you’re not thrilled about.”
Friend: “Well, I don’t know, I think I actually agree with that.  I think it might be better to settle than to be miserable by myself.”
DD: “What?!?  Are you really ‘miserable’ by yourself???  I’m certainly not!”

And then it hit me… I can honestly say that I’m NOT miserable being single these days.  Sure, I’d prefer being with someone over being single, but am I really “miserable” alone?  No fucking way!  Especially these days.  I’ve got a ton of great (GREAT!) stuff going on right now, and I’ve gotten incredibly comfortable on my own two feet.  I push away sleazy bar monkeys on the dance floor in favor of dancing with either with my girlfriends or (gasp!) by myself (there’s more room for funky moves when you’re not attached to a dude), I go to movies by myself, I’m going to that upcoming Broadway show by myself (it was the only way I could snag that front row seat!), and I’m super independent in a lot of other ways.  Plus, after some recent conversations with married friends, I’m not so sure it’s all it’s cracked up to be.  Of course there are wonderful things about marriage, but I’m really enjoying the absolute freedom I have right now, and I find that I’m one of the few people I know who is truly 100% uncommitted.  It’s actually… invigorating. 

I went through a pretty rough year last year, what with “the incident” and associated mental breakdown, my subsequent health problems (both STD-related and some other crap), and some serious emotional damage from both of these things combined with a string of bad dates (troll date, anyone?).  Truth be told, I was pretty miserable for a while.  But now?  Now I feel great!  I’ve been privately referring to 2009 as my “year of personal improvements” – I dropped 25 pounds and 2 dress sizes,  I learned a ton about nutrition, I started embracing my naturally curly hair, I got promoted at work, I had a successful summer of running, I ran my first official race, I made the decision to finally apply to grad school, I fucking kicked ass on the GRE, and my school applications are nearly complete.  All that’s left are the holidays, and then my big 30th birthday bash in January.  Awesome on all fronts!!!

Being single is something that definitely has its good points and its bad points, and of course I’d welcome a little companionship and a shot in the arm for my sex life, not to mention a second income to help pay for my ridiculously high cost of living here in New York.  BUT, am I miserable without them?  Absolutely not.  I’m getting along by myself just fine, thank you very much.  : )

And honestly, if my friend is miserable by herself, I’d certainly like to help her fix that.  I’ve been encouraging her to do things for herself, to spend a little extra money on things that will make a difference in her self confidence and state of mind.  For example, she’s been pondering getting a tattoo, and I think she should totally go for it!  It’ll give her that little boost that might help to push her out of whatever misery she might find herself in.  I don’t know what, if anything, will actually help her feel ok with being single, but every little bit helps, right?

Anyway, that’s the story.  What do you think?  Are you “miserable” being single?  Did finding someone bring you out of your misery?  Are you more miserable now that you’re with someone than before (I hope not!)?  Are you single and loving it??  : )

• I finished my grad school Statements of Purpose!  Yessssssss!!!  All that’s left to do is proofread, chase down my last recommendation (my boss, geez), and SUBMIT!
• I’m getting excited about cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the fam and found some great recipes online.  Man, do I love the Food Network.  So easy and so delish!  Just what I was looking for.
• I cannot put into words how excited I am about seeing Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman in a few weeks.  A friend generously loaned me the 2 most recent James Bond movies so I can get up to speed before the show.  Obviously, I’m already up to speed on my boyfriend (Hugh).
• Dude, it’s almost the weekend!

Let us all pause to appreciate this moment – it’s not often that I’m super excited about so many things at once.  What are YOU excited about these days?  : )

In other news, I made an absolutely killer batch of butternut squash soup last night and am already planning Thanksgiving dinner for the family.  Yum yum.  My stomach is happy, my pants still fit, and I’m all excited about the prospect of hitting “submit” on those apps.  Good stuff!

Say that we happened to be surrounded by glasses of absolutely fucking fantastic wine, a mind-blowingly tasty meal, and dessert that could make you swear off all other foods for all eternity.

Say that this certain ex got all dressed up to have dinner with me, including the gel in his hair and the whole nine yards.

Now, my dears, I’m trying very hard to imagine what I might be thinking in this completely hypothetical situation, and I *think* I might have concluded that although the man sitting across from me was smokin’ hot when we had dated last year, he had miraculously got EVEN HOTTER and is now the equivalent of a Greek god for whom I would sacrifice myself for the good of all humanity.  I might be thinking that the mere existence of such a fucking GORGEOUS man would single-handedly prove the existence of a divine power.  I might be thinking that as I stare into those beautiful light brown eyes, my entire world crumbles and my body is transformed into a helpless pile of mush for him to lather all over his insanely manly and instantaneous-orgasm-inducing body.

That’s what I *would* be thinking, *if* this situation had actually occurred, which of course it most certainly did not.

And you know what else would have happened if this completely hypothetical situation had actually occurred?  I would have fought my way through the wine-induced smokin’-hot-man haze, given him a friendly hug goodnight, come home to my apartment by myself, and gone to sleep.

And I would have successfully executed a totally platonic (cough) and completely pleasant dinner with an ex.

But of course this situation is completely hypothetical, because I would NEVER do something like this.  Never.

Cough, cough.

Oh, excuse me, I had a little something in my throat for a minute there.

When I woke up this morning, I was like, “DD, WTF just happened?”  I need to wake the hell up, snap out of this daze, and get back to reality.  It’s freaking Monday, people!  Back to business as usual!  I have bills to pay, soup to cook, work to do, and applications to write.  Goodbye, totally unproductive weekend!

So, eHarmony.  When I was a naive little chickadee and first decided to give the online dating thing a whirl, I was deathly afraid of getting murdered by some online psycho with a bottle of hand cream, a butcher knife, and a freezer full of severed heads.  I had heard that eHarmony was a “more serious” dating site and was geared toward long-term relationships and was not as sketchy and ridiculous as some of the other sites.  In fact, I had two friends who had met nice, normal, stable guys on that site, so I figured it would be a good place for me to get my feet wet.  It was like the online dating kiddie pool – go in slowly, see if the temperature is right, and no need to worry about drowning because the water is only a foot deep.  Perfect, right?  Or so I thought…

It didn’t take long before I realized that eHarmony is total bullshit.  I mean, I suppose it *does* facilitate introductions and interactions just like any dating site, but really, I think eHarm is a total scam.  And here’s why:

- It’s seriously overpriced.  I think I paid something like $60/month, and that was a few years ago.  Totally not worth it for what you’re getting (see my points below).

- By far, my biggest beef with eHarmony is that, when I was on it a few years ago (and feel free to jump in here if they’ve added this feature since then), there’s no way to tell if the people you’re matched with are actually active on the site.  No “active within the past 3 days,” no “online now,” no “don’t even bother emailing this guy because he married someone a year ago, never turned off the matching feature, and has no intention of ever signing in again for the rest of eternity.”  This is a MAJOR problem, in my opinion, and is the biggest “scam” factor of the entire site.  For all you know, your matches could be reading your messages right away, or your well thought-out emails could be rotting away in an inbox that’s covered with a year’s worth of cobwebs and dozens of other stale, never-to-be-opened messages.  Combine this with the fact that the site restricts you to only a handful of matches per day (I usually got ~6/day here in the New York area), and you’re left with *maybe* 1 or 2 people who are actually paying attention.  This significantly slows down the dating process (encouraging you to keep renewing and forking over the $$$) and leaves you with little chance of success.  TOTAL BULLSHIT!

- During my brief affair with eHarm, it didn’t take long before I started noticing a disturbing and disappointing trend in the guys that I was interacting with on there (including the handful of guys I actually met in person): they were mostly losers and virgins.  Now don’t get me wrong – they were all perfectly nice, polite, intelligent, non-psycho, non-serial killer guys – but DAMN, these guys were the folks that society left behind.  They were the ultimate social outcasts, the pasty white video game addicts living in their mother’s basement, the guys who wouldn’t know what to do with a girl even if she handed him an instruction manual.  Coming from me – a girl who openly admits to be looking for a dorky guy – this is really saying A LOT.  These guys were just *too dorky* even for me.  One guy actually told me that he was “just like the 40-year-old virgin, only 10 years younger.”  Geez, what a turn on, buddy!  It was absolutely infuriating.  I was getting nowhere.

- Another complaint: the site makes you jump through all sorts of hoops before you can actually send someone an email.  Technically you can opt for the “fast track” or something like that, but I always thought that it gives the impression that you’re just after a piece of ass, which is not really something I wanted to tag myself with.  The problem is that hardly anyone, in my experience anyway, actually takes all those get-to-know-you questions seriously, and you wind up waiting for these losers to get back to you with crappy 3-word responses that don’t tell you anything about them.  On the other hand, my naive little brain spent way too long crafting cute little responses to these stupid questions, only to be disappointed at the lack of effort I received in return.  Pointless, I’m telling you.

Since my eHarm days, I’ve gotten way more to-the-point with online dating, opting to exchange 1-2 emails with a guy before cutting to the chase and meeting him for coffee, god damn it.  Actually, as you know, lately the whole concept of online dating revolts me, and I choose to be alone rather than deal with that bullshit anymore.  Then again, with that said, one of the two friends I mentioned above married her eHarmony guy last year and is expecting her first child after the new year.  So, I guess it works for some people.

All I’m saying is that I think eHarm is more of a scam than anything else, and if you’re really interested in meeting a bunch of people – *dateable* people – then perhaps good old match.com is a much better bet.  Not that I have anything particularly flattering to say about match, but at least you can tell if your perfect guy is “online now.”  Makes it easier to stalk him.  : )

What do you think?  Ladies, have you dressed up in sexy little numbers like this for your man?  Guys, have you purchased these types of things as gifts for your wives/girlfriends? 

I totally get off on the power/domination aspect of it, which is one of the reasons why I loved that referee costume.  With the Santa outfits, it’s not so much a power thing, but those costumes are just SO friggin cute.  I mean, come on!  Who wouldn’t want to unwrap that at the end of a long day?  Not to mention the fact that the models on that site are HOT and could probably sell ice to an eskimo, as they say.

Anyway… I’m just pondering some potential holiday purchases… and pondering how to wrangle an unsuspecting victim into my lair to unwrap that Christmas present.  : )

Ok, my lovely readers, in light of the recent hubbub surrounding my ill-fated “list of dating requirements,” I have to get a few things off my chest:

1.  CHILL OUT, people.  Please.  For the love of god.

2.  I firmly believe that things have been blown WAY out of proportion.  It’s funny – when I was writing up those paragraphs about how I only date men with college degrees, I *knew* it was going to elicit a bit of discussion and might potentially offend people, but I had NO IDEA of the magnitude of the backlash that would ensue.  Wow.  Let me repeat that: WOW.

3.  To clarify (again): I am absolutely, positively, in NO WAY whatsoever implying that a person without a college degree is any less capable, intelligent, keen, likely to be successful as a professional or in a relationship, or deserving of respect that someone with a college degree.

Let us all pause for a moment to allow that to sink in.

… … …

Are we all clear on that?  I certainly hope so.  This is a VERY important point, and I have to admit that it’s hard not to be personally offended when one is accused of this kind of sweeping ignorance and – dare I say it – prejudice.  I don’t think I’ve ever implied this, and if I have, I apologize sincerely.  I absolutely do not feel this way and never have. 

4.  Another clarification (again): In reality, my college degree requirement weeds out VERY few potential dates.  To be perfectly honest, I know exactly ONE person in my age range who doesn’t have a college degree.  (This person happens to be my brother, but that’s beside the point.)  The vast majority of my current friends and acquaintances were met through college, grad school, or work, and – here’s a shocker – they all have degrees, and most of them have an advanced degree.  This is the world that I live in.  When screening men through online dating sites, I’d say that less than 10 percent of men who contact me don’t meet my college degree requirement.  Honestly, this is NOT a lot of people.  This college degree thing does not define my screening process.  It DOES happen to be something I feel strongly about, but in practice, it really doesn’t come into play very often at all.

5.  Yet another clarification (again): My feelings on advanced degrees, GPA, and the reputation of one’s institution(s) are simply preferences and are absolutely NOT used to reject men.  Please, let’s all be honest with ourselves here – do you *really* think that I go around asking men for their college GPAs and walking away with my nose in the air when they come up with anything less than a 4.0?  Really???  Who in their right mind would actually do this?  I mean, seriously.  And do you *really* think that I’d reject an all-around great guy just because he doesn’t have an Ivy League diploma?  Geez.  Let’s all take a deep breath and remind ourselves of the difference between reality and fiction.

6.  A quick dating status update: For those of you who haven’t noticed, I am not currently dating.  To clarify, I am *choosing* not to date.  I haven’t actively put myself out on the dating market since July when I went on that awful troll date, which completely turned me off to the entire process.  I admit that I’m completely jaded and am actively taking a much-needed dating hiatus.  In addition, I’m not sure how much I’ve talked about this on the blog, but I recently got a new job (kind of – it’s a long story), and things at work have been crazy.  I come home stressed out and exhausted everyday and really have NO time or desire to bother with dating right now.  Oh, and the little snippets of free time that I manage to carve out for myself are either taken up with grad school applications or the occasional mental break to recharge from a hectic week.  Simply put, dating is not on my radar right now.  At all.  And it’s kind of nice.

As such, I haven’t been meeting any new men lately.  On purpose.  I’m sure I’ll get back on the dating scene eventually, once work settles down, once all my applications have been submitted, and once I become slightly less jaded.  I appreciate all the recent comments to “meet some new men already, for god’s sake,” but it’s just not something I’m looking to do right now.  So let’s all relax a bit.  Deep breaths, my dears.

7.  In light of the fact that I haven’t been meeting anyone new lately, I admit that I’ve been clinging to past guys who are very obviously not good for me.  I know this.  I am aware.  I’m a big girl and know exactly what I’m doing.  I realize when I’m making a mistake.  It’s so obvious!  How could I *not* know, I mean really???  While I firmly believe that I don’t have to justify my actions to anyone other than myself, I hereby present a quick-and-dirty justification for my ongoing contact with various and sundry men of my past:

- Hot Marine: Despite the fact that he’s a complete monster, he is exactly what I’m looking for in every other respect and I fully admit that I’m addicted to him in a completely unhealthy and toxic way and have been since practically the day that I met him.  However, let the record show that there has been absolutely NO contact since I had dinner with him last month when he dropped that ridiculous bomb on me.

- New Year’s Lips: Despite the fact that there is absolutely no possibility of things ever working out with him, I firmly believe that he is a stand-up guy (I know you don’t believe me, but I’m sticking to my guns on this one since I’m the only one of us who has actually met him in person).  For better or for worse, I firmly believe that he didn’t know he had the STD that he gave me and that he truly felt awful about it when he found out what I went through.  He has always treated me with respect, and he’s actually a nice/fun guy to be around.  I know exactly how this comes off, but you’ll just have to trust me on this one (or not).  I’m finding it impossible to adequately explain this in writing without coming off as completely delusional.

- The new male prospect: Despite my ongoing inability to maintain a completely platonic friendship with him, we actually *have* become fairly close friends, and I truly value my friendship with him.  He’s been dating his girlfriend for almost a year and a half now, and I would never jeopardize that… and neither would he.  I haven’t actually seen him since *before* he started dating his GF, which was seriously a long-ass time ago.  We live far away from each other now, and I think it’s perfectly fine to catch up with him over the phone every once in a while.  No harm done.

8.  I absolutely do NOT want to date someone who “treats me like garbage.”  Geez, I really didn’t think I’d ever have to put that in writing, but there it is.  My contact with the aforementioned men of the past is merely a distraction for me during a busy time in my life.  They provide me with entertainment.  The provide me with interesting stories for the blog.  They provide me with funny stories to share with my girlfriends over drinks on a Saturday night.  They provide me with a good laugh after a long, shitty day at work.  I fully admit that I use them to generate a little bit of much-needed distraction in what has recently been a stressful, aggravating, exhausting time in my life.  It’s as simple as that.

9.  And finally, on that note, my life has been unusually busy for the past few months.  I’m sure you’ve all noticed that I haven’t been blogging nearly as much as I used to, for two reasons: (1) My dating/sex life is essentially non-existent right now; and (2) I hardly have any free time in the evenings anymore.  You’ll notice that I’m writing this post at 1:00 in the morning and cutting into my sleep time to do so.  As such, I honestly don’t have very much time to put into the blog right now, and I’ve found it very difficult to respond in detail to the recent mini-swarm of comments and emails — both the thoughtful/insightful comments and the rampant accusations and sweeping, poorly-supported generalizations.  I sincerely apologize for this.  Rest assured that I do read every comment and email and take them to heart.  I also apologize for the fact that apparently some of you have more time available to read and comment on my blog than I have to actually write it.  I wish this wasn’t the case, but it is what it is these days.  Hopefully things will settle down for me soon, and at that point, I’ll have more time to respond more thoroughly and efficiently.

10.  On a related note, I firmly believe that justifying every aspect of my life and my decision-making process and untwisting words that have been misconstrued or misinterpreted are things that I have neither an obligation nor a desire to perform.  I know I’ve gotten crap for this comment before, but I’ll make it again: as a human being, my life and my psyche are much more complex than what filters through onto this blog.  Seriously.  Think about it.  Some of the recent comments about me have been wildly exaggerated and have been based on far too little evidence to be properly supported. 

11.  Finally, I am not a helpless, clueless woman in need of saving.  I’m not perfect, but I feel as if I’m being made out to be a poor little girl who needs coddling and elicits pity, and to be perfectly honest, this bugs the shit out of me.  I take an inordinate amount of pride in being a fiercely independent, self-sufficient, respected professional, and I have my shit together and my life in order.  My emotional relationships could certainly use some improvement, but geez, I’m not an idiot.  Lately I’ve been feeling as if comments are being made about me as if I’m not even in the room, as if I’m a four-year-old who doesn’t understand when her parents are calling her a “b-a-b-y.”  Recall that we’re all adults here and should be treated as such.

That’s all for tonight, folks.  More to come on this, I’m sure.  For now, I need to get some sleep.

Please mind your manners, my dears.  While the purpose of this blog is informal entertainment, please remember that there’s a real human being behind the scenes.  I respect you as human beings entitled to your opinions, and I expect the same in return.

~DD

I had an absolutely fabulous day today shopping, shopping, shopping, and taking the occasional break in a coffee shop sipping hot apple cider and knitting a sweater (yes, I knit sweaters – you already knew I was a dork, right?).  Anyway, while I was taking in the heavenly aroma of mulled spices from my cider, I decided that I wanted to indulge a little and have dinner at one of my favorite tapas restaurants that happened to be right near the coffee shop I was sitting in.  After trying unsuccessfully to wrangle a friend into some last-minute dinner plans, I realized that I also happened to be right near New Year’s Lips’ place.  Hmmmmmmm.  I tossed the idea around in my head for a while and finally decided that I absolutely should NOT ask him to meet me for dinner.  Ten minutes later, I had plans to meet him at 7.  I know, I’m an idiot, but I was on a shopping high and wanted some company.  Begin chastising lectures… now.

Anyway, I show up at the agreed-upon time and place, get a table for two, peruse the menu, and order a glass of wine.  And then I waited.  And then I waited some more.  And I read through the entire menu… twice.  And I checked my cell phone a handful of times.  He was 20 minutes late, and I had resigned myself to the fact that he wasn’t going to show up.  I give him a call and find out that he’s been waiting for me since 7:00… at a resaturant with the same name in another part of the city.  It figures.  Both of us hungry and a little annoyed after waiting for the other person for almost a half hour, we decide to scrap it and call it a night, especially since we were probably 20 minutes apart at that point.

I think the universe is trying to hit me over the head with something… ha, maybe I should listen.

New Year’s Lips’ reaction in his email:  “So, can we agree that given our history, tonight was pretty fucking funny and possibly expected?”

My sentiments exactly.  I give up.  For at least the third time.  : )