Awesome shit that’s gone down in the past few days:

• I went to 3 classes on Wed, all packed with (a) useful, interesting information and (b) lots of smart cookies.  Ah, I am finally home at last.
• My brain woke up from its six-year nap… well, more like a massive electric shock zapped it, and it sprung out of its coma in a frenzy of excitement and eagerness to learn.  It felt GOOD.
• The university bought me a brand new MacBook.  Oh, big H, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.  Free software downloads to commence tomorrow.  Yay free stuff!
• I met lots of friendly, smart, interesting people!  Students and professors alike.
• While talking with a random professor this afternoon, he actually remembered my background from my application and gave me a “yes, very impressive.”  Screw humility… this was awesome.  : )

More classes tomorrow!  Actually, tomorrow morning is the first meeting of a very juicy class that I can’t wait to get my hands on.  It’s exactly in my area of interest and includes a series of guest lectures from well-known professors throughout the country.  Bring it on, peeps!

I feel like I’ve entered an underground world of elite scholars and am finally allowed to see all the prizes behind the curtains.  I am really so fortunate to be a part of this.  See what happens when you get picked on as a child, grow up with no friends, and have nothing to do all day except homework?  Kind of pays off in the end.  : )

For the next 2 days (and even starting tonight), I’ll be going through organizational and mental preparation for the culmination of my transition from professional to lazy bum to full-time graduate student.  Holy crap, it’s really starting to hit me now.  Tonight I spent some time looking through course descriptions to figure out what I should take, and tomorrow I need to start figuring out which courses (if any) from my masters will qualify toward my PhD requirements.  I also need to decide if I want to really push myself and add on an extra “fun” (i.e., language) class right off the bat, or if maybe I should take care of my requirements first and save the extras for later.  Oh, the joys of taking classes again.

I also need to buy school supplies.  Umm… remind me what I should be buying here??  Notebooks and pens?  Binders?  Paper to do homework on?  And I need to get my laptop, which requires my advisor’s help/approval.  What else?  Oh, and shoes!  God, I’ve been thinking a LOT about shoes today.  I can’t wear my office heels to school because I’ll be walking around so much, and walking outside at that, so what should I wear to class?  Sneakers?  Blah.  Boots with low heels?  Cute flats?  Help, I am clueless here!  Fashion is still important.  : )

Dude, I can’t believe it’s midnight already.  Need to go to sleep because I want to start having 8-5 days this week – ahhh!  Vacation, I miss you already!

Clearly this cat has her priorities in order, no?  : )

Kitty and I are making progress!  Significant happenings include the following : (a) she spent almost the entire day outside of her under-the-bed hiding spot; (b) she discovered that taking naps on the bed is a lot more comfortable than under the bed, and hence has claimed the entire bed as her kitty territory; and (c) she discovered that the couch is also a comfy place to take naps and that humans sitting on the couch are worthy of cuddling up against.  All very exciting, if you ask me.  : )

I spent the entire day home today on Kitty patrol (since we are still in the early stages here), and her day consisted of naps, naps, and more naps.  I was getting a little worried because cats do need their daily exercise, but she is just so not interested in anything that’s not nap-related.  Perhaps she is just exhausted from the stress of her homecoming?  Maybe tomorrow she’ll perk up a bit?

Don’t worry, I promise this won’t turn into a cat blog!  Just a little excited about Kitty right now, and nothing is going on in the dating department anyway.  Oh, one noteworthy item: I’ve noticed that many male grad students here at the big H are cute and dorky.  Yum.  Now I just need to find a bald one with glasses… who likes cats.

A very warm welcome to my new kitty!  :  )  I am beyond thrilled to finally have her home, and we are settling in very nicely.  Slowly, but nicely.  What a sweetheart she is!  Details of her homecoming below the jump.

Little did I know this, but bringing a kitty home is kind of like bringing a new baby home, but to a much lesser extent, obviously.  (Like I have any idea what bringing home a baby is like, ha!)  What a trip these last 24 hours have been.  First of all, just the mere act of getting her from the shelter to my apartment was probably the most traumatic thing she’ll ever experience.  We walked from the shelter to the T (with kitty in a cat carrier), took 2 different trains (including the stopover full of people and loud noises, which just about terrified her, I think), and finally walked from the T to the apartment along some busy streets with more loud noises.  I could feel her literally jumping around in the carrier and letting out the occasional “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?” meow.  I felt so bad and was walking as fast as I possibly could.  Poor thing!

I had been reading up on cat care, so I already had the bathroom all set up for her arrival when we walked in the door.  She spent the first few hours in the bathroom crouched up in the very back of her covered litterbox, clearly scared out of her mind.  This was the saddest thing, and I felt so helpless that I couldn’t comfort her!  Can you imagine what she must have been going through?  Poor kitty, seriously.  I offered her some food and she ate it, which made me feel a little better.  She wouldn’t drink the water, though, even though I had let it sit out for a few hours (as the books recommended) to let the chemicals vaporize out or whatever.  I think she was just in shock or something.

Toward the end of the night, after a few hours in the bathroom, I opened the bahtroom door to let her explore the rest of the apartment, if she wanted to.  She did venture out a bit, but eventually ran (RAN) underneath my bed, where she found a nice dark corner that she has been sitting in for essentially the past 24 hours straight.  At this point, I think I was as worried as she was.  There was no way I could coax her out from under the bed, and it was very obvious that she was totally terrified of me, not to mention the “huge” unfamiliar apartment.  I didn’t sleep very well last night, especially since (a) I didn’t actually find her under the bed until this morning, so I had no idea where she was all during the night, and (b) she hadn’t gone to the bathroom at all since I had brought her home.  Is this normal??  I was worried she was too scared to come out and use her box!

Anyway, after I found her secret hiding spot under the bed this morning, I tried to just leave her alone while at the same time making sure she wasn’t sick or hurt or having a kitty heart attack or something.  I did lure her out with a toy a few times, and each time we tried to play a little and I gave her some good scratches.  The slightest noise scared her back under the bed, though, be it someone walking outside or – even worse – someone in the hallway of the building or walking around in the apartment above us.  It was such a fragile situation!  I wound up staying home most of the day today just to make sure she was ok.  I was so worried.  Plus she still hadn’t gone to the bathroom.

Finally this afternoon we started making a little progress.  She started spending progressively more time out from under the bed (from just a few seconds per trip up to about 10 minutes or so), and once or twice she even came out on her own (without me coaxing her).  This was very exciting!  I decided to move everything right next to the entryway to her hiding spot, and soon after I did this she (a) ate more food that I had put out for her, and (b) used her box.  Success!  Can I tell you how relieved I was when she peed?  Hahaha!  It had seriously been at least 24 hours.  I’m still waiting for a #2 but at least we’re making progress.  She also started drinking water this afternoon, which also made me feel much better.  I snapped the photo above during one of her afternoon explorations – clearly she is still scared, but at least she was out in the open for a few minutes.

Actually, she came out twice by herself just while I was writing this post, and on one of her trips she made her way over to the bathroom to explore!

So we are getting there.  : )  I feel so protective of her because she has been so terrified, and I can see in her eyes that every step is a scary new adventure for her.  She has been so brave today, and I am such a proud kitty mommy!

My apologies if this post is extremely mushy, but I am totally in kitty mommy mode right now.  Updates to come as they happen!

(1) It’s STILL raining.  Four solid days in a row now.  Where is August?  Where is the sun?  I miss being able to walk around without getting soaking wet from head to toe.  My already-dying umbrella sprung a leak today, and I stepped in a huge puddle that soaked my shoes, so I was pretty much cold and wet all day.  Dislike!

(2) Orientation today was awesome.  Can I just tell you how much I love it here?  Today was the official school-wide welcome, and I have to say, I feel extremely welcome now.  : )  One quote that I really liked (from one of the deans): “What inspires you?  Pursuing the answer to that question is your new job.”  Seriously, that is the exact reason that I came back to school in the first place.  I want to be pursuing my passion everyday.  It’s my JOB now.  Love it!

(3) A kitty has been adopted and is coming home tomorrow!  She was still available when I made it back to the shelter today, so I scooped her up and sealed the deal.  I am very excited and looking forward to lots of kitty cuddles and purrs.  Photos to come soon!

Glad to be in a dry, non-rainy, non-cold, non-windy apartment right now.  Will the sun come out tomorrow or what??

But on a happier note, new student orientation started today!  Yay!  Actually, orientation was kind of scary in that they welcomed us and then immediately transitioned into a few solid hours of what NOT to do here.  Don’t do this, definitely don’t do that, oh and whatever you do, don’t do this either!  Ouch!  Good thing I really want to be here, otherwise I might have just run away.  Tomorrow’s activities promise to be a little more on the fun side (vs. the administrative side), so I’m looking forward to that.  If it stops raining tomorrow, even better.  : )

Oh, and Mike asked in the comments a few posts ago what the people are like here, so here are a few more observations.  Today it was brutally obvious that there is a skewed racial/ethnic dynamic here – maybe 59% white, 39% Asian, 1% Indian, and 1% everything else.  I have yet to see an African-American student walking around campus.  WTF?  So weird.  Also, orientation activities today supported my earlier observation that people are very chill and friendly here, which is great.  Based on my limited interactions on both campuses, I think there is a starkly different atmosphere between this big “pretty good school” in Cambridge and the other big “pretty good school” in Cambridge, if you know what I mean.  For my personality and interests, I’m glad I’m at this one instead of the other.  : )

Finally, a kitty update: still no kitty.  Le sigh.  Apparently adopting a kitty is serious business… or, perhaps more accurately, the shelter is only open for a few hours a day, and is an hour away by foot/subway, and my schedule does not exactly align with that of the shelter.  Le sigh again.  I am cautiously excited because I have my eye on one particular kitty, so hopefully this adorable furball will still be available when I can get back to the shelter later this week.  Will keep you posted.

Dating update: nothing to report, and don’t really care!  Ha.  : )

I’ve mentioned several times on this blog that a bunch of my good friends are much more conservative than I am when it comes to dating/sex, and in fact, one of the main reasons that I keep up this blog is that I can’t talk to my friends about my sex life but have to talk to *someone* about it.  Lucky you, I guess.  : )

There are two main WTF questions here:

(1) How did I not know this for all the years that I’ve been friends with her???  I mean, we do talk about sex to some extent.  How did this seemingly HUGE piece of information never come up?  Hello?  What else don’t I know about her?

(2) And of course, how in the world does a single 30-ish year-old woman completely shun oral sex?  From the way she said it, I get the impression that this has been a long-standing thing for her, and perhaps she has never done it at all.  In which case, perhaps she doesn’t know what she’s missing?  Really, that can be the *only* possible explanation for this, because once you’ve experienced it, there is no way you could cut it out of your life!  Am I right or am I right?  : )

WOW.  I am completely blown away by this news.  No oral sex?  Like, EVER?  And who doesn’t LIKE it?  Really, who???  And holy crap, how has this never come up before?  Ahhhhhhhh!  Sometimes I really feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone or something.  So weird.

I am feeling an obligation to expound on the many virtues of oral sex and enlighten her as to the joys involved for both parties.  I mean, seriously.  Do you think I can get away with talking to her about this?  Like maybe over email or something?  Do you think she would be offended?

I am speechless.  Is there anyone else out there who completely shuns oral sex?  If so, talk to me!  Why would anyone do this, aside from potential medical reasons?

This whole conversation kind of makes me want to give a blowjob.  Where’s the NMP when I need him?  : )

(1) New student orientation starts on Tuesday!  I am very much looking forward to meeting the other new students (because hello, I don’t know anyone in this city!), and I’m also really excited about diving into my new program, picking classes, getting my ID card, etc.  I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for a solid year now, and here I am about to finally dive in.  This is all incredibly satisfying, rewarding, and exhilarating.

(2) If all goes according to plan, hopefully I’ll be bringing home a kitty this week!  I’ve been wanting a cat for years now, and I’m finally in a cat-friendly apartment, and I just can’t wait to bring a furry ball of luv into my new place.  : )  This weekend I trudged all over Cambridge (in the rain today!) and picked up a bunch of cat supplies, and the rest should be arriving from Amazon sometime this week or next.  I can’t wait to meet my new furry friend.  Ahhhh, the cuteness!

That’s about all I have to report tonight, but these two things are both long-awaited events and big changes for me.  Ah, life is good these days.

• Finishing school
• Moving out of our parents’ house
• Achieving financial independence
• Getting married
• Having children

Also, traditionally it was expected that we complete all of these steps before the age of 30.

The news segment was talking about how many 20-somethings are “delaying adulthood” until later in their 20s or even into their 30s and about how traditional expectations of 20-somethings are changing.  They even introduced the term “emerging adulthood” as that phase of your life when you’re still trying to figure out what you want to do and where you want to go… all before settling down with a career and a family.

That all sounds good to me.

My problem is this: during no point in the segment did they mention that society has changed their view of official adulthood from the five steps listed above.  Which begs the question: am I less of an adult now that I’m back in school, single, and with no kids? 

It seems to me that these five steps are a little outdated as well.  Next Sunday morning I want to see a segment on that.  : )

(1) Cue porno music… I have officially had sex in my new Cambridge apartment.  Oh baby!  The NMP came over last night, and we went out for drinks, came back to my place so I could show off my mad decorating skillz, and went at it like horny teenagers.  Awesome.  Actually, it was kind of hilarious because (a) the NMP had to make a middle-of-the-night run to the drug store due to a tragic condom shortage, and (b) because my bed in on wheels and now I have hardwood floors instead of carpet, it felt like we were on an Austin Powers circular rotating bed or something.  Ha!  Good thing the apartment is so small, so we couldn’t move *that* far away from the bed’s original position.  Lesson learned: need to get some kind of anchors or something for my bed before I lure actual dateable men into it.

The sex was ok – not great, but not horrible.  I think the NMP and I have slept together enough times now that things are falling into a bit of a routine.  Not exactly the stuff that makes for an exciting blog post – sorry my dears – but sex nonetheless.  Clearly the NMP and I are on different wavelengths when it comes to what we want out of sex – I want to be fucked and slapped around a bit, and the NMP really just wants a blowjob (or two, or ten).  We know this about each other, and so everyone gets what they want.  I also know that once he’s had his blowjob(s) he kind of fizzles out for the night, so I just make sure that I get what I want first, then he gets his BJs as a reward, and we all fall asleep happy.  Kind of like training a dog, right?  Haha.  Whatever.  The NMP is my friendly old stand-by, and I’m his, and that’s that.  It’s nice to get laid.  : )

(2) Yesterday I had my first (un)official event at the big H, which was (a) awesome, and (b) made me fall in love with this place even more than I already had.  It was basically just a meet and greet over lunch, but I was in heaven the entire time.  This morning I officially registered as a graduate student with the university registrar, so now I am really officially a big H grad student.  Let us all take a moment to let that sink in.  … … …  Do we all agree that this is FUCKING AWESOME???  : )

(3) A funny thing happened while I was checking my email this afternoon: I wound up having a three-hour email conversation with weirdness-bomb-deliverer Bachelor #3.  Hmm.  I can see you rolling your eyes in disapproval and starting to yell at the computer screen and swear off this blog forever… but don’t worry, it was just email, and nothing happened.  Remember when I had sent him that no-bullshit email earlier this week, and then he responded with that “I don’t want anything serious right now” email?  I did wind up replying just to say “ok, best of luck, enjoy the rest of the summer” because one of my major personality flaws is that I can’t *not* respond to emails, and then we wound up sending a few more emails back and forth and actually having an honest conversation about the weirdness bomb, which is what I had wanted to do in the first place.

He provided more detail on exactly what had happened and what the circumstances were, and believe it or not, it started to sound a lot less weird.  I know this sounds ridiculous, but I was actually starting to feel much better about the situation.  Plus, once the weirdness started to subside, our interactions seemed to get back to normal – i.e., when we actually got along and were having fun shooting the shit with each other.  Then the topic of last week came up (when I had spent the night at his place and we kinda sorta had sex but not really – oh, and he agreed that it wasn’t really sex, by the way), and we proceeded to have a super-erotic email conversation for the next three hours.  Dudes, it was hot.  Loved it! 

I’m sure this is all resulting from the fact that we never actually had sex and the anticipation is still there, but don’t worry, I don’t plan on actually sleeping with him.  At the end we decided to try being “just friends” and maybe meet up for a drink sometime in the undefined distant future.  I’m not holding my breath, and I’m not actively reaching out to him.  However, I do feel SO much better now that we finally talked about the weirdness bomb, and I’m happy that we had the mature adult conversation that I had been wanting (well, before the erotic stuff started, of course).  It feels good to be able to talk to someone openly and honestly, even if it took him a while to man up and actually do it.

Other than that, not much is going on today.  I basically just lazed around, soaked up the sun, and caught up on some sleep.  Right now I’m in the process of putting on some heavy-duty armor for the barrage of anti-Bachelor-#3 comments that I’m sure are on their way.  Bring it on, peeps!

I went to two local animal shelters today and looked at all the adorable cats up for adoption.  How friggin’ CUTE are these little guys, seriously?  I am so in love and wanted to take them all home immediately.  The plan is this:

• Research how to be a cat owner.  Yesterday I took some books out of the library and have been reading up and taking notes.
• Purchase necessary cat supplies at the pet store.  A friend and fellow cat mommy sent me a list of essentials, so now I just need to find a pet supply store and go to town.
• Choose a kitty!  This will obviously be the most fun part.  : )
• Pick up kitty a few days later, bring it home, and officially become a crazy spinster cat lady.

I can’t wait!  : )

Other observations:

• I have been spending way too much time on the T (subway) lately.  Do you think my landlord will cut me some slack on the rent if I show him all my used T tickets?  Also, I think the “fun” of not having a car is wearing off because it’s starting to take me forever to get anywhere.  Plus I am sweaty all the time.  Ugh.
• Slow-cooking dinner is the most awesome thing ever.  I gave my new slow-cooker a test run today, and let me tell ya, a chicken stew that simmers for 9 hours is FAR superior to one that you whip up in a hour or so.  Holy crap I had no idea what I was missing.  People, go out and get yourselves a CrockPot ASAP.

One last thing: I was REALLY pissed about Bachelor #3′s magical disappearing act earlier today, and although my kitty excursion made me feel much better, I am seriously considering starting to see a therapist once my school insurance kicks in (should be any day now).  I just think that I should be able to handle these types of things a little better, instead of getting all bent out of shape about someone who I didn’t really want to keep seeing anyway.  I need an experienced person to help me with emotion management or something.

Oh!  And I have my first official H-related event tomorrow afternoon - awesome!!!  AND the NMP is coming over tomorrow night, so it should be a fun day on all fronts.  Yessssss.

Edited to add:  BREAKING NEWS:  Bachelor #3 just replied to my no-bullshit email, like 3 full days after I sent it.  What the FUCK???  I don’t even know how to process this right now.  Basically he said that I had presumed a lot about him, and although he doesn’t have time to get into a relationship right now, he would be open to hanging out and casually dating.  But I thought he had ditched me?  WTF???  I don’t understand.

If I could sum up the day in one sentence, it would be “I absolutely LOVE this place.”  I love that Cambridge is such a cute, vibrant place, filled with interesting people and interesting places and just exactly the types of things that I’m looking for.  I love that I’m completely surrounded by the big H and all that it has to offer, and I love that it offers anything and everything that I could ever want or need.  There are opportunities for intellectual and creative exploration and expression at every corner.  I am absolutely dying to get my ID card so that I can have access to all this friggin’ amazing stuff!  I am just gushing with excitement.  GUSHING.  Who knew that this place even existed and that it was exactly what I’d been looking for all this time? 

As I was exploring the city today, it hit me that the last six years of my life have been such an incredible waste – and what a shame that it was during my 20s.  I was rotting away in my cube doing meaningless work and hanging out at places that kept me entertained but not stimulated, not challenged, not excited about life.  I hate myself for sticking with it for so long, but I know that I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate the opportunities in front of me now if I hadn’t been on the other side.  And despite the last few years, I am so grateful that I decided to make this move because I feel so completely awakened and refreshed and finally in a place where I really BELONG.  This place is so me.  It’s hard for me to express just how overwhelming this feeling is, but suffice it to say that this move was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, and that’s really hitting me tonight.

I was so productive today!  This morning I got up at the crack of dawn to hit the Registry of Motor Vehicles right when it opened, and after under an hour start to finish (not bad!), I came home with a Massachusetts driver’s license.  How cool is that?  I’m all official now.  : )  Then this afternoon I took a 3.5-hour stroll around Cambridge to explore and learn my way around the city a bit.  I got a library card and checked out some “cat 101″ books (can’t wait to bring home the kitty) and then wandered around H square until I was satisfied that at least I walked down most of the streets.  I’ll actually stop in all the little shops and restaurants another time, I suppose.  Today I was just getting my bearings. 

Toward the end, I decided to take a little detour into Somerville to satisfy my curiosity and face my fear.  The five-year BF lived in Somerville during the last summer that we were dating, and I used to come up here to visit him every other weekend or so.  I knew his old apartment was close to where I’m living now, and although I’d been putting off actually finding it, I decided that today was the day to just get it over with and move on.  I didn’t have any trouble finding it at all since I so vividly remembered all the street corners and restaurants, so my memories of that summer led me straight there.  I knew the apartment as soon as I saw it, and I just stood there for a while and soaked it all in.  I also immediately recognized the spot across the street where I had parked my car during my last visit and where we had a really emotional goodbye (it wasn’t the last time we saw each other, but it was just a very sweet, very meaningful moment). 

I’m so glad I did this today, if for no other reason that to get that fear out of my mind and accept things for what they are.  I walked away feeling a little sad but mostly content, which I suppose is pretty good considering the circumstances.  It made me remember such a happy time in my life, and since so much time has passed between then and now, I feel more appreciative of the fact that I had such a great experience than sad about the fact that I lost it.  This is one of the things that I really enjoy about adulthood, if that makes any sense.

And in news that completely doesn’t matter, Bachelor #3 has successfully ditched me right in the middle of me ditching him.  Ha!  I find it so hilarious that this happened.  He drops the weirdness bomb on me, and then HE decides to ditch ME?  Really?  This just goes to show that dating is completely ridiculous and that clearly logical reasoning just does not apply.  What, was he offended by my reaction?  Was he turned off by my no-bullshit I’m-trying-to-be-an-adult-about-this email?  I got zero response from him and don’t expect anything more at this point.  Done and done.  This is so hilarious!

Phew!  It feels good to get all of this out tonight.  It really was such an overwhelming day, what with my excitement about the big H/Cambridge, the emotional reunion with the five-year BF’s old apartment, and the stupidity of the Bachelor #3 situation.  I just feel so incredibly fortunate tonight and so absolutely thrilled about what lies ahead.  Ahhh, I am so happy.  I’m so, so, SO glad I did this.  : )

I had a looooooong phone conversation with the NMP about this last night, and he basically told me in no uncertain terms (as have all my other friends, by the way) that I need to drop this guy like a hot potato.  And you know what?  I totally agree.  Well, the intellectual/logical part of me totally agrees… but the single girl sleeping by herself every night kinda sorta wants to cuddle up with this guy again.  He was so nice, after all.  How the fuck did this get so screwed up?  Geez.

I’m thinking that I want to send him a no-bullshit, short and sweet, lay-it-all-out-on-the-table email that basically says “not sure WTF just happened here, but here’s what I’m thinking” and see what he does with it.  Perhaps it will prompt a “here’s what I’m thinking” response from him?  I just think that we’re too old and too experienced in the fucked-up world of dating to play bullshit games here.  I just want to have an open conversation with him.  Guys, would you be open to something like this?  It will probably spell out the sad, inevitable end to my interactions with him, but at least we could be honest and mature and get some closure, right?

Anyway, while talking to the NMP last night, we made tentative plans for him to come visit me at my new grad student crash pad this week – perhaps tomorrow night.  I know how much you all love to hate this guy, but as fucked up as our history may be, in some respects I actually consider him to be one of my closest friends.  He’s been good lately, and we’ve been talking fairly often, and it would be nice to see him again.  And I don’t think I would be opposed to fucking his brains out (as he likes to call it), since really, I just need a good fuck right now.  I’m human, so sue me.

In other news, I got more info on new student orientation activities for next week, and I am ridiculously excited!  I might even get to check out my desk space this week and sit in on a lab group meeting.  Hello, I am in heaven. 

In more other news, someone in my family passed away over the weekend, and I ventured out of Boston for the day to attend the wake.  I wasn’t very close with this person, but it was still very sad (as all wakes/funerals are), and so it was kind of a weird day today.

Finally, can I just say how much I love Boston/Cambridge?  I had no idea that I would like it so much (especially considering that I had planned on living in California), and I am feeling very much at home here already.  I fit right in – how cool is that?  Plus, this morning I got my visitor parking permit, so now my New York friends can come visit.  Yay!  Perhaps the NMP will be the first?  : )

I’ll write more about Bachelor #3 as the situation develops (assuming anything else happens, which it might not).  And if I wind up sleeping with the NMP this week, you’ll be the first to know.  I actually kind of miss that magnificent cock of his… mmmm…

Edited to add: So I just sent Bachelor #3 the no-bullshit email that I had been contemplating.  I’m so glad I sent it, if for no other reason than to be a mature adult about this weird situation and to get my thoughts/feelings off my chest.  Phew!  I am having trouble envisioning any possible way this can end well, but I was feeling that way before I sent the email anyway.  So there – done and done.  And now we wait…

Yesterday (and for most of today, actually) I was pretty convinced that I would never hear from him again, and to be honest, I probably shouldn’t have ever reached out to him again either.  Things just got weird.  But then I got a text from him today asking if I wanted to get together one night this week, and we made some very tentative and very loosely-defined plans.  There is a lot left unsaid between us at this point, but my gut feeling is that he just wants to have sex before ditching this thing completely.  Last week we had 3 dates and kinda sorta had sex but  not really, and I think he just wants to finish the job.  This is all based on what he’s saying in the texts, his level of communication, etc.  It’s just a very different vibe from last week when he was genuinely interested in hanging out with me.  UGH.  If it still seems like he just wants to fuck as our tentative plans get closer, I’m probably going to bail out.  I just don’t need that right now.

While still avoiding the details of the weirdness bomb that got dropped on me late last week, this situation does bring up an interesting question – what do you define as “having sex?”  My girlfriends and I have been discussing this, and no one can agree on a straight answer. 

Here’s what happened: I wound up back at this guy’s apartment last week but told him that I didn’t want to sleep with him yet, but I would stay over because we were having a good time and I was exhausted and kind of drunk.  We were both naked in bed and all sorts of things happened, but we kept stopping because we had decided *not* to have sex.  So there was vaginal penetration, and I went down on him, and he went down on me, but everything was only for like a minute or two, even though all of these things happened multiple times.  No orgasms though, because we kept stopping. 

Here’s my interpretation: This does *not* count as “having sex” to me.  To me, “having sex” means sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal), and you have to be going at it for at least a few minutes consistently.  There doesn’t have to be an orgasm, but I think a minute or two of penetration just doesn’t count.  To me, oral sex doesn’t count as “having sex” either, no matter how many orgasms/rounds are involved.  So I haven’t added this guy to my sex list and don’t plan on it.

I am still pretty disappointed that things don’t seem to be working out here (he seemed like such a great guy!), but shit happens I suppose, and clearly this was not meant to be.  Oh well.  On the flip side, school orientation starts next week, and I am totally pumped about kicking off my new life here in Boston.  My apartment is all set up and my affairs are in order, so I’m all ready to dive in to the big H and all it has to offer (which I think is a LOT).  : )

Oh, dating.  Why does it have to be so difficult?

Soooooo… this guy is kind of adorable.  His physical appearance actually reminds me of Mr. Perfect (remember him from years ago?), but his personality is much better/geekier.  I was happy to see that I was actually attracted to him (unlike the European and the 2 guys I met last week) AND I enjoyed talking to him AND he wasn’t obnoxious or boring or anything like that.  Why is this such a rare combination?  Also, I’ve been really feeling the older-man vibe lately (thanks to the Texas guy and my attractive-but-married male friend), and this guy is 42 and is exactly my cup of tea right now.  The chemistry wasn’t at the fireworks level, but there is definitely a spark to work with.  It was a nice afternoon, and it will be good to hang out with him again.  We’ll see if anything develops.

That reminds me… I never wrote up the details of the Texas sex fest!  Shame on me!!!  Wow, I’m so sorry for letting it go that long.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the full write-up, but suffice it to say that this guy should teach a class on proper sexual technique.  To put it bluntly, this guy knows how to fuck.  Seriously.  I was blown away by the level of skill, the smoothness of the movements, the precision, the enthusiasm, the sex eyes, the body, the strength… basically the whole nine yards.  It was unreal.  That one night was hands down the best sex I’ve ever had from a technical/orgasmic point of view.  I still say the *best* sex is when the technique is great AND you’re in loooooove (cheesy but true), but this was still damn good.

One thing that stands out in my mind about that night is that at one point he picked me up and we were having sex in mid-air and watching ourselves in the mirror, and it was amazingly hot.  Like, smokin’ hot.  He was just so manly, and we were totally in the zone.  Loved it.  I don’t know how many dozens of women this guy has slept with, but I was very glad to have made the list.  I guess everything IS bigger and better in Texas.  : )

Date #1 – This guy was a piece of work.  A very nice, friendly, successful, attractive, and well-put-together guy, but man, what a fucking character this guy was!  Clearly he needs to feel like the shit at all times because he made it very clear that he was the big man wherever we went.  He made it a point to show me that he knew all the bartenders by name, and that they knew him.  He totally took control of the entire evening, from where we went and when, to what we talked about, to the pace of the conversation, and just about everything else.  Like I said earlier, it definitely wasn’t a bad date, it was just very clear that this was NOT my type of guy.  I kept wishing that I could trade in Mr. Big for Mr. Awkward and Geeky!  Le sigh.

We wound up making out at the end of the night, which was fine, but like I said, there wasn’t really any chemistry.  At one point he started grabbing my ass and made a move for the boobs, and I was like HOLD ON Mr. Big those boobs are not for sale.  Plus we were in the middle of a crowded sidewalk and I didn’t want all of Boston to see my boobs being grabbed.   Hello???  Manners, please!

The date was Thursday night, and we texted back and forth a little on Friday, and today there was no contact from either of us.  Fine with me.  I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him again to check out a new restaurant or something, but I think he felt the same way as I did about the date – we had a fun night, but this isn’t going anywhere.

Date #2 – Sadly, this was the case of a perfectly nice, normal, geeky, friendly, non-Mr.-Big type of guy, but I just wasn’t into him at all.  Like, at all.  We met at a bar and chatted over drinks for a while, and although we had a perfectly nice conversation, there was just no spark.  Nothing.  Oh well!  Again, I think he just wasn’t my type at all – physically this time.  There is no one thing I could point out that I didn’t like… I just wasn’t into him, you know?  Simple as that.  I’m not sure how he felt about me, but I think I was giving off some major don’t-kiss-me-goodnight type of vibes at the end of the night, so I think he got the hint.  No contact from either one of us today, so I think that is that.

Even though these two dates didn’t exactly work out, I’m glad I got out there in this new city and started meeting people!  Awesome!  I found some cute restaurants that I would definitely go back to, and I learned my way around downtown Boston a bit.  (I have no idea if it’s really called “downtown,” but I guess I mean “Boston” as opposed to “Cambridge.”)  Any locals care to set me straight?

Oh, and at one point I caught myself saying “subway” instead of “T.”  That one’s going to take a while to fix, I think.  : )

So we’ll see how Date #3 goes tomorrow!  The plans aren’t 100% finalized yet, but hopefully (hopefully!) I’ll have an exciting story to tell afterward.

In other news, I went to IKEA this week and bought an entire studio apartment worth of space-saving furniture, and I am now in do-it-yourself furniture-assembly hell.  Well, it’s actually not THAT bad, it just takes forever!  Why do dressers come in a million pieces with two million screws???  Sigh.

Hope you’re all having a fabulous Saturday night!  I’m exhausted and am going to bed.  *yawn*  : )

On the dating front, technically I have two dates scheduled for this week with new Boston guys, but I’m not really feeling either one of them right now.  I just feel like I have too many exciting things going on to bother with dating right now.  But I suppose I should go out anyway and meet these guys, if for no other reason than to learn my way around the city a bit.  Whatever!  Dating is so low on the priority list right now.  I am so much more excited about decorating my apartment!

Ahhhhhh, I think if I get any more excited I will burst into a million pieces.  This is a good feeling.  SO glad I made this move!

Phew!  I am now running on two solid nights of sleep, which I hadn’t gotten in weeks.  I am refreshed and energized and even connected to the internet again – awesome!  My apartment is a mess, but the cleaning and unpacking are moving along.  Finally I can breathe again! 

Plus I am just a few steps away from the big H, which makes me ridiculously happy.

Thanks for all your support during the move.  I’m so happy to have finally landed!

This is my last post from my apartment in New York, and since my cable cuts out tomorrow morning, I’ll be on an internet blackout for the next few days.  See you on the flip side.  Boston, here I come.

T-minus 4 days till moving day… cue music of doom…

I’m so sorry that I’ve been MIA for so long!  To be honest, I didn’t even realize how long it had been until I just saw that my last post was a solid month ago, yikes!

Here’s a quick update on what’s been going down these days:

(1) Moving is totally and completely stressing me out.  I was on the verge of a panic attack a few days ago, which was the culmination of several weeks of non-stop planning and making arrangements and overall driving myself insane.

(2) Downsizing my life to such a huge extent is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  This is crazy!  I have been essentially getting rid of everything I own, including all my furniture, which is apparently impossible to sell!  WTF, right?

(3) Moving from one crowded city with no parking to another crowded city with no parking is a major pain in the ass and is insanely expensive.  I am hemorrhaging money!

I’m still waiting for my “Summer of DD” to kick in… but I don’t think it’s coming anytime soon!  The only time I’ll be able to relax is after this move is over and done with, which won’t be for probably another 2 weeks.  Ugh.  Thank god I’m not working right now because all I do all day is plan this move – it’s a full time job in and of itself.  I don’t know how in the world I would have been able to do it while still at my job!  (And BTW, I don’t miss that job one bit!  Yay!)

Ahhhhhh, I am just so stressed out and anxious, and I’m not sleeping very well, and even though I keep crossing things off my to-do list, the list never gets any shorter.  Let me tell ya – making a big move like this – all by yourself! – is just insane. 

Little bits of excitement to report:

- Last week I went up to Boston for a few days to paint my new apartment (i.e., the crash pad).  I love the way it came out, but here’s the lesson learned: taking 3 days to paint an entire apartment by yourself in mid-July with no air conditioning is NOT a good idea.  Never again!

- I’ve been up to Boston a few times in the last month or so, and every time I walk through the campus I feel this crazy overwhelming sense of excitement and adrenaline.  I absolutely can’t wait to get started.  All kidding aside, this is seriously a dream come true for me.  I am thrilled beyond belief and am so incredibly fortunate to have been offerred this opportunity.  It’s unreal.

- I slapped my face up on the online dating dumpster a few weeks ago to round up a few dates in Boston after I move, and I have a handful of prospects that I’m semi-excited about.  Nothing overly exciting, but at least this will give me the opportunity to meet people up there and to learn my way around the city a bit.  There has been some cute texting with one guy in particular, but you really never know until you meet in person, so we’ll see how it goes after the move.

- I’m very excited to get my furry ball of love (i.e., the cat), but that probably won’t be for another month or so.

Interesting tidbits about infamous regulars on this blog:

- The NMP and I didn’t talk for about a month or so after the fallout on Memorial Day weekend when he was being totally childish and I kicked him out of my apartment for the second time in a row.  Just this past week we kind of worked things out – kind of – and are now at least talking again, which is good.  I don’t know if we can really move forward with a decent friendship at this point, but things are better than they were.

- You’ll all LOVE this one: After three and a half years, I finally gathered up the strength to delete David (aka Hot Marine) from my life.  This move to Boston is such a great opportunity to refine and purge, and I guess it was the perfect push that I needed to finally do this.  I deleted 3.5 years worth of emails, all the miscellaneous photos of him I had on my computer, his phone number, and his email address.  GONE.  Done and done.  Love it!!!  I know it took me a really long time to reach this point, but I’m really proud of myself for doing this.  It feels really, really good.  : )

- Interestingly enough, this move is also forcing me to look back on my six years in New York and evaluate where I stand and how I want to leave things, and, for my own sense of closure and peace of mind, I sent one final apologetic note to The Editor.  Looking back, that incident was truly a defining moment in my life, and I haven’t been the same person since.  I feel horribly about the way I behaved and the fact that I hurt him, and so I sent him a quick email to let him know just how much that whole experience shook me and how badly I still feel about it.  I don’t expect anything in response, but I just needed to send it.

Anyway… my big moving day is July 31 (a week from today!), so at least the end is near.  Give me strength!!!

How have you all been doing??  : )

(1) I went to Home Depot today to look at paint samples (how exciting!), and even though I was only walking around the store for a half hour or so, at least 5 or 6 employees asked me if I needed help finding something.  Note that they didn’t ask all other random people next to me if they needed help, just me.  Apparently I look really out of place at Home Depot or something.  I suppose it didn’t hurt that I was wearing a bring pink shirt and a miniskirt (not exactly a Home Depot outfit, I admit), but hello?  I’m 30 years old and can find my way to the paint section, thank-you-very-much.  One guy actually said, “You look too young to own a house.”  WTF??? 

(2) This afternoon I went furniture shopping (also very exciting!) and totally got picked up by a young furniture salesman.  Hahaha!  The best part was that – get this – the pink shirt I happened to be wearing today had my new university name slapped across the front in big letters (I’m proud, so sue me), and this guy said he was so intrigued that he just had to come over and ask me if I go to school there.  Who knew this school was a magnet for young bachelors???  : )  Awesome!!!  So I told him all about my grad program, and he was eating up every bit of it.  We probably chatted for a half hour or so, and I walked away with his cell number.  HA!

If this is a sign of things to come, this blog will be getting a lot more exciting in the next few months.  : )  Note to self: need to get a lot more of those pink t-shirts.

Hands down, the best part about the trip was that they had these mock apartments set up in the showroom, including some *tiny* city apartments just like the one I’ll have in Cambridge.  There was even a 275-sq-ft mock-up, which was perfect for me because my new place is 300-sq-ft.  Holy crap do these Swedish people know how to pack stuff into a tiny space and make it look fabulous.  I was blown away.  I took a ton of photos and wrote down the product numbers and dimensions of all the pieces I liked, and then I came home and started an Excel mock-up of my new place (based on measurements I took when I rented it), and tomorrow I’m going to start placing pieces in my Excel-ified apartment to see how it’ll all go together.  I am so freaking excited, you have no idea.

Oh IKEA, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways…  : )

Last night I dreamt that, similar to last time, this guy had decided to ditch his wife and hook up with me instead, which was great because we could both finally indulge in our animalistic fantasies after holding them in for so long.  This time around, for some reason we had decided that I would spend a few nights at his place as if my apartment was being fumigated or painted or something, even though nothing was going on.  The wife would be relegated to their bedroom, and this guy and I would hook up on the couch in the living room while the kids were sleeping.  How ridiculous and completely random it all was! 

One thing I remember vividly was the look on his face when we finally hooked up for the first time (or, at least, the look I imagined he would have), as if we had both been waiting for years for this to happen, and we were meant to be together all along.  I remember how scandalous it all was, with other friends finding out that I was staying at his place and wondering what the hell was going on.  And I certainly remember the instant that we started having sex – the moment of penetration is always so amazingly hot, am I right ladies? 

Ahhhhh, if only this could happen in real life.  But then again, if all of our sexual fantasies came true, they wouldn’t be such juicy fantasies anymore, would they?  : )

Earlier this week, in my new-found unemployed bliss, I went shopping during the afternoon and picked up a few new summer dresses – no big deal, just cute little dresses to wear around town while enjoying my vast expanse of free time.  I scored some major sales and got four dresses for 10 bucks each – not bad!  This morning I decided to pick out one of my new dresses and test drive it running some errands, so I threw it on, dropped off some mail, and picked up some stuff at the drug store… all the while thinking about how cute I must have looked in my new $10 dress.  When I got home, I was washing my hands in the bathroom and looked up to see that MY NIPPLE HAD BEEN HANGING OUT THE ENTIRE TIME.

Did I mention that I decided not to wear a bra with this dress?  It’s one of those things with a “built-in” bra-like structure, and it was super hot today, so I figured what the hell.  The dress fit well enough and my boobs are small enough that I often go bra-less in summer dresses like this and have never had a problem.  But apparently in my efforts to push up my boobs *just* enough so that I have a little cleavage, I must have pushed a little too far and not noticed until I got back home.  How embarrassing!

Oh well, I guess I must have given the cashier at the drug store a little more than she bargained for.  Note to self: always check for nipple exposure before leaving the apartment.  But I wonder… if my A-cup boobs managed to bust out of this dress, how in the world do women with bigger boobs wear these things???

P.S. – Like my tank-top tan?  : )

The NMP finally called me back tonight (after I had sent him 2 texts and 1 voicemail over the past 2 weeks or so), and he basically said that he’s “sick and tired” of me “fucking dictating everything” and said that he’s done dealing with my bullshit.  The conversation lasted about 30 seconds.  In the same breath that he said all of that, he also said goodbye, and I was about to hang up the phone when I realized that he hadn’t actually hung up yet.  So I waited kind of a long time, and neither one of us hung up.  And I was this close to calling him on it when I decided to just cut my losses and hang up.  I didn’t say goodbye – I just hung up.

To be honest: this sucks.  I hate that I fucked up our friendship so horribly, and I hate that he gave me too many reasons to be pissed at him.  Why are our interactions so doomed?  What happened to my friend?  Argh.  Not seeing him is probably for the best, but not even talking to him?  Not sure I ever really wanted that, but here it is, slapped in my face whether I like it or not.  Ouch.

I guess now I know how he feels.

Yesterday I had a three-hour lunch with a friend who I hadn’t seen in a while – this guy, actually.  He also just quit his job recently, so we were both unemployed with nothing to do on a random Tuesday afternoon, and we sat and had fresh seafood and margaritas by the water on a warm, sunny day.  Niiiiiiice.  Also nice: my very married friend was as cute as ever.  Another nice thing: he got me a going-away present.  We had been talking about this book on and off for the last few months, and he did some online searching for the particular edition that he had when he was a kid, and there it was waiting for me when I showed up for lunch.  How sweet!  It was only after I got home that I noticed that he had written a little message inside the front cover, and reading his good wishes in his own handwriting in this book that he had hunted down for me was just really heartwarming.  I slept with that book on my nightstand last night.

At one point during lunch we were talking about how men and women can never really be “just friends,” and then he was like, “well, it’s different with us, because I’m married, and you have all your crazy dating stuff,” and I was like, “………… right.”  Aaaaawkward!  Hahaha.  I would never, ever do anything to disrupt a perfectly happy marriage, but I’m telling you, if this guy wasn’t married, I’d have jumped him right then and there.

Then last night I had dinner with the other DD at my place, and we talked and talked about sex and men and all sorts of juicy stuff.  I love hanging out with this girl!  Where has she been all my life?  Oh, that’s right, living right fucking down the street from me!  Ugh, how ironic that I meet her right before I’m moving away. 

Today I went to the gynecologist (how exciting!) and got my annual checkup before heading off to school.  When she asked if I wanted to be tested for STDs, I said “yes, please.”  When she asked if I was sexually active (god, I hate that phrase!), I said, “yes.”  When she asked if I was just with one partner, I said, “ummm, no.”  And then we had the same conversation that I always have with my gynecologist – i.e., the most awkward conversation ever – about how my sex life is so unpredictable and is always changing and who knows who I’ll be sleeping with next.  Then I get the infamous “look of disapproval.”  Then I’m quick to say that I never ever ever have sex without a condom and how I’m 30 years old and have never ever ever been pregnant, and the “look of disapproval” slowly melts away.  Let us not mention the infamous STD saga of 2008, which STILL puzzles me because I never ever ever have sex without a condom.  But moving right along…

I have a bunch of health-related paperwork to fill out for school, so I spent the rest of the afternoon running around trying to get signatures and make photocopies, etc.  Only 2 more doctor’s appointments to go, and then I think I’ll be all squared away.  Tonight I had a home-cooked meal for the first time in who knows how long, and I just finished doing my laundry, and now the night is quiet and peaceful and relaxing.  Ahhhhhhh.  Another deep breath.  The “Summer of DD” finally feels within reach.  : )

And now for the super-fun full-disclosure portion of this post:

Full-disclosure item #1: I really miss talking to the NMP.  Ever since the incident over Memorial Day weekend (which was the second incident in a row with him), we haven’t been speaking.  Actually, to be more specific, the NMP hasn’t been speaking to me.  I offered an olive branch via text twice, with no response from him, and then I tried calling and he didn’t pick up.  I left a nice voicemail saying that I miss talking and hope we can work this out, but he hasn’t called back.  So sad.  I just hate this!  I know I probably deserve the cold shoulder here, but it still sucks.  I’d like to resolve this at some point.

Full-disclosure item #2: I’ve been in contact with David again.  Yes, that David.  Ooooooh, how scandalous!  I see you shaking your heads in disapproval.  I know, it’s horrible.  But also?  It’s kind of fun.  Nothing has been going on, but we’ve been emailing back and forth a bit and texting occasionally, and we’ve been trying to meet up for dinner one night to catch up.  A few weeks ago I got a booty call text from him, in which he implied that he and his gf were on their way out, and although I refused to see him in that context, I don’t think I’d be opposed to meeting for an innocent dinner.  He’s so adorable, after all.  That midwestern accent and those blue eyes… hahaha.  I’m SO asking for trouble here.

I think that’s about it for tonight, although I feel like there are so many things I’m forgetting!  Hmm… what else?  I’m sure it’ll come to me at some point.  For now I’m just enjoying a nice, calm night at home in my new-found unemployed bliss.  I don’t miss my job one bit.  : )

I wound up taking a 300-square-foot studio apartment in an amazing location.  The building seems to be old enough to have housed the founders of the university, but I’m right smack dab in the middle of the hustle and bustle, so I’m happy.  Hopefully being nice and close will make it easier to make new friends, and if I’m really unhappy with the apartment, I can move next year once I know the area a little better and have the convenience of being local while apartment shopping.  All in all, I’m very happy with how it all turned out, and I’m even happier that the crazy apartment hunt is over!

So… anyone want any of my furniture?  Or all of it?  : )

This has been the craziest week ever, and I’m sorry again that I’ve been away from the blog.  I miss you guys!  But rest assured that pretty soon (once I find an apartment in Boston), things will settle down, and I’ll have nothing to do except blog and soak up the sun allllllll day long.

Ah, freedom.  I’m SO loving this.  And to celebrate, I’m off to get drunk and shake my booty with sketchy bar monkeys.  And who knows, maybe I’ll even meet another sex god – but hopefully one who lives a little closer to home.  : )

(And I know I still owe you details!  I know!  I promise I’ll get to this.  It’s on my list, my dears.)

Here’s a quick run-down of what’s been going on:

- I’m quitting my job this week.  This week!  Friday is my  last day, and then my much-anticipated “Summer of DD” (a la “Summer of George” from Seinfeld) begins.  Awesome!  And… holy crap.  There is HR stuff to do.  There is work to wrap up and a desk to be cleaned.  And there’s that minor little detail of not having a paycheck anymore.  Yeah, what was I thinking???  I’m flipping out a little.

- I’m apartment shopping in Boston.  OUCH.  That city is friggin’ expensive as hell, and this is coming from a New Yorker!  I guess the problem is that my salary is dropping from comfortable-but-frugal in NYC to am-I-really-sure-I-won’t-starve-on-this in Boston.  So there is a huge drop in what I can afford, but still.  Give me a break, Boston!  I did a lot of research last week and went up to look at a handful of places yesterday, and suffice it to say, I didn’t come home with a signed lease.  Ugh.  If only I had a Scrooge McDuck pit of money to solve all my problems.  : )

- I met another DD, which is friggin’ awesome.  Unlike most of my other friends who are a little conservative and give me the eyes-popping-out-of-their-head look or the I-would-never-ever-do-that look whenever I even hint at the idea of casual sex, this girl totally gets me.  Too bad I met her with only a few more weeks left in New York!  Anyway, I’ve been enjoying chillin’ with this girl, and it feels great to be able to be 100% myself around her, dirty and vulgar and the whole nine yards.  Very cool.

- The NMP and I had a huge fight and are not currently speaking.  OMG, it was a huge disaster.  Remember that night when I kicked him out of my apartment for scaring the shit out of me?  Well, a week later, I kicked him out again.  I guess it took a few tries (years?) for me to learn this lesson, but here we are.  This time it was because he was being ridiculously childish and totally lame, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  God, WHY did I ever put up with him in the first place???  Long story short, we were in the middle of a late-night drunken hook-up, and the NMP flat-out refused to do anything but lie there and kept blatantly telling me “no” and “it’s still my turn” and “I’m not doing that.”  What the fuck???  We had a big fight, and I kicked him out, and that was that.  I’m done with this bullshit.  DONE!!!

So that’s the story, in a nutshell.  I’ve been running around like a crazy woman, stressed out about my upcoming lack-of-paycheck and lack-of-ability-to-afford-a-non-shithole-apartment-in-Boston, and there has been a lot of wine drinking and not getting enough sleep and being generally irritable and cranky.  Dislike!  But hopefully things will settle down enough for me to enjoy my “Summer of DD” before the Big Move.

One piece of good news – while I was walking around my new campus yesterday, I was reminded of how much I love it up there.  It was a miserable day, and I was exhausted, sweaty, and rained on, but I was still happy.  I think that’s a good sign.  : )

And yes, call me a snob or a yuppie or whatever the hell you want, but I am sooooooo loving the fact that I am now the proud owner of an email address that consists of [myname]@[holy-shit-big-name-school].edu.  LOVE.  IT. 

Ahhhhhhh, the sweet smell of academia.  : )

**********

By the way, I am SUPER behind on blogging these days.  Shit has been going down left and right, and I haven’t written about any of it, and I still owe you my hot Texas-guy-sex details!  Ahh!

- It’s fucking HOT AS HELL in here in the northeast.  DAMN.  To top things off, I’m convinced that it’s actually hotter in my apartment than it is outside.  Actually, to be more specific, my apartment has turned into a sauna.  I think I’ve lost at least 5 pounds in sweat tonight.  It’s all very attractive, trust me.  : )

- Due to the crazy sauna-like state in here, I finally caved and put in my window air conditioner.  I try so hard to make it to Memorial Day, but tonight was just too fucking hot.  TOO HOT!!!  Sigh.  I am so sticky and sweaty and disgusting right now, but at least I hear the chugging of the AC in the background and hope that it’s bearable in here by the time I go to sleep.

- Due to a female shortage on our corporate co-ed softball team, I played softball tonight for the first time in, oh, about 15 years or so.  It was… ok.  I’m not a big fan of softball, and I felt a little self-conscious because I sucked ass and was dragging down an otherwise pretty decent team, but who cares!  It was fun.  I even hit the ball (kind of).  Yay me.

- In a shocking twist of fate, my Texas two-night-stand popped up on my cell phone tonight, and we wound up chatting for a few minutes.  Good news #1: He didn’t ask to get together again anytime soon, which hopefully means that he really is back in Texas and not home with a wife in New York somewhere.  Good news #2: I got his last name.  Seriously, it was kind of bothering me that there was a guy on my sex list with no last name.  I mean, really.  I’m not that girl, am I?  Good news #3: He was actually friendly and cute over the phone.  I really can’t imagine that I’ll ever see this guy again, ever, but hey, it was a nice conversation and kind of cute that he called. 

- The Texas guy and I are now friends on Facebook.  Cue music of doom…

Edited to add: I just checked out his FB page, and OMG this guy is a total player!  Every photo is him in a bar with amazingly hot girls throwing themselves at him.  It’s ridiculous.

See you in the shitter, brotha.

Edited to add: A statement issued by ABC (discussed in this article - WARNING: SPOILERS) at least clears up some confusion.  Funny, I actually prefer my interpretation of the finale before I heard about this rather than what I’m thinking now.  So I guess my impression of the finale just got worse.  Ugh.

Edited to add (again): After reading a decent splattering of online LOST finale reviews, and after processing my own thoughts on the finale a little more, here’s my conclusion: Despite my high hopes that, based on six edge-of-your-seat seasons, LOST would blow me away and take over as my all-time favorite TV series, the finale was a total let-down and – dare I say it – pretty fucking lame.  So my all-time favorite is still Six Feet Under, as it has been for the past few years and as I suspect it will be for a while to come.  Sorry, LOST.  You are dead to me.

Oh – OH! – and the fact that answers are supposedly coming as a bonus feature to what I assume will be a ridiculously high-priced DVD box set?  LAME!  What, it’s all about extortion of the fans now?  We won’t explain anything on TV, but if you drop 100 (150?  200?) bucks we just might give you a little something to chew on?  Not cool, writers.  Not cool.

I just kicked the NMP out of my apartment, after he drove 2 hours to get here.  We were supposed to hang out, catch up, go out for a few drinks, and come back to my place to fool around – no big deal.  But as we were leaving my apartment to head out to the bar, the NMP cornered me in the hallway and essentially threw himself at me, which normally I would have been totally into, but in this case I think he (unintentionally) crossed the line between being sexually aggressive (which I like) and flat-out attacking me.  I know he didn’t mean any harm, and I completely trust him, but for some reason this time he just went too far.  He kept saying “I’m taking control,” which, combined with his actions, triggered my internal panic button or something.  I told him to stop and he didn’t at first, which just got me even more panicked, and finally I had to physically push him off me and step away… at which point I told him to leave, which thankfully he did.

It’s funny how I always talk about how I like guys who are sexually aggressive and who will slap me around a bit, but there is such a huge difference between being playfully aggressive and being frighteningly aggressive, and the line (however fine it may be) was definitely crossed tonight, and I totally and completely flipped out.  Not cool.  I am still a little shaky and just double-checked that all my doors are locked, and I feel so much better knowing that I’m safe and secure in my own apartment.

Geez.  I don’t know what got into him – or me – but something there just wasn’t right.  I’m off to curl up on my couch, eat some ice cream (comfort food), and probably check my locks a few more times.  Maybe this is all in my head – I don’t know – but I don’t think I’m going to be seeing the NMP again for a while.

P.S. – He just called and I didn’t pick up.  Not ready to talk about this yet.

I’m headed out to a club with the girls tonight, so at least I’ll forget about the dumpster for a while.  : )  Happy Friday, everyone!

Day 1: Cute-looking dude emails DD.  Awesome!  This guy is actually cute and sounds like a normal, intelligent person.  A glimmer of hope is born.

Day 2: DD emails cute-looking dude back with a cute, witty response.  Later that day, cute-looking dude asks if I want to chat over the phone.  Sure!

Day 3: DD sends cute-looking dude her cell number early enough in the afternoon so that he can call her that night without worrying about calling an hour after the email which is totally weird and creepy.  Later that day, cute-looking dude emails “thanks for your number.”  Wha???  Night comes and goes with no call.

Day 4: Still no call.  No word from cute-looking dude, and no offer of his number for me to call him.  Weird.

Days 5-6: Still no call.  WTF, cute-looking dude?  Did you really just sit on my number for 3 days???

Day 7: DD accepts the fact that this guy is a total douche.  She sends a quick email to cute-looking dude saying “had hoped to hear from you – oh well – best of luck,” to which he responds five minutes later with “you will.”  Again, WTF???  If you’re sitting at your computer responding to my email RIGHT NOW, why don’t you just call me, prick?  DD responds that he is too fucking late and that he should go fuck himself (but with nicer words, of course).  Done and done.

Lesson learned a long time ago and reinforced for the millionth time with this story: If a guy is interested, he’ll call.  Period.  If this guy wasn’t interested, why did he respond with “you will” [hear from me]?  I mean, seriously, what was the point of that??  Ahhhhh, stupid men.

Did I ever mention that I hate online dating?

So, this begs the question: what should I take?  : )  There are about a million things on my wish list, but at the top of the list (and not uncommon at all, so I hear) are languages.  Oh, how I love languages.  My long-lost love!  (Aside from my love of all things scientific, of course.)  In college I took as much Spanish as I could – that is, until I ran out of room for electives.  Not only were the language, literature, and film fascinating to me, but Spanish class was always a very welcome mental break from my usual lab reports and calculations.  I also attempted to take French, but my professor kept yelling at me for speaking Spanish in his French class (I was seriously confused – they seemed so similar!). 

Anyway, my interest in languages is still as strong today as it ever was, and instead of taking more Spanish, I’d love to try something completely different.  And as luck would have it, they offer just about everything at this place, so I have my pick of pretty much anything I want.  How friggin cool is this?  After giving it some thought, Russian seems to be floating to the top of the list (you all know how I love classic Russian lit, right?), but I still would love to try French again.  I have no interest in learning anything remotely useful – like Chinese or Arabic – it figures, right?  All my interests tend to be impractical, but the Spanish has certainly proven useful. 

My only concern with this grand plan of mine is that, although I can technically take as many classes as I want, I’ll have to squeeze them into an already-packed schedule full of my departmental requirements and research.  Yeah.  Therein lies the problem.  Based on my conversations with current grad students, taking classes “for fun” is pretty much impossible.  Ugh.  But I am determined to attempt to make it happen!  I can’t say that I’m determined to actually make it happen (because god only knows how busy I’ll be), but I’m going to make a good faith effort here.  How cool would it be to be able to read Anna Karenina in the original text???  : )

To those of you who come here for dating-related content, my sincere apologies for my academic rant tonight.  I can’t help it!  This stuff is super exciting to me, and I am just so in love with this university for a dozen different reasons.  I just can’t wait to get started already.  : )

So, anyone out there speak Russian?  Would I be getting myself in over my head or what?

Anyway… lately I’ve been putting a lot of mental energy into strategically avoiding New Year’s Lips – physically, electronically, and mentally.  I don’t hang out in his neighborhood anymore because I don’t want to accidentally run into him (and his girlfriend).  I don’t look at cute photos of him that I’ve swiped from his Facebook page and saved on my computer (ahem).  I definitely don’t visit his FB page and actively avoid logging in when I see that he’s posted something – I just wait a day until he falls off my news feed.  I don’t read his old emails, especially the one with the awkward girlfriend announcement.  And most of all, I don’t allow myself to think about him… well, not any more than it’s taking me to write this post, anyway.

I used to think about NYL a lot.  I used to fantasize about him, I used to pull out old memories of him when I was bored or lonely – cooking pancakes for breakfast, cuddling up by the fireplace – and I used to replay that amazing first kiss over and over in my mind because it was just THAT good.  But I’m trying to avoid all of this now, and it’s so much harder than I thought it would be.

But… I think actually thinking about him would be even harder – replaying all those memories and knowing that he’s “in a relationship” (god, I fucking HATE Facebook!) with someone else.  And she’s cute, even.  I see them smiling in photos on FB, which is why I don’t go on there very much anymore.  I don’t want to torture myself with that, so I’m trying very, very hard to just get him out of my mind completely.  You can tell how well it’s working because I’m writing this huge post about him – ha.

I think the main problem is that NYL is just so good in so many ways, and it drives me crazy to be searching for someone else when such a great catch is sitting right in front of me.  I’m insanely attracted to him, and he’s the perfect combination of genuine, honest, geeky, smart, funny, outgoing but awkward, and – of course – absolutely phenomenal in bed.  I hope this girl knows how lucky she is!

Of course, the big flaw is that he doesn’t feel the same way about me, and I can accept that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to get him out of my head.  I suppose the other draw to him these days is that you always want what you can’t have, and I definitely can’t have him.  That was made very clear to me after I totally embarrassed myself a few weeks ago.  So, here I am, trying to avoid all thoughts and images of him, FB updates, emails, etc., all the while thinking that I would never have been in this mess if he had never contacted me out of the blue last summer in the first place.  But oh, then I wouldn’t have had those great nights with him… and I really loved those nights.  Irony, what a pain in the ass.  : )

So that’s the story for now – it hurts and it sucks, and although I’m happy that he’s happy, I’m actually pretty sad about the whole thing.  I know I should just get over it, let it go, move on, blah blah blah.  I know.  But right now it hurts, and telling myself to get over it is not going to change anything.  So for now I’m avoiding him to try to make it hurt less, and it works a little, except when I accidentally stumble upon him when I wasn’t expecting to, and then it hurts all over again. 

Oh NYL, sometimes I wish I never met you.